Tuesday, 20 November 2012

TA DA!!! I did it!!

There it is everyone... my complete mountain range along this expedition.

I have a little way to go to make it to my summit as you can see from my ticker at the top of the blog, but I am over half way. It has been a MAD journey.

I can't believe that the beginning descent as a banded person was way back in February 2007.

All those little dots mean so much to me - either in a bad way or a good way.

All that time until the final descent on the right had side was me and my band.

That final descent was me ON MY FREAKING OWN!

I had it in me to do this thing right from when I made my decision to have a lap band - I just didn't think I could do it and that I was a failure.

Truth was, I was not allowing myself to succeed.

All you people out there struggling with your band - take a look at that graph and see my battle. I whined, I was overjoyed, I whined and whinged and whined a bit more and then had a bit of success and then none.

Then see the point where I empowered myself to get this thing together and get cracking.

I had to accept some hard and very nasty facts about myself, but it did the trick.

I think all of us who struggle with our weight think we have a slow metabolism. I knew I did from the day I got fat. It wasn't my fault. Well - I got it tested and I was fine. In fact my metabolism was a couple of clicks faster than the norm. Bummer!!

That did it for me. It gave me a top limit (1947 calories) which I could never eat over ever again in my life. It also gave me a bottom starting figure for losing weight which was about 1500. I was not allowed to eat less than this.

It is a fallacy that you will lose it quicker if you eat less than this... you might to start out losing a lot but you will lose the will to live. You're body just cant hack it long term. On my new plan I had lunch and dinner and then there was still often times 600 calories left. I wasn't allowed to eat less so I went to the shop and bought a massive bar of chocolate - one of those slab type ones and eat the lot. 1st week I lost 6 pounds!!!!

This has to be the nicest way to lose weight ever. I am hungry and know I can eat. I am not puking up or missing out on nice meals with my family. I am not cooking and someone else doing the eating. I have wine, and cheese, and cake and Chinese take away and curries. MMMMmmm I actually feel like I live like a normal person and each and every time I have got on the scales I have lost weight.
I have even been on an all inclusive holiday  - all the food and drink you can stomach - and STILL not gained!!

If you are struggling I SERIOUSLY urge you to give this a go with every fibre of your being.

If you have a fill it usually costs between £50 and £200 in the UK. Mine were £125 but it depends on your provider and if you had it done privately or NHS etc.

This test cost me £40. The subscription to LIVESTRONG.COM was about £20.

Best £60 I ever spent.

It's easy. Look at that weight dropping off me!!!!

I have every confidence that I will be my goal weight well before next summer. That will be a DREAM COME TRUE.

Today I weigh EXACTLY the same weight as I did at my brothers wedding in August 2008. That was my lowest ever weight since being morbidly obese.

I am not morbidly obese now. I am overweight.

The next battle I have is to try and not think that I am happy here where I am. I am very happy that I have reached this milestone again - one I never thought would happen - but I am not happy at this level of fatness. I have another 22kgs to go or about 45lbs. Something like that.

So that's my new diet. I'm gonna call it the "Wait - Don't get a Gastric Band Just Yet" diet.

Here it is:

Go get a Resting Metabolic Rate test - RMR. You can get this done in most gyms or leisure centres.

Look at your RMR. Whatever that number is take 500 calories off it.

e.g. my RMR was 1947. Take 500 away = 1447

Eat that lower limit. DON'T EAT LESS and don't eat significantly more. You must eat all of the lower limit cals. If you do fancy a blow out - then don't go more than your RMR.

Every time you lose 2 pounds (1 kgs) take 5 calories off of your lower limit.

e.g. lower limit is 1447. lose 2 pounds adjust lower limit to 1442

This all becomes much easier with a calorie programme like Livestrong as it auto adjusts your lower limit as you lose weight.

It works. Seriously. If you're struggling to lose weight why not try it. What have you got to lose?
You don't have to have your RMR measured if you use livestrong - and it has a free option so it's possible to not spend anything doing this.

I wanted to get it tested clinically for my own realisation and torture ;-) I have it sellotaped to my wall to remind me I am normal and being overweight is not because I have a slow metabolism.

That's my advice. I am enjoying losing weight now and it was as easy as pie.

Wednesday, 31 October 2012


HA! Result.

I now have less to lose than I have already lost!! YIPEE.

This morning I was 99.3kgs and that means I only have another 22kgs or so to go until I am at my goal weight. Or what I think my goal will be any way.

If I am really really good do you think I could lose 1kg a week? I doubt it. Nice thought though!!!

I am hoping to be at goal around April next year so I can buy a whole new summer wardrobe of clothes. Ahhhhh that would be awesome, and then in the autumn I can buy a whole new winter wardrobe!! It would work out perfectly.

Anyway, today I wanted to share a miracle with you.

Sharpie pens. They. Are. A. Nightmare. To. Get. Out. Of. Clothes!

Unlessssssss you have some antibacterial hand gel!! Check this out.

DS comes in complaining that he got pen on his really expensive heavy cotton Jack Wills jumper I just bought him *Flared nostrils and steam from ears*.

I dash to the car and grab my 'manky piano kid degrimer' aka hand gel.
liberally dump on gel
rub a little bit violently
keep rubbing
Rinse and then....Ta Da!!
Ok, so there is the tiniest weeniest bit left, but I couldnt be bothered any more and it's so miniscule that on the whole jumper its near on impossible to see.
So, I thoroughly recommend this for all forms of indelible inks - expecially sharpies!!



Saturday, 27 October 2012

No longer in treble figures!!!!!!!!!! 99kgs!!

Yes! At last I have broken into double figures!! I have been struggling with this last few pounds, made harder because of my 5 day break in Majorca - All Inclusive - and then a horrible cough and cold thing.

I also hadnt been able to get to the gym for the middle weeks of October which sucked because I was either away or too ill.

I went back to the gym on Thursday for the first time in what seemed like a billion years, but was in fact only 18 days. I was glad to see that I hadnt slipped too far from grace and after 1 session was back up to my old level and workout times.

I also have VICTORY on the trouser front. Remember my fave trousers I havent been able to wear for about 4 years?  This is how far I got them on last time

And today...

What a difference 12 weeks makes! The first photo of the trousers was taken mid July!!

YAY! I am so happy. I know it's now not really the weather for these kind of trousers, but I love them :-)

Also the T shirt in the first photo is the white version of the black one above. This only reached by belly button in the first shot as it strained to contain my buxomness... today the T shirt sits much nicer.


Looks like I am on track to be goal weight within a year of starting this mission. Half way there if you check out my diet ticker above.

Hope everyone has a fab weekend.

Saturday, 22 September 2012

So Close I can smell it...

Today I weighed 101.2kgs.

I told DH that I would go to badminton and join his club when I hit 100kgs... so only 1kg away from that right now. That's kind of scary, but kind of exhilarating too.

I am blonde, thinner that I have been in 3 years and feeling very very good right now.

My MAJOR GOAL, in case you don't know is 97kgs. It's an incredible achievement to have lost 22kgs and get to 100kgs (which I will hopefully get by next week) but 97 is the one for me. 97kgs was my lowest I ever got with my Lap band, and I am amazed I am doing it without the band and its so easy. I have shed nearly 15kgs since May and I am so amazed with myself. I truly thought that I was lost forever in a sea of fatness.

I am hitting the gym hard too. I am trying to go 4 times a week, and am trying to burn at least 500 calories each time I work out. that usually amounts to 50 minutes workout, but occasionally I go to 65 minutes to get 700 calories busted!!

Yesterday was a 700cal day. The reason for this was because I wanted a comfort food day. I have now figured that I can have blow out days and eat quite a lot of crap (within moderation) and still lose weight which is sooo cool, as long as I up the gym.

Yesterday I really fancied Rice & Sauce. This is a pretty hefty meal because the rice is 355 calories in itself and the sauce is practically as calorific as lard! Can you believe that? The sauce that I have with my rice is 740 calories for 100g!!

Its a fermented soy bean and chilli sauce from Lao Gan Ma. It's a small jar that costs about £1.50 a jar and its hotter than hell. It is also unbelievably delicious. It's not like anything I have ever tasted and I adore it.

I had 30 grams of this stuff on my 100g of rice and whacked up 600cals just for my lunch.
It was divine, and for tea we had a takeaway - I had a Chicken Tikka Naan wrap with salad, mayonnaise & chilli sauce.

I washed it down with a bottle of red and the evening was complete.

Sometimes you just need to blow and comfort yourself, and that's the beauty of this diet I am doing... I can eat whatever the hell I want as long as I negate the excess with exercise or keep to the limit.
My calorie limit has reduced to 1445 calories a day now, so I must reign myself in. I am blown away by my weight loss this month though!

YAY! I think I will be slimming world slimmer of the month again :-)

Saturday, 8 September 2012

Radio 4th

Went on the radio for the 4th time yesterday. I was only on for about 20 minutes, and I had so much to say, so much joy to spread, so many useful things to help people who are struggling... but I couldn't say it as I had to go through all the back story again. Which was also wrong. Which you cant contradict. Which sucks.

I guess its what they want but its a bit rubbish to not get it right. His scales are whack too.

I am 102.3kgs - 16stone 1.5lbs or 225.5lbs

He weighed me at 16stone 6... so you can see there's a couple of kgs/lbs out right there!! That happened last time too. To be honest that doesn't matter as long as its consistent but then he said that the last time I came on I weighed in at 17stone 2 when he ACTUALLY weighed me at 17 stone 6!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! grrrrrr

So on air the last time I saw him, he said I had lost 8 pounds - which at that time accounted for 2 pounds a week since I started my programme with my Guru that they provided.

So this time It would have been WOWOWOWOWOW. But because he got it wrong by saying it was 17stone 2 it looked a bit..... Meh.


They also went through all the back story saying stuff like "so you used to cheat the band shoving ice cream down and chocolate etc etc...!" NO I F'ING DID NOT!!! I don't even like ice cream!!!!!!

But you cant contradict it.

Sod it.


I am losing weight and I actually don't give a rats ass what he thinks. I did get in further along that actually eating with a band is hard if you were served up steak and chips so generally mushier things are easier like curry and chilli and soups etc and that's where I went wrong in high calorie saucy things. So I did right it, but not at the time when I needed to. I also got in that my band broke - not that I just cheated - and that it wasn't just me getting a band then fucking it up because liek he said - that would be ridiculous. FFS! Who would spend £6K and then go eating liquid lard. twat.

My journey has been FRAUGHT with disasters and now finally I have got it together.  THAT is the freaking back story!!!!!

I have lost 13 and a half KILOS since May. That's 30lbs!!! More than 2 stone!!!

I am so chuffed at myself and my dedication thus far.

I have learned during this few months that if I fail - then I fail small. If I had a cake bar too many or a desert at a restaurant before... then I knew I had screwed up. But that was always the tip of the iceberg and then would follow a meltdown. I hadn't just messed up - I had messed up permanently. So now I have had to force myself to just fail in that moment. Fight the urge to dive down the slope of misery and "I'll start again on Monday". I now just get right back to the grind. I also compensate with extra gym.

The Monday Conundrum is no longer a problem. Nothing starts Monday. It starts right now.

I also don't condemn myself for my previous existence. I don't want to really think about being the fatter old me because I am creating a new person - the real person that is inside me. The one that people talk to, love, confide in but that is covered in Fat and marginalised because of that.

I don't place undue pressure or stress on myself either. I don't write out goals that are unattainable or push myself into routines or habits that I wont be able to sustain for the rest of my life. Those things are not the elixir to losing weight but the total poison.

I have also realised that my motivation is driven by happiness. I don't do fear. It would seem that motivation is driven by either happiness or fear and although they both work - happiness is my master. I have treated myself every day. I have had my hair done (yeah we know what a nightmare that was - but it was nice to have it played with all the same!) I have done my toenails in nice polish and I have indulged in books I want to read and TV slobbing for contentment. I finish the day tired and ready for bed knowing I have accomplished a lot.

I also have realised I have to stop making myself feel bad about being naughty. No ones perfect so a little treat here and there - as long as it is just that - is not the end of the world... and to be brutally honest is DEFINITELY not as bad for me now as when I was 20kgs/40lbs heavier! The health risks with a pig out now, are way less!!

So last night I had a curry and a bottle of wine and enjoyed every mouthful. It doesn't negate my previous success and it doesn't negate any future ones either. It was yummy, and to be honest I didn't even consider it failing. It was a food choice which I counted the calorie cost of and it was YUM! However, it didn't enjoy me evidently as I had a really dodgy tum this morning, but hey!

I am now off to the gym to burn about 600 cals - this is an extra session to compensate for the additional calories yesterday. It works!

I consume about 1450 calories a day now... gradually getting less and less. As the weight comes down, I get less to eat HAHA that's the only bummer - but it gets the job done.

Post Script -

For people who have followed me for years - I apologise for the self righteousness of 'me' at the moment. I have never been in a position when I have been winning this game so I thought I would - just this one time - enjoy the opportunity!! HAHAHAHA

Friday, 24 August 2012

New stuff

Oh I am really happy.

I have had a great couple of weeks, with a minor scare in the middle.

It started like this:

I want to be blonde.

So I went to my hairdresser and got my hair highlighted. It was the first time I had had him do it as the girl I usually have has left. I say 'usually' in a loose way because I am the kind of person who has one hair cut a year.

I had a full head of highlights and a cut and because there wasn't enough time to blow dry it, I came home with wet hair. No probs. I live in a rural place and that kind of thing is accepted. They also are of the opinion that we will only get home, wash it and blow dry it ourselves anyway... that's the folk around here for you - I am a 'foreginer' remember.

I got home and thought I would just let it dry natural and bummed around on the computer for a bit. DS walks in from a mates house and yells "What have you done?!?!?!" I go to the mirror and - NO JOKE - I am as grey as my great grandmother.

The highlights were pure white. I was stunned a bit, recovered and grabbed my car keys. I drove to tesco and grabbed a bottle of my usual blonde colour (I have been au-naturale dark blonde for some time though) called Helsinki by Loreal.

Got home, added the jollop and waited. Took it off, washed it, dried it and was gulping back tears.

It was now blue where the white was, and orange where the dark blonde original was.

So I phoned my Mum for advice. She suggested getting a dark or beige blonde and putting that one and then letting it fade.

I went to the chemist in the village and grabbed medium blonde and dark blonde just in case. I put the Dark blonde on and all the palaver that follows... Once it was dry I was gutted. It was darker than my own natural hair colour, and a kind of auburn/reddy colour on the parting and crown area on the top of my head. I should have gone for the lighter one :-(

Mum was out so this was dissolving into a nightmare situation. I googled. I found a product called Colour B 4 which basically strips the colour you just put on out of your hair.

They had one at tescos. We drove there, DH and I, and grabbed a bottle of that, a bottle of Lightest Ash Blonde and a dark brown hair dye.

My reasoning was that after the stripper, I was going to try and get it blonde again, but if all else failed I could go brown!

The stripper scared the total shit out of me

It went day-glo yellow where the white bits were and violent orange on my natural.

I looked like I had been tangoed!

After all that, and at 11pm I rang mum saying we were good to go for ash blonde. She suggested I put it on and after 5 minutes have a look and see if it was a shade that I could live with... if not then keep checking until I was. I liked the colour at 5 minutes so we washed it off and it had neutralised the violence and toned the rest.

Its not quite what I wanted... which was golden honey coloured hair... but it was blonde.

All night and most of the next day my head ached and felt hot. It was as sore as a slapped bum. I had blisters the next day on the top of my head and I was just glad the hair was still hanging in there.

I am going to give it another week or so and then put a helsinki on it again and tone it to the right blonde as this is really not what I wanted... its still mildly orange on the top and the only way to solve that is to bleach it further. ( the photos seems absolutely fine, but orange is there trust me!)

I did this because Darling Husband said he loved it when I was blonde. I was blonde when I met him, and was blonde for many years via loreal and being darker these last few years I haven't particularly enjoyed enjoyed either.

I countered with, I loved you WITH hair... but we just giggled and I succumbed to the bottle. I think he would just love it if I had the red lipstick and stilettos to go with it!! Perve.

So I am happy with my new shade and then I went out looking at cars.

I went to have a LOOK. Just have a few test drives of different cars and see which one I liked and felt safe and comfortable in. We didn't intend to by one just yet as we still haven't finished paying Mum back for DH's car. Our last payment to her is 1st October. His car was a bit of a treat and they wanted us to have it, so they said get it and then pay us back. We have paid them nearly £300 a month so that we get rid of the debt in a year and that's worked well.

It also showed us that we could easily afford to have a new car over 5 year finance because we would pay less that £300!! So we decided that we would get a new car for me, as mine poor old nag is bandaged up and on morphine daily. I was intending to get the new one some time in October but...

I came across this LOVELY new stallion of a horse. I tried out a load of cars on Wednesday and I just loved this one.

It has just about everything I am never going to use on it - like 6 speed gear box (?!?!) and cruise control HAHA!

My stipulations for the new horse were these: Cheap tax, iPod Connection, Diesel, As new as possible, big enough for a growing teenage monster + friends and assorted paraphanalia.

I didnt care what it was, what colour or any of that shit.

This is a Kia Cee'd 2 EcoDynamics which is 6 months old. It's perfect.

The payments are just £225 a month, so I kind of feel like I have got a brand new car AND a reduction in my monthly payments!! I feel quids in :-)

So I signed on the dotted and I pick it up on Friday 31st August - the day after our 15th Wedding Anniversary which I think is just lovely! Its like the best present ever.

I went to tesco after this, and I was just grabbing a few bits when I spotted this lovely dress. I loved it, but I didn't try it on because the changing rooms were closed. I grabbed what I thought looked my size and thought I would just take it back if it looked rubbish.

It looks ACE!

Phil took this with my iPhone and doesn't know how to use the focus, but you get the idea. I love it and I feel like I am starting to get somewhere with this blubber girls!! I feel like sunshine when I wear it... I haven't had that feeling very much in my life. It kind of doesn't matter what I look like to others, but I just feel a billion quid wearing it ya know?

So wearing my new dress and hair I went for an interview for a position as a Music Teacher at the local Academy High School. Its a strange job because I won't actually work there, but in the 'feeder primary schools' giving piano and theory of music tuition to the kids there so that they get the opportunity to take it further in senior schools. I think I will have 2 schools to start with and then that will increase to 4 as I develop the course.

This will be the best job ever because I don't have to drive around the world doing 4 lessons in the time it takes to do 12 - and nor do I have to buy music, enter them for exams or deal with fussy parents!

I got the job! The director of the school said he had decided 20 seconds after meeting me which was such a lovely thing to say!

So I have a LOT of new stuff!

This morning I was given yet another beautiful gift of 104kgs on the scales!!!!!!!!!! That's probably the best gift ever! I am now at the lowest I got with my band before it broke. I am also only 6kgs heavier that both my husband and my lowest weight ever!!!!

The title of my blog has always been Weightloss Expedition, and I think my graph shows the mountains peaks and troughs of that trial. But at the moment, thankfully, I am free falling down the side riding on the waves of an avalanche - hopefully back to base camp and finish this bitch of a journey!!  

I hope you are all having fabulous things happen to you all, and if not then believe that they will happen! My husband said this morning we've had the "For Poorer" and we've had the "For sickness" bit of our vows and now we want the rest :-)

Sunday, 12 August 2012


Nearly killed myself yesterday at the gym. I thought I would have a go at the cross trainer now I have lost a bit of bulge.

I had already done 10 minutes on the treadmill doing my usual random hills at level 9 when i decided this. So I did another 5 minutes to gauge the calorie burn. I burned 46 calories in 5 minutes on the treadmill.

I hopped off and jumped onto a cross trainer. I set it at the lowest level and gave it a whirl. Nightmare. I hate the bloody things. I am sure they are designed by Satan personally for me. Anyway, I was going to do 15 minutes on there, but I pushed myself beyond all my physical strength to do 5!

In 5 minutes on Level 0 (AKA Level 'Sheer Hell') I burned 44 cals.

Bugger that then!!

I went back to the old faithful and did 1 hour on there. I burned 540 in that hour. I had also burned the 44 from the torture machine, and 140 before that so in total it was  724!!!!!!!

Oh man that was the maddest session ever! But, As I had over indulged the previous day by about 200 cals, and I was out to a BBQ that evening, I thought that I should do a bit more.

Its good to make plans, but for future reference, its probably easier to just not eat so much!

Have a good weekend all.

On a happier note, I am shit hot at growing Orchids.

They are so beautiful this year - check em out!

Geoffrey the flower girl... he hates it when we are outside and he's not allowed :-)

Also, This is a photo of a pair of trousers that I LOVE! I cant do them up right now, but I will try them on a regular intervals until I can! I think I wore them when I was at my thinnest, so that will be a great achievement when I can do them up again!!

A couple of months ago I put them away in the drawer because I couldnt actually get them on at all!! So we already have a semi achievement in the fact I can pull em up! LOL

Friday, 10 August 2012


Yes, the 105kgs are here...

I hardly registered that I was in the 106's as they were gone in a flash!

How is that possible that some numbers stick around for ages, but others fly by and you can hardly remember them? Weird.

Anyway, yesterday I was 105.9kgs and today I am safely in the middle at 105.6kgs.

I really hope that they wont be around long either and I could possible be in the 104's by the end of next week.

I am super charged and so excited by the weightloss that I can hardly think of anything else, which is very very VERY good right now.

These are my new gym trainers. They are the ugliest trainers I have ever seen. They are covered in ziggy zaggy flashy blues, silver and blacks all busy busy and horrible. They are Men's too as I am a 9 and you simply cant buy Women's trainers above an 8 in a shop - you need to get them online and I need to try them on right? it just sucks in England if you have amazonian feet and happen to be a woman. (as a side line - it might also be that I live in the back of beyond!)

I would NEVER have bought them in a zillion years had they not been the lightest, lighter than fluffy marshmallow, comfy squidgy soled beauties that they are!!

So, they get to come with me each time I work out and I love them!

I am in good solid gym routine of Monday, Wednesday, Friday and the occasional Saturday. Its working for sure. Since I restarted the gym at the beginning of July I have been shifting a lot more fat from me carcass.

When I am on that treadmill listening to pumping tunes - personally selected for getting me going and that have kind of inspirational words in there too - I visualise myself on holiday at Xmas. I am wearing a red bikini and I don't give a SHIT!

I am just 1 stone heavier than my lowest weight ever and I can freaking smell it baby!!!!!!!!

It seemed a million miles away. I never thought it would be within reach again ever, but here it is... just 8kgs away if that.

We are not just going away at Xmas... there is a small interim goal in 7th October. Mum and Dad have paid for us to go on a 4 day break to Majorca! That's only 8 weeks away, so you never know, I could be at my lowest ever by then!! That would be so awesome.

I don't know if we will see Mum and Dad before we go, so when they next see me I will be a lot slimmer than I was! That will please them as they know I am really trying hard. I am already 3kgs lower than when I saw them last!

But I don't want to get bogged down with thinking too far ahead. Its important for me to have my future image in my head, but not to think to definitively about when that will be.

I think sometimes we focus on the end goal and its too massive to contemplate and then we get disheartened. I thank Linda (my guru) for helping me to see that its a weekly competition with myself... My aim is 1kg and I am stoke if I reach that, and not actually too worried if its only half a kg as it still seems like a massive achievement.

I am driven, and feel empowered to get my goal and slam it home. This is a very very big first in my life as even when I had my band initially all those years ago I never felt like this. It was never me. It was never me physically changing and doing something myself... it was the band doing it in spite of me!

Even when I was at slimmingworld the first couple of years back in 2005... I would eat shit and then wonder why I had gained. Then on weeks where I hadn't eaten so much shit, but still actually eaten shit I would lose... this just baffled me further! I didn't at any time think I had to get it together. I, me, myself, personal. It was just like I was in a bubble being bounced around by my cravings.

Since May my cravings have changed. I crave my new body like I can hardly breathe. I crave how good I will feel being able to do stuff. I crave feeling 'normal' and crave people treating me better.

I am absolutely loving the comments I am getting about losing weight. I have lost over 16kgs now and its starting to show. The first 8 or so where quite slowly won, so no one really noticed but these last 8 have come off in a matter of months and people who haven't seen me since May are like "WOW!" which is the best feeling ever.

I don't even feel like I am on a diet. Its the BEST diet in the world.

I mean look at this stuff!! this was my food the other day...

This is 1500 calories of food.

2 slices of thick white bread with 1 whole sausage of liver and bacon pate.
1 large bowl of salad with watercress, spinach, rocket, lettuce leaves, tomato, onions and avocado.
1 home made salad dressing - 1tbsp olive oil, 1 tbsp honey, 1 tbsp white wine vinegar
1 whole punnet of strawberries (350g the big punnets!) and 150mls of real full fat single cream
2 - yes 2 - Dairy Milk chocolate bars
2 or 3 gin and tonics for the evenings wind down (30ml measures)

Now, seriously does that sound diet to you? I could have had more but I was in a chocolate day so 'spent' 410 calories on chocolate. I could easily had another round of sarnies or another meal!

However... I could NOT NEVER NO HOW think I could have done this (or be doing this) without the band. I dont feel hungry at all and that is the single biggest thing to get me through.

My mother decided to give the Under BMR diet a go and she says although she has lost 6 ponds in so many weeks (and not fat anyway), she is starving all the time. She has to eat 980 a day and is struggling.

I eat 1500 a day and its a breeeeeeeze.

All I wish, and my only regret, is that I didn't cop on to this earlier. Thank You Jonathan Vernon Smith and BBC 3 Counties Radio as I seriously think you saved my life!

And of course, thank you all for sticking by me and listening to 5 years of whingeing on.

Another evening this was my dinner... Pepperoni Pizza Pie, green salad and dressing and a whole punnet of strawberries and a tub of Greek Yoghurt. My 2 shots of gin goes down a treat - even though it does sound worse switching wine for gin... (sounds like a slippery slope right?) but I have slashed my weekly alcohol units beyond belief. Instead of drinking 2 or 3 bottles of wine per week (18-27 units which is above the UK guidelines) I now how 14 or less, which is well within! Brilliant!


Sunday, 5 August 2012


Updated Photos from September 2016

This section has not been updated since January 2013.
I will update this Photo gallery each month. Please bear in mind that I put back on ALL my lost weight PLUS another 21lbs - 1st 7lbs - 9.5kg in the last 3 years.
These photos start with my pre "Band to RNY Bypass" shots weighing 
124kgs - 273lbs - 19stone 7lbs
5th September 2016 - 124kgs

25th September 2016 - 115kgs 
16th October 2016 - 110kgs


N.B - 1.10.2010 - I have decided to re-start this photolog as it did not reflect my journey at all at the present moment in time. The first photo is of my initial surgery on 14th February 2007 and the following 3 photos were taken today, 1st October 2010 - approximately 3 and a half years after then. I am currently 17 pounds heavier than I was when I had my surgery. This however marks the start of my new Journey. Thank you

15th February 2007

Day after Surgery

Weight 18 Stone (252 lbs) 114.3kgs

BELOW: 1st October 2010

BELOW: 10th March 2011

116.7kgs - Down 5kgs

BELOW: 29th MAY 2011 112.9kgs - Down 10kgs

BELOW: 4th August 2012 - 106.2kgs (DOWN 15kgs)
AUGUST NOTES: I am not sure I can see a difference other than the fact that the line of my knickers seems to be now covering my belly button and has gradually krept up over the it through the set of photos... this must mean that my belly is diminishing. I also think my bum looks less sticking out/back less arched so thats good too. My bra is also not cutting into my side so much and the roll of fat on my left hand side looks gone completely... although it looks like I am leaning on my right leg although I was unaware of this... My legs look a little less doughy too... I dunno. roll on the next few shots - that will be at 20kgs down - 102kgs! Note to self... DH must stand level with the dining room wall!

BELOW: 18th January 2013 - 96.6kgs (DOWN 25kgs)

Thursday, 2 August 2012


I am going through an unbelievable amount of personal stress right now, and I just wanted to tell the world that I am proud of myself for not falling off the wagon and plunging head first into a swimmingpool of junk foods!

Trust me it's been hard.

I may or may not share the issue that we are dealing with... its the worst thing a mother could face to be honest so possibly not. Not until I am sure its ok again... if it will ever be.

But this week I lost 2 pounds bringing me to 106.5kgs which is awesome. I am still with the programme.

Sorry for the previous repost of my weight record, but as I update it and it was published in 2007 I thought I would refresh it.

Peace, love and hug your kids hard x

Wednesday, 1 August 2012


This is a record of my weightloss since beginning my Weightloss Expedition in 2005 when I weighed in at Slimmingworld at 18 stone 12 and a half pounds (264.5lbs).
I was banded in February 2007 weighing 18 stone (252lbs) exactly.

For several reasons my band journey needed restarting. 
I restarted my Gastric Band Journey on 1st October 2010 weighing 
19stone 3lbs - 269lbs - 122kgs  
I now weigh:

17 JANUARY 2013 - 96.6kgs (15 stone 3lbs or 213lbs)

07 SEPTEMBER 2012 - 102.3kgs (16 stone 1.5lbs or 225.5lbs)

01 AUGUST 2012 - 106.5kgs (16 stone 11 or  235lbs)

24 MAY 12 - 111.6kgs

1 MAY 2012 - 115.7 Re-Joined slimmingworld for accountability after radio show.
04 MARCH 2012 - 112.8kgs
01 OCTOBER 2011 - 111.0kgs
29 MAY 2011 - 112.9kgs
10 MAY 2011 - 113.3kgs
1 MAY 2011 - 114.9kgs
  • 23/4/11 Fill #21 ~ FILL 0.2ml inserted by Jane Wilkinson-Tancock www.gastricbandfill.com (6.5ml in 10ml band)
23 APRIL 2011 - 115.9kgs
1 APRIL 2011 - 115.5kgs
1 MARCH 2011 - 117.4kgs
1 FEBRUARY 2011 - 117.8kgs - I only weighed in because its the 1st of the month but YAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!
31 JANUARY 2011 - 118.4 kgs

  • 30 JAN 2011 Fill # 20 ~ UNFILL - 0.2ml removed by Jane Wilkinson-Tancock www.gastricbandfill.com (6.3ml in 10ml band)
  • 29 JAN 2011 Fill # 19 ~ FILL 0.5ml inserted by Jane Wilkinson-Tancock www.gastricbandfill.com (6.5ml in 10ml band)
26 JANUARY 2011 - 119.0 kgs
24 JANUARY 2011 - 119.5kgs
12 JANUARY 2011 - 120.0.kgs
15 DECEMBER 2010 - 119.2kgs
15 NOVEMBER 2010 - 118.1kgs
21 OCTOBER 2010 - 118.4kgs
19 OCTOBER 2010 - 118.7kgs
08 OCTOBER 2010 - 119.2kgs  Down 2.8kg!!!!!!!!!!!
01 OCTOBER 2010 - 122kgs - 5mls in my band.
  • 26 JULY 2010 Fill # 17 - Emergency UNFILL 1ml removed by Jane Wilkinson-Tancock www.gastricbandfill.com (5mls in band)
  • 24 JULY 2010 Fill #16 - 3mls inserted by Jane Wilkinson-Tancock www.gastricbandfill.com. Fluid was measured and with the fill I now have 6mls in my band meaning more had been lost during bad fill in January 2009 than previously thought. 
24 JULY 2010 18 stone 12lbs (264lbs)
01 JULY 2010 18 stone (252lbs)
05 MAY 2010  17 stone 9lbs (247lbs)
08 APRIL 2010 17 stone 6lb (242lbs)
  • 3 APRIL 2010 Fill #15 UNFILL 3ml removed by Jane Wilkinson-Tancock www.gastricbandfill.com (4ml in 10ml band) Total rest of Band from 1/6/2010 until 14/11/10 (for future reference should I need it, 5mls in my band = no restriction)
14 DECEMBER 2009 16 stone 8lb (232lbs)
30 NOVEMBER 2009 16 stone 11lb (235lbs)
21 SEPTEMBER 2009 16 stone 13lb (237lbs)
  • 20 SEP 2009 Fill #13 0.5ml added by Wendy @ Weightloss Surgery Group - Total in Band 7.5mls
22 JUNE 2009 17 stone 1lb (239lbs)
  • 21 JUNE 2009 Fill #12 0.2ml added by Wendy @ Weightloss Surgery Group Total in Band 7mls
08 JUNE 2009 17 stone 8.5lbs
20 MAY 2009 17 stone 0.5lbs
14 FEBUARY 2009 16 stone 4
  • 14 FEB 2009 FILL#11 UNFILL by Wendy @ WLSgroup - remove 0.7ml by Wendy @ Weightloss Surgery Group (total in band 6.8ml)
02 FEBRUARY 2009 16 stone 6
  • 01 FEB 2009 FILL #10 by Wendy @ WLSGroup - 0.5ml (total in band 7.5)
18 JANUARY 2009 16 stone 9 Total loss 31.5lbs
  • 18 JANUARY 2009 FILL #9 by Wendy @ WLSgroup - 0.5ml (total in band 7mls as some loss due to bad fill  with a lot running down over my tummy)
15 DECEMBER 2008 16 stone 6
05 OCTOBER 2008 16 stone 8
  • 05 OCTOBER 2008 Fill #8 by Wendy @ WLSgroup - 0.7mls (total in Band 7mls)
07 SEPTEMBER 2008 16 stone 2
  • 07 SEPTEMBER 2008 Fill #7 by Wendy @ WLSGroup - 0.3mls (Total in band 6.3ml)
24 AUGUST 2008 15 stone 12
  • 24 AUGUST 2008 Fill #6 by Wendy @ WLS group - 0.5mls (Total in band 6mls)
10 AUGUST 2008 15 stone 8
  • 10 AUGUST 2008 Fill #5 UNFILL by Wendy @ Weightloss Surgery Group - 1ml Removed (Total in band 5.5ml) BIG MISTAKE!!!!!!!!! For future reference, what I needed was advice on smaller portions, not to force myself to eat and about 0.2 out to settle my band.
23 JUNE 2008 15 stone 9
19 JUNE 2008 15 stone 11 (hol weight gain in Malta 5lbs)
19 MAY 2008 15 stone 6
16 MAY 2008 15 stone 7
12 MAY 2008 15 stone 10
21 APRIL 2008 15 stone 12
14 APRIL 2008 15 stone 13 and 1/2
11 APRIL 2008 16 stone 1
  • 5 APRIL 2008 FILL #4 WLSgroup Harley Street, 0.5ml (6.6ml total)
22 MARCH 2008 16 stone 2
*****UNDER 16 stone 3******

20 MARCH 2008 16 stone 4

07 MARCH 2008 16 stone 5

03 MARCH 2008 16 stone 8

25 FEBRUARY 2008 16 stone 11

18 FEBRUARY 2008 16 stone 12.5

15 FEBRUARY 2008 16 stone 13

11 FEBRUARY 2008 17 stone 3

  • 10 FEB 2008 FILL #3 Weighloss Surgery Group - London 1.0 ml (6.1ml total)

30 JANUARY 2008 17 stone 4

14 JANUARY 2008 17 stone 4

  • 13 JAN 2008 FILL #2 Weightloss Surgery Group - London 0.6ml (5.1ml total)
07 JAN 2008 17 stone 7

12 DECEMBER 2007 17 stone 5

28 NOVEMBER 2007 16 stone 9

21 NOVEMBER 2007 17 stone 4

15 NOVEMBER 2007 17 stone 3.5

14 NOVEMBER 2007 17 stone 6.5

12 NOVEMBER 2007 17 stone 5.5
  • 9 NOV 2007 SURGERY #2 Correct Disconnected port
  • 9 NOV 2007 FILL #1 (during theatre) Dr. Dillemans - Brugge 4.0ml (4.0ml total)
7 NOVEMBER 2007 17 stone 12

31 OCTOBER 2007 17 stone 9

23 OCTOBER 2007 17 stone 5.5

25 SEPTEMBER 2007 17 stone 3.5

18 SEPTEMBER 2007 17 stone 5

11 SEPTEMBER 2007 17 stone 6.5

7 SEPTEMBER 2007 17 stone 9.5

29 AUGUST 2007 17 stone 11

24 JULY 2007 16 stone 11

16 JULY 2007 16 stone 13.5

18 JUNE 2007 16 stone 6


16 MAY 2007 16 stone 3

14 MAY 2007 16 stone 6

8 MAY 2007 16 stone 4.5

30 APRIL 2007 16 stone 4.5

23 APRIL 2007 16 stone 8

16 APRIL 2007 16 stone 6.5

9 APRIL 2007 16 stone 7.5

2 APRIL 2007 16 stone 8

26 MARCH 2007 16 stone 9.5

19 MARCH 2007 16 stone 10.5

5 MARCH 2007 16 stone 13

26 FENRUARY 2007 17 stone

19 FEBRUARY 2007 17 stone 5.5


5 FEBRUARY 2007 17 stone 11.5

Saturday, 28 July 2012

Stable... Neigh

I have had a bad couple of weeks and feeling a little bit annoyed with myself. In some cases I couldn't have changed anything... in others I could have made smarter choices...

I was 107.4kgs this morning (in full menstrual mode too so I guess that's a result!) and a bit peeved.

We have had a couple of big events where staying in a hotel with no facilities to cook/cater for ourselves have occurred, and last week my weight stayed the same... however, considering everything I am surprised I stayed the same weight!

We had my Mum and Dad up for a few days and although it would have been easy to stick to plan, there were temptations and things happened and we went out and other stuff that gets in the way and sticking to your guns is harder. This is where my will power let me down. I caved too easily.

Then we went to a convention about an hour away and stayed in a hotel for 4 days... No fridge, so shopping each day, packed lunches, naughty evening treats, bar meals... etc etc  :-(

I find packed lunches and conferences really hard. Packed lunches are normally a torture for me. Sitting in a football stadium seat from 8:30 in the morning until 12 noon and then having to eat a packed lunch? Nightmare.

What usually happens at lunch when we go to these conventions is that I sit looking at everyone eating around me, smelling foods, hearing the much and the crunch and the joy in others hearts whilst I sit looking at my packed lunch with a glurp of stuck food in my gullet and not being able to up-chuck as the bogs are too far away.

I dunno about all of you but when I have been sitting down for a long time I find it difficult to eat/drink immediately. I need to go for a mooch and then have a slow sip of hot tea or something to shoot through the collected sticky juices that I seem to have settling in my pouch.

So with a numb backside from chairs that are not designed to be used in my opinion, I had a wander and then came back to my lunch. The tea goes down easy and then strangely the food does too!! Wonder of wonders. I got my pack lunch from Tesco... Olives in a sealed pot. A waldorf-esque salad in a pre sealed pot (creamy mayo with celery, raisins, nuts and other stuff), jaffa cake roll and a pecan Danish pastry.

Now, I was being seriously over ambitious, and thought that I would only manage the Waldorf-esque salad but I polished the lot off! I couldn't believe it. I had quite thought that DS would be eating it all as I never get through much in the Stadium as lunch is a short break, but they gave us 2 hours so it worked a treat.

But... why is it when I see a wall saying "This is gunna be difficult!" I think "This is impossible might as well give in to my desires and blame impossibility!"

Ah well... so back at the hotel we ate in the restaurant. The next day I chose salmon and cream cheese sarnies - not too bad a choice - and cakes and other crud. Ooops. All went down a treat. Then when we came home we followed up with a big fat Chinese take away.


BUT whereas before I would have caved completely and written the week off I went to the gym on Sunday when we got back and busted my ass out of 500cals. Then I went Monday and did the same too. The previous week I had done 3 sessions and when I got on the scales at Slimmingworld I had stayed the same.

The freaking biggest sigh of relief ever!

This week though... Tuesday was a good day. On track, On plan and A OK.

Wednesday I went to the gym for a 450 cals burn up and the evening meal was Duck Goujons in Red wine, 5 spice and Rosemary Sauce, new potatoes and green beans. There was also a bottle of red involved. We were saying goodbye to our lodger Mark who is awesome and we are going to miss royally, so I cooked up a storm. However, I had not eaten a thing all day, so I was ok.

Thursday was a good day too.

Yesterday (Friday) was a Chinese takeaway. :-(

I had gone to a small village near Stratford to take DS to see a mate from his school. 95 miles. Then when I dropped him off, I went to Hockley in Birmingham to smelt some gold and then kill a few hours looking at bling in the Jewellery Quarter :-) 42 miles. I then found the Museum of the Jewellery Quarter where you get a guided tour around a really old fashioned jewellery manufacturers.

The museum is awesome. I don't know how many times I have been to the quarter and never seen it! The factory closed in 1981, but the company had never moved with the times - the secretary had been working there since the 40's and never got up to speed with new things, and neither had any of the bosses etc so it was all really old fashioned - just like a 30's/40's office and workshop - even older really as it opened in the 19th century. In the files they had on the shelves there were invoices from 1890!!  They shut up in 1981 and literally walked away leaving everything standing as it was. Even cups of tea half full (obviously all dried out!) and sugar in the bowl and plants etc. So it was collated and catalogued. Something like 30,000 articles were catalogued and then it was opened as a museum.


So then I drove back to Stratford to get DS and his the traffic to Global Gathering. SIGHHHHHH!!!!
I back tracked and went another route as Stratford was shut down entirely according to twitter. God bless twitter man!!! so I drove for another 40 minutes around the houses and then got to DS. 56 miles. And we came home. Another 90 odd miles.

I left at 7am and arrived back at 7pm. I hadn't eaten all day and DH was angling for something spicy so I had a shower and told him to order dinner. I could have easily got some fish fingers out of the freezer or made a quick salad or something but I revert to type so easily.

Oh well... At least I haven't gone up in weight. I just wish I had utilised these weeks better rather than lose ground in the battle. I have lost 2 weeks from my schedule to be a fit skinny beast by christmas so I need to up the anti!

I am going to go to the gym every day this week and see what happens. Starting today!!! 

Monday, 9 July 2012

Downward ho.

This morning I was 107.3kgs (236.5lbs - 16 stone 12 & a half)

When I went on the radio on 1st May I weighed 115.7 (255lbs  or 18 stone 3)

Just  10 weeks later I am 8.4kgs lighter!!! (18.5lbs or 1 stone 4 & a half)


It's going really well, I am feeling happier and I think even taking more care of myself even though it is a bit of a slog.

I am still logging every single morsel that passes my lips on livestrong.com and that makes staying in control very easy.

I always try and meet my daily calorie goal of (at the moment) 1500 cals and if I come in under this then I top it up with chocolate.

I have very rarely gone over the limit and when I have, I have stayed below my resting metabolic rate of 1947cals.

Here are some meals:

Minted lamb kebabs with curried rice, beans and peppers

One of my lunch options:
Tuna and mayo sandwich with BBQ rice cake, Mint chocolate biscuit and some olives

Surimi (fish stick) Salad with cocktail sauce

Just delicious. I must admit it's not hard to do, I'm not hungry because the band helps out with that and although I do fancy a Chinese or a curry now and again, it's meant our food budget for the week has gone down dramatically by not ordering dinner.

I think we have had Chinese twice and Indian twice in those 10 weeks. Not bad when I was a 4 time a week take out girl!!!
I have also re activated my gym membership which is £20 a month for off peak membership. I think that is amazing value and I go three times a week and work out for an hour. I set the treadmill to 'random hills' so it goes up and down all the time and varies from hard to totally fine throughout the workout and it switches off after I have done 450 calories which mainly turns out to be roughly 50 minutes each time.

I think I have lost more weight this week that any previous week because of it. We shall see as I go to slimmingworld tomorrow for weigh in.

I cant think what to make for dinner tonight, but I am thinking a salad of some kind as I had a tuna sandwich for lunch. It's my new favourite... 1 can of tuna, loads of extra low fat mayo, vinegar to make it all wet and gooey and ALL stuffed in 2 thick slices of bread for 450 calories followed with a light alpen bar. Yum.

If I have a salad it means I can partake of an enormous 125g bar of Cadburys Dairy Milk and still be within my calorie goal for the day... that's with a couple of gin and tonics too :-)

Love it!