Yes it is true.
I have re-joined Slimming World.
Ok, true story - can any of you remember what sent me over the precipice into Lap Band World?
It was a little slimming world Baileys Cheesecake recipe.
I had prepared a couple of them in ramekins for when I got home from work. DH was away and I was trying to be good and not order take away food. I had stuck to plan really well for the whole week in my last big push to lose the blubber. I made these with care, and was thoroughly looking forward to eating a 'naughty' on plan treat.
The recipe went something like this:
Crushed up scan bran or weetabix + splender and flora extra light to make the base.
Quark with vanilla essence, gelatine and 2 tablespoons of baileys for the cheesecake bit.
Well. Let me just say that as I slid down the wall into a heap on the floor in abject disgust, I broke. That was my lowest point. The worst part was also that it was 11pm and DS was in bed and I couldn't go and get my hands on 10 kg of chocolate that I needed Stat!
That sent me to the computer typing in gastric surgery and 3 weeks later I was banded.
The last 5 years since that moment, is all recorded for you here.
So slimming world and I were not the most comfy of partners from then on to be fair and joining slimming world again was not the easiest of choices to make either.
I decided to bit the bullet however, and join on Tuesday 1st May.
But, on Tuesday I had to be on a radio show talking about my band, how it hadn't worked for me etc and how I got to that point (the cheesecake incident featured too!). It all started because DH phoned in on my behalf about a lady in a similar situation to me on their consumer show. They phoned me and asked if I would go on the show the next day over the phone and give my experience. It was going to be a 10 minute type thing and help this lady out. That was Friday.
As I was waiting to go on air they called me and said that they had loads of calls for the item that they were currently talking about, and that they were not going to change the subject at that time, but could I possibly come into the studio do it on Tuesday instead. GULP.
Well of course I agreed, if not only for the experience. I would have posted the link to it here, but its only on for 7 days as a listen again, so hardly seems worth it. I will write out a transcript and post it here though.
Doing the radio thingy caused several problems though. The first being that I had a dental appointment to fit my brand new Maryland Bridge which I was very very eager to get in place. I had all the preparation done (1 hour of drilling!!!) about 3 weeks ago and it feels terrible. My anchor tooth is currently in an H shape and feels so random on my tongue!
The second problem was that I had intended to join a slimming class that morning hadn't I. After DH had told me about this woman who was going through similar problems to me with the band it had got me thinking. I just CANT be 5 years into a lap band and be the same weight any more... its just horrible to be in this position. So I had ruminated on it since Wednesday last week and decided I was going to give it an all out push.
Well... both of those things were going to go for a burton.
I drove to the BBC studios in Luton to do the show. On the way there my engine started to overheat. I had just got onto the A1 and there is no hard shoulder. I turned the blowers up full blast and the heating up to maximum to vent some of the air (Hot Tip - pun and all!) and try and cool it down whilst praying for deliverance in the form of a layby.
Once stopped, in the piddling rain and spray from juggernauts, I lifted the bonnet. Thankfully my car is a total pig sty and there's all kinds of crud in that vehicle. I grabbed a pair of DS's trousers to cover the water tank on my car and turned it ever so gently. The last thing I wanted was 3rd degree burns! The tank was empty!
My first thought was "gawd the head gasket has gone" but a quick dip of the oil assured me that it hadn't... phew!! (the oil would be all milky if it had) I then poured an (old) bottle of Evian in there... about 1/2 litre... and hoped that I would make it to the garage further up.
I did. I bought another bottle of water and prayed that the refrigerated liquid would not crack the radiator or something dreadful, and someone must have been listening so it was all good.
So I continued my drive to Luton, somewhat bedraggled, but once the hair had dried again, it didn't look so bad.
I arrived and I then dug up all my old ghosts on the show.
After it was finished, I then drove home, feeling like I was going to have a heart attack. Stressed to the max!
They offered to keep in touch, and on the drive home I thought to myself, you know what? This is the start of something new. It was like I had exorcised my demons. Talking it through, which I had done many many times, was very cathartic. Knowing I was telling this story to 1000's of people was very scary but also like therapy. It was out there. I had told it as it was and there was no going back. At that point I couldn't remember a word that I had said either, and I was slightly worried that I had made a fool of myself, but somehow I didn't get the feeling that I had.
My husband rang me and said that I had done really well. He said it with pride in his voice and seemed really quite amazed. You can sometimes tell when you surprise people, and I think I had surprised him. Obviously he loves me and after 16 years we are very close and are proud of each other all the time, but this was a "blimey, she had balls and she did it well" kind of a voice. It made me feel so happy.
I finally felt like with the right help I could put all this crap behind me.
Hearing someone say your name on air advertising the fact that I had had 5 years of hell made me feel taken seriously. I have never felt like that before.
DH has listened to the show for years and was thrilled I had met him. He was a bit peeved that I didn't ask for a signed photo (but thats a bit cheesy for me LOL) He sounds slightly different in real life too and reminded me a little bit of Doctor Who... he would make an excellent Doctor.
I was surprised that I actually liked his asking questions that you know people really want to ask but don't hve the guts to. I was not offended in the slightest as it is the truth, an opportunity to get across what its like being stuck in this fat prison and questions that the general public who don't know about this kind of stuff wanna know. And they want to know why I chose this extreme measure.
It was an absolute privilege to do it and I am proud of myself because I have listened to it, although I cringe at my own voice, I am so glad I was brave enough to do it and give little old me a voice. LIVE!
It did make me feel a bit weird afterwards though. When I got back, I felt a serious need to clear up my house and throw away junk and old stuff... I cleared the top of my piano... put nicknacs away and cleared the decks.
I was a bit peeved that I hadn't been able to start slimming world as I felt the need to start again. It was 4:30 and I was bumming around the house not knowing what to get up to next when I had a brain wave. I checked online to see if there were any evening classes run by the same woman. There was one at 5:30 in a town about 35 mins from here. So I decided there and then, full of tea, coffee and lunch that I would go to that class and even though it was the evening, it would be my new start.
I weighed in at 115.6kg (255lbs or 18 stone 3). Not bad considering I never ever ever ever get on the scales if liquid/solids have passed my lips of a morning!
I was impressed and pleased that I had bothered. I know that I would not have been on a diet until next Tuesday otherwise and then the momentum from the show would have worn off I guess.
So as I was sitting there at the group, they offered raffle tickets and I usually don't bother, but I felt a little bit out of sorts, so I bought some.
They did the class and EVERYONE in the class of 20-25 people had lost weight. Once guy had lost 8.5lbs in his first week!! there was a lot of 2 or 3 lbs off here and there and I was pretty amazed.
They did the raffle. At every other class I have been to, people bring in an old tin of sardines, or a dusty packet of jelly that's been chewed at by mice and you go up and pick what you fancy from this assortment of wares if you are unlucky enough to win.
At this class, there was only one winner (and no it wasn't me!) and they won a prize bought by the consultant.
This week, it was a recipe she had printed off from the slimmingworld website. So there was the printed recipe, a set of 4 glasses, and the ingredients for the recipe - 2 miniature bottles of baileys, 1 packet of quark, some scan bran and a sachet of gelatine
Freaking Baileys Cheesecake!
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!!!!!
Alpha and Omega my friends. Full circle.