Monday, 30 January 2012

low carb... again?

Well I have begun to low carb for a bit. My Lap Band fill lady - the lovely Jane - challenged me to low carb with her. She had a band years ago and has recently had a bypass from our surgeon Dr. Dillemans.

So together, as we kind of think in the same strange way, we are going to give low carb living a go.

Last night I cooked a Thai style curry - The whole thing had about 35g of carbs in  and divided by 5 that was pretty great. The boys had their curry on Tagliatelle but I didn't have anything with mine which was just fine by me as it was really filling. Even though I didn't have any, I do love tagliatelle with Thai curry... it really makes it much more interesting and I find rice gets too bloating anyway.

So roundup of the week so far:

Planted 2 Oriental Hawthorn trees and 2 Weigela bushes next to the fence in the garden to stop the nosey old bag next door poking her nose into our garden. She is such a busy body. She also sings to herself and it's awful when you are in the garden reading... engrossed in your own time and space and you hear laaaadeee deee deee dummm de deeee coming from behind the fence in a warbling old biddy 1930's style sing song out of tune voice (think "When I'm calling Yooooooooo oooooooooo ooooooooh!" - you know, the singing that made the aliens heads explode on Mars Attacks!).

She does this singing bit to announce her presence in your time and space and then then pops her head over the fence and starts chatting at you about nothing. Well she wont now, cos in the summer there will be leaves covering the WHOLE of the fence area. It was worth £100 a tree to make sure they were big and broad enough to keep her ugly mug out. Hurrah!

Charlotte is moving out, currently spreading the agony over 3 or 4 days. She has got practically everything out of the room now, just the last few bits and bobs to go. It's like the end of an era. she has been here for nearly 3 years and we love her to pieces. She isn't moving far away, only to another house in the village with her sister, so we will see her about from time to time I am sure. When she lost her job that made her more money than us collectively, she really felt the pinch and it's been hard for her this last year to afford her car payments and rent etc. The last few months have been late and she still owes me £30 from last months rent. So her sister offered her her old room back in the family home (long story - hated her mum & step dad, moved out at 16 and couch surfed for couple of years, got own place, too hard to manage on own, moved in with us) as her mother no longer lives there. So she has a bigger room for all her stuff and it's less rent etc. Plus she loves her sister to death so it will be lovely for her really.

We will really miss her, but that's life.

Next weekend we have K moving in. She is moving into the double room, and M who is currently in the double room is moving into Charlotte's old room. We have brand new furniture and have to totally redecorate as it was horrendous! For nearly 3 years the carpet has been preserved under 8 inches of clothes, shoes and handbags, but the walls bear the tell take marks of make up and fake tan applications of a near daily basis.

This year we have had a tumultuous lodger situation.

When Al (the mad German scientist) left we got S(38yrs). He was here for about 10 weeks and then fell in love and left to live with her in Lincoln.
Then B(23yrs) reserved the room for a September move in date which left the room empty for about 8 weeks.
Between S moving out and B moving in, we had 'Mario & Luigi' (23yrs & 51yrs) the Plumbers from Newcastle. They were the skanky ones who made me have to throw out an actual BED when they left.

I instigated their departure after 6 weeks and had 2 weeks with it vacant and my mum and dad came up for a bit. Then when B moved in everything was cool. then she lost her job.

B moved out and C(19yrs) moved in. C did a moonlight flit. Told us she was going away with work for 10 days, and had I not had to go in her room to get something from the storage cupboard, would have been none the wiser for ages! Her room was totally empty. She had paid up and I was even holding £100 deposit but she never bothered to tell us she was going, and I haven't heard from her since. I know she is alive as (although not her friend) I can see her profile pic on facebook has changed!

Then after C buggered off, we got S(36yrs). S was great and worked locally. We went on holiday to Lanzarote on xmas day leaving him and Charlotte in the house and we came home and everything was hunky dory. The Monday after we got home, we noticed S was still in his room when he should have been at work. He was avoiding us a little bit and slept through dinner. Was still in his room Tuesday and then when I went out, he left. Took all his stuff and buggered off too!!!

I couldn't believe it! 2 in a row!!! I text him and he said he had also lost his job and couldn't face telling me, but thanked me for having him and making him welcome, which is more than I got from C!

Then M moved into the room. He is having a trial separation. He might be here a week, or a year we have no idea. Really nice guy and we are just playing it week to week. The reason he is being demoted to the single room is purely that before M came to look at the room K booked it from 4th Feb. He gets to have a nice new room through which is always nice I think.

I haven't decided what colours I am going with yet, but I am thinking a warm cream colour. I have to buy all new linen as Charlotte never cleaned her room, or washed her linen in 3 years and I just threw it all out. Young women these days can be so utterly gross. They look amazing when they go out, all neat and lovely, but their rooms are actual health hazards. Lets just say - I don't need to go and buy and cups plates or mugs this year as I have suddenly gained back all the ones I thought must have broken. Oh and I found most of my cutlery set from my wedding in there too welded to plates from long ago eaten (and in some cases no eaten) dinners. Seriously skanky!

Anyway, it's all change and it will be nice to have a fresh start again. However, but the law of averages... hopefully we will have some nice longer term lodgers for a bit. I hate breaking in new lodgers! Hosting 9 different lodgers in one year is just pants!

remember to have a read about the teenage me on my other blog

Tuesday, 24 January 2012

Thanks guys!

Thanks Caroline and Tina. I love you both. I can't seem to view comments or post comments either, so I have to write my thank you's here. And as for the band tightness etc, yeah I think everything is ok. I have had this particular fill since April 2011. I was a little higher in April and it's been pretty much like that since then. I am never hungry at all which is good, and I can eat stuff carefully and I get the full feeling too so I think it's actually pretty damn near perfect sweet spot which is scarily wierd to say out loud!!

What I think the problems are:
too many cup-a-soups
take away food
holiday for 2 weeks!!

However, I gave up work YAYAYAYAYAY about 12th December as it was just too much. We were pretty much living on take out or quick meals as I was totally and utterly knackered on a daily basis. As I havent been blogging for some months, theres a lot of stuff you guys dont know about. Anyway, I was ill for a long time through October and November and then at a hospital appointment early December I was given a blow and a set back re my Lupus and other issues with my foot etc... I broke down when I got home and told DH that enough was enough and he could work 3 freaking jobs if thats what it took but I was finished. He took it pretty well and we rang up my pupils that day and said that was it. I had a few going through exams which took me up until 12th December and then I worked the next 10 days in our shop and ran errands every which way here and there until we went to Lanzarote.

Then we chilled out and calmed down and get to grips with stuff. Since we have been back, which is nearly 2 and a half weeks, I have been cooking each day, keeping on top of the housework and generally feeling better.

The first week we were back was pretty hectic as while we were away the Sky Tv broke, the fence blew down, one of our lodgers (the second one in 2 months) did a bunk, our other lodger who has been here 3 years who we love to death gave her notice that she was moving in with her sister as they had got a place together sorted and our dog had his paw torn apart in the kennels he had been staying at which thrice weekly trips to the vets and 8 times in the first 10 days we were home!

But, I managed. I coped and held it together even though it was flaming pandemonium. This week has been so much more relaxed, even though DS has been sick with either Campylobacter. They think the latter as none of us have started puking or crapping ourselves - thank heavens!

As everything has been on a pretty even keel. Not working means I can take my timeto do my wifely domesticated bit, and also I am not shattered in the evening and can cook for the family, which is a big relief on the purse strings, and also on our bowels no doubt.

The fact that DS might have food poisoning does not mean my meals are kak though as everyone ate them and he's the only one who is ill!! HAHAH

Monday, 23 January 2012

Post to help me get this thing together

It's the nearest I can get to writing in blood!

I have got to be honest, I think I am the only person in the world that the lap band hasn't helped. I know that statement isn't true don't worry... but it is exactly how I feel. I can't read peoples blogs about how well they have done as it just highlights how I haven't.

I know that this probably alienates me because I am sure no one wants to read this crap about me whining on about being so hard done by.

Then I think, well hey! If I can't read others blogs because they show me up/tick me off with their amazing weightloss, then why the heck should they read mine and help me when I can't have the grace to help them??

Geez what a stupid swine I am.

I guess I just have to blog like no ones reading, and get on with it.

BUT I do need help.

I am a seasoned bandit, one who knows all the tricks, one who will cut corners, one who cannot stick to jack. I don't need advice about drinking before, not during. I don't need advice on not eating too many slider foods. Heck I don't need advice period!

I need support. I need a cheering squad and encouragement to keep going.

My bandiversary is on 14th February.  FIVE YEARS.

I am 1.2kgs lighter than when I was banded. That just makes me want to die.

I have good restriction bordering on the tightrope of too tight (esp. if I gain weight around my period etc.)

I just need to get with some kind of programme.

I have started endless diets (pre banding and banded), endless lists, endless fads and charts etc... I can't stick to it.

How do people stick to something. How do they get so driven, so motivated? I just can't seem to do that.

I also don't understand why when I was first banded (before it broke) I was eating all kinds of stuff and losing weight hand over fist. I had dropped 2 stone in a couple of months and it felt magic. I have only had that feeling one other time with the band and I am struggling to remember what it was like.

I am gutted my band broke and ever since that time I have felt cheated, messed up, waiting for it to fail. It's like I need band therapy or something.

I just want to be in a place where this is normal life, feel healthier and be slimmer. BUT... I can't seem to stick to a regime, even though this is exactly what I want. How do I make myself - or how did YOU make yourself - stick to the plan 100% until I achieve something like that?

I feel weak. I give in to temptation and days slip into weeks and nothing has happened. I have very very gradually gained 2kgs from my low of 111kgs (since I started in earnest again in Oct 2010 at 122kgs)

Yeah ok I have been on an all inclusive holiday and stuff in between my last weigh in and today, so 2kgs is pretty much nothing, but I want to get lower. I need a boost and I need one now.

Does anyone have a quick burst of something that helps them lose a few pound to kick start their motivation? I am thinking home made soups, lots of veggies and green tea kind of like a detox or something... what do you think? Maybe a week of that will give me some movement on the scales and coupling that with getting back to the gym will get me moving.

I looooove soup and I love cooking. I feel stodgy, podgy and chogged up all over and I don't want to feel this way.

I should use my KiFit from today again and get moving.

Ok, what I might do is try and blog a short post about my day - diary style and see if that helps.
What I also might do is get my teenage diary out that I wrote when I was 15 -19 (every day!!!) and start my blog of the day entry with a snippet of the teenage THIN Bunny to get me going.

I am 35 now, so that was exactly 20 years ago. Mmmm interesting. That might be quite a cool idea. Use my blog as a different way of communicating, rather than just ranting, as I don't like the tone this blog has got really. Its too emotive and desperate and needy and boring and whinge-y.

Even I am fed up with hearing about myself!!

Ok... the 15 year old me's diary entries...

This is going to be difficult because looking through it, I didn't religiously write it for the first year. I was a little bit sketchy... for instance 23rd January 1992 (20 yrs ago today) I didn't write anything. Hmmm.

Ok, I counted up and there are only 139 entries from 1st January 1991 - April 11th 1992.

so, I am going to write a new post with several entries one after the other to give you a little taster. some of them are well funny. I will have to elaborate on some as obviously the background is key!

It wont be until April 11th that I will be able to post date by date entries... so to whet your appetite, here is the first Diary Entry:

January 4 1992 (aged 14)
I wrote a book called 'And Death Did Us Part'. It is good. It is about a boy who shoots his brother with an arrow and is sent away when he dies. Then his family come into trouble, so to find out what happens.....

This is exactly what I wrote. even the five dots at the end!! HAHA

So watch out for 'Dear Diary' at the beginning of each new blog post!