Wednesday, 12 July 2006
It means that I have lost 6 lb since getting back from holiday 3 weeks ago. I got rid of my 5 and a half pounds of holiday fat PLUS another half a pound!!! Wicked. I am pleased with myself. I have really been able to get positive about the diet at the new class. I am looking forward to next week, even though I have the District Assembly to go to where we are Camping and I might find it difficult to eat "on plan". I am just gonna try my best. I have been good up to it, so hopefully as I know its comign up, I have done enough to still lose this week.
They have this saying at fat club
"We dont plan to fail, we simply fail to plan"
So a plan will be made tomorrow and I will stick to it. I really am on the fast track to bint-ness now!
Thursday, 6 July 2006
I went to the new class. It was great. The consultant is really nice and very relaxed and honest. I dont feel like she is just after my money like the other one. She really got on my goat.
Anyway, I have stayed focused and positive this week so that I will hopefully have more of a show on the scales next week.
Its been unbearably hot this week. I am sweating whilst writing this post. Its not the temperature per se, but the HUMIDITY! Its just awful. My glasses are slipping down my nose, its so gross! I washed my hair and dried it all nice... what for I dont know as its all sticky again. Yuk.
Hopefully Walking and working in this heat will help shift the pounds, and i will see a nice result next week.
Tuesday, 27 June 2006
Anyway, this week I lost....... 3 pounds!
Wooo hooo. This means I now weigh 17 stone 1 and a half pounds. I am well chuffed. I hope to lose next week too and it would be really fabulous if I was able to lose the 2 and a half pounds from my whole holiday weight gain, but I am actually not bothered if I dont. I would definately like to have lost though, and I will be annoyed if I have only lose half a pound or 1 pound or something.
I have not been so good this week. I have done a lot of walking and biking though because I now have a new bike. I also went to play badminton and did much more than usual. I bought a new bike as I thought it would help me and it definately has. I rode 6 miles last wednesday and then went to play badminton in the evening!!! WOW.
I have decided to change our slimmingworld class though. I am fed up with the consultant raising her eyes to heaven and being so bossy and rude to people. We will now go to another class which is not so close, but still nearby.
Anyway, watch this space for Monday's weight loss as I will now be goign on mondays.
Tuesday, 20 June 2006
Now remember, last year I put on 12lbs. I was a little worried, because I had eaten the same amount, if not more to be honest, this year!!! I certainly didnt worry too much about counting sins or having free food. The only exception being that I did try to eat fruit when I was peckish, but we ate out 4 times at an all you can eat buffet (MMMMMMmmmmmmm!) and had 3 macdonalds meals! Wine every day, for breakfast daily I had 3 pain aux chocolat.... etc etc.
So I was thrilled to find I had only put on 5 and a half pounds!! So after my holiday blow out I now weigh 17 stone 4 and a half pounds. This is great news for me. I feel motivated and happy to get cracking. I am over the moon that its not goign to take a long slog to get rid of my holiday weight.
Tuesday, 25 April 2006
I lost another half a pound this week. I am pleased with that actually, even though I would have loved to have lost more.
I am feeling a little bit down this week though. I really think I am going to put on this week, and because I am already thinking that, it means that I am eating to comfort myself. WHY DO WE DO THIS!!!! This is like self sabotage. Someone somewhere must analyse the psychology of this crazy mind set. What is it that makes us fat people who are battling the bulge think this way. They (my collegues at slimmingworld) all understand what I mean, but my thin friends totally dont get it. And i actually dont want to feel like this but I simply cannot help myself!!!! TRAGIC.
Anyway, I will try and get myself together so that I can lose this week too. I only have 6 weeks before we go to France and I would love to have lost 3 stone by then (but i SERIOUSLY doubt thats going to happen![you see.... there we go again, always underestimating myself. its like if i say it is really unlikely, when it doesnt happen i dont get hurt any more. I should really learn to aim a bit higher, and not worry about the fall!])
So I now weigh 16st 8 and a half lbs. I have now lost 2 stone and 4lbs.
3 more pounds and I will have lost 2 and a half stone. So only 10 more pounds until I reach my goal for the holiday of 3 stone. That will actually be 3 stone in one year, because when I came back from France at the same time last year I was back up to my original weight for when I started the diet!! Grrrrr. So its nice. I remember saying on holiday to my 35 stone freind and his 9 stone wife (wow man... thats gotta hurt!) that this time next year I would be a lot thinner. Well I am getting there!!!
I am also about to buy a colonic board. A freind of mine bought it about 5 years ago and after being hauled halfway across the world it has sat in her loft unused. She is selling it to me as I have seen these mega gross out photos of what colonic irrigation gets rid of. It is unreal!! I do not want that plaque blocking up my vital organs. Its got to be bad for you. So I am having a colonic at a clinic nearby for £75 initial conflab and cleanse (my words not theirs!!) and then i will do the others at home. I would normally have a go on my own, but I want to get them to do it first so I know what goes on and what it should be like so that I can be more sure of myself when I do it in my bathroom. This colonic board is really good! Its really amazing. You get a chair in the bathroom and lie it on the toilet and chair and then you hop on. You let gravity filter 10 GALLONS of water into your bum and then wait for the fun to start!!! LOL Its not like an enema. This gets right up there into the center of the earth. I am really looking forward to it.
I will check in again soon people, and let you know how the colon cleansing goes. Apparently, it also helps your headaches, back aches etc etc. Clears skin and oh... did I mention lose weight? Hee Hee Hee Hee Hee
Tuesday, 18 April 2006
Anyway, feel good about the weight loss, even though I have not been a saint! I have had chinese because me and my hubby celebrated our meeting 10 years ago! I also went to France for the day and had salami danois and french bread, wine and a couple of chocolate brioche! So i am very pleased with 2lbs off. I simply cannot understand that I have lost less than this through following the diet completely. I am not goign to complain though. If it works, then great, at least I know that I can have treats when I want them and still lose.
Anyway, thats all folks. I will be having another session of accupuncture on saturday and hopefully that will keep me on track too!
Tuesday, 11 April 2006
Last week I ate for England, and put on 1 lb. I was not happy with myself as you know, but I was still not too bothered to be honest. I think I thought that this week I would play catch up and put on loads of weight. I thought “right, I will get back on track” but actually didn’t. I went to my acupuncture on Saturday and she did some new needling in different places (elbow and a few more on legs than usual) and she also left some studs in my ears… 3 of them… that I am supposed to massage when I feel the urge to nibble. She said they do the trick, and for £30 a session I will try anything!! I don’t think I really thought that they would work too well, but I went to the weigh in today. It was all messed up as someone had double booked the hall and it was all squeezed into a little box of a room…. Anyway, I weighted in and I had lost half a pound. This REALLY is incredible!!!!!!!!!! I am honestly so amazed with acupuncture. I cannot believe I can eat what I did this week and LOSE weight. I thought it would be a miracle if I stayed the same let alone lose! I have been more careful this week…. I have not been a saint, but I have had about half of the weeks meals as diet meals I think. It made it easier having L & M over a few times and going to theirs a few times too, but I have had Chinese 2 times and fish and chips and also a couple of bottles of wine. I really thought I was going to cop it this week and put on about 5lbs so I had a good pig out last night. I had 3 crumpets with real butter, 2 hot cross buns with butter too, 4 slices of fresh crusty bread and butter and Bovril and half of a double chocolate fudge cake, so to lose half a pound after eating all of that is just debilitatingly unbelievable! I also had 2 magnum chocolate ice creams during the day aswell! To top the icing on the cake, I have the painters at home too!!!!! HA HA! How is this working? How can I lose weight like this? I have decided that I really do want to lose this weight, although my food choices for the last 2 weeks have looked as if I want to put it on, its just that I want to lose it eating the same. I know I cant do that. I will give this slimming world diet a full on new fresh start and consider myself as if I am starting a new diet today. I have been good all today. So far today I have had:
4 slices bread for my 2 B options (toasted)
diet flora spread (1 syn)
2 servings rice
1 large serving of Moroccan Vegetable dish (free on a green day) which includes courgette, spinach, tomato, garlic, peppers, quorn pieces, onions and Moroccan spices.
4 cups of coffee (1 A option = milk)
1 litre of water
So I will have a little something tonight, most likely yoghurt and fruit and maybe a glass of wine, but not going over my 10 syns.
What a good girl. If I put on weight next week I shall eat my flippin’ hat!!!!!!
Tuesday, 4 April 2006
I have eaten in excess of:
- 2 fried egg sarnies in oil and butter
- 2 large bars of cadburys dairy milk
- 1 chinese takeaway (Crispy aromatic duck, sweet and sour chicken hong kong style, prawn crackers[1bag!], egg fried rice and a pancake roll)
- 1 bottle of Merlot
- 2 kellogs nutrigrain bars
- 1 packet of apple crisps
- 2 slices of bread with branston pickle
TOTAL 125 SYNS
- beans on toast
- 1 Indian takeaway (prawn puri, prawn dhansak, pilau rice and peshwari naan and mango chutney)
- 1 bottle chilled reisling
TOTAL 90 SYNS
- beans on toast
- 3 pork sausages in onion gravy, mash and peas
- jacket potato and coleslaw
TOTAL 20 SYNS
- 4 slices of bread with salad and saladcreme
- lots of fruit
- 1 pizza (sweetcorn, tuna and jalapeno)
- 2 portions of garlic bread with cheese
- Bottle of red wine
TOTAL 120 SYNS
- sandwich with pickle
- fish and chips
- crusty bread (with real butter!!)
- 2 hot cross buns
- half bottle of merlot
- half a packet of pecan nuts
TOTAL 130 SYNS
- 3 hot cross buns with butter
- spaghetti on toast
- rice dish made with White wine and chicken and pork and olive oil... very lovely so very fattening
- ripe camembert and home made onion bread
- bread an olive oil
- 4 glasses of sweet white wine
- 2 glasses of dry sherry
- 1 glass of whisky and coke
- half a packet of pecans
- 1 muller light
- 1 chocolate nutrigrain bar
- 1 apple
- 4 packets of crisps
TOTAL 160 SYNS
- 3 packets of crisps
- 1 large chocolate egg
- 2 packets of rolo's
- half a loaf of white bread
- rissoto with half a block of butter and 1 pint of white wine, mushrooms, tomato and garlic
- half a bottle white wine
- handful of cashews
TOTAL 160 SYNS
HOW ON THIS EARTH DID I ONLY PUT ON ONE POUND??????
I can be so good and put on half a pound and have 5 takeaway meals and put only 1 pound on. I expected to put on at least 6 pounds. This has really disheartened me!!!! I should feel glad that I have not put much on, but actually I feel really rubbish because I havent.
TOTAL 805 SYNS THIS WEEK!!!! I AM ALLOWED 70.
LAST WEEK I HAD 70 SYNS AND PUT ON HALF A POUND AND THIS WEEK I HAVE OVER 800 AND ONLY PUT ON 1 POUND.
Tuesday, 28 March 2006
Sunday, 26 March 2006
The summer did a lot to knock my enthusiasm. I went up and down and up and down like the proverbial yo-yo. In November I had lost 1 stone 8 pounds in total, so I have only lost 8 and a half pounds since november. 4 and a half pounds of which i have lost in the last 3 weeks!!
I added up all my weightlosses and all my weight gains. I lost 5 stone in total and gained just under 3 in total. I cannot help but think that if I had not gained I would be 5 stone less rather than 2 stone less... its inevitable isnt it? I also cant help thinking that if I hadnt gone to class I would have probably been well over the 20 stone mark by now which is also quite horrifying!
I have tried to regain my motivation, but found myself lacking and so I have had accupuncture to try and help me rebalance my energy (mmmm) and kick start me again. I have had 4 sessions. After the first session I lost 3 lb. After the second I stayed the same. After the third session I lost 1 and a half pounds and I had the fourth session yesterday. I weigh in on tuesday, but I am certain that I have lost again. So accupuncture has done what I alone could not accomplish. I have lost 4 and a half pounds after accupuncutre in 3 weeks, and I know I have lost 4 pounds up until that point since november (3 months!!) So it seems like somethign is changing. I really am still comitted to losing this weight, but I just dont know why. I think i have to get to grips with why I want to lost the weight, because at the moment I dont really have a reason. Personally.
There are lots of reasons why I should lose weight - health and looks being two.... but I actually am not really bothered by either of them. Yes - ok - everyone wants to be healthy, but as a young person, death and health problems from obesity seem like it they happen to other people. Its like its not really going to happen to me. I know I am kidding myself, but surely that is every addicts problem. I dont believe that food will kill me, just like a smoker knows all the statistics stacked up against him! Its wont happen to us.
So i need a better reason than that. I am not particularly bothered about lookign good. I have a husband who cares little what I look like. I was slim when I met him and he loved me then, I am fat and he loves me now. It doesnt seem to matter what shape I am, he just loves me. This in itself is a probelm. There is no real incentive. However, he is in a no win situation, because if he said "you look terrible, get yourself together" I would need up hating him and becomign annoyed and then eat more to comfort myself and stay fat!
So If the guy supported my weightloss, I would kind of like it and not like it. So how the heck can i get myself together and sort this out. I guess I have to want to do it for myself, but I just cant find the energy. I am keeping goign day to day just thinking about the holiday we are due to go on in 10 weeks, but after that.... whats goign to keep me going? I am also really worried that i will put on loads and loads like I did last time I went to France. I know that it completely ruined my motivation to be able to put so much weight on so quickly, and not get it off in the same time.
Sometimes I wonder if I will ever be thin.... and then if I actually get thin, what then. Get fat again? I see this a process with a beginning and an end... but for me I dont think that there will ever be an end. I will perpetually be on "the diet" which is hellish to think about. So when I get to target, i am still going to be saying stuff like "I made this amazing cake with chickpeas and quark and yes... it tastes a bit cooky but you know you really get used to it!" rather than "wow that chocolate sundae was amazing!" This is it for life. I am gonna have to go to that class for the rest of my days because I will never be able to eat what I want ever again. You may think this is extreme but I guarantee its not.
I think I kind of have to look at food as an allergy. If I was allergic to eggs, I would avoid them, so I guess I am just intollerant to fatty foods. Lets face it, if I eat like regular people, i get bigger and bigger. I cannot get away with eating what I want when I want to like the rest of humanity and that bugs the crap out of me.