Saturday, 12 May 2012

Revert to type

Porridge with Golden Syrup... Y U M

This is the ultimate comfort food. It just hits the spot.

When I had the come downs and the low downs and the poor me, this is what I went for. I have no idea how many calories it has in it, but to be truthfully honest it's not a gazillion. It's probably something around the 500 mark. Meh, that's a regular lunch value for a normal person.

I get a bit annoyed with people who are thin thinking that the above is terrible actually. Its just a choice thing. If I worked in an office and took a little lunch bag in with a tuna mayo sandwich, banana, yoghurt, bag of crisps and a penguin I would have eaten more calories than the bowl of possidge above.

I think I had this argument before, like a 1000 calories of chocolate or a 1000 calories of lettuce is STILL 1000 calories... it's just more or les good for you.

Anyway, if you look at just this single meal, it looks loaded with cals, but I didnt have anything else. I didnt eat this AND a sandwich, or a cake, or a bar of chocolate or even have seconds. Thats the thing.

It filled my little heart right up. made my dopamine levels kick in a solved my self loathing.

I want to know what else would have worked.

Now all the above is fine... IF I HADN'T later in the afternoon gone out with the boys to dancing, then gone to get them a McDonalds and ordered this for myself:

Yeah, it took me about 3 hours to eat but I perservered! LOL! I was in a state rememeber? the calories in this? 365 in the Chicken, 330 in the fries, 120 for the sauce! GULP.

Ok, this is 815 calories. For Heavens sake??? How many people would have thought that in all honesty? I would have guessed 700 max, but there we go.

That was all for the day however, and therefore I had in the region of 1400 calories for the day tops.

So, although it was crappy comfort eating, it STILL wasn't more than I should eat. Yes the choices were crap, yes it's not got a load of nutritional value, yes its carb loaded, but heck it was a good day!

I really hope that the radio do still want me on, and I get the help I need. The above shouldnt happen. It's like a binge out. If I was anorexic or bulimic I would be looked on with pity, but its a shame overweight people are seen as social pariah's when this is a mental thing for me. I have battles in my head and talk myself into doing it... its totally irrational, and obviously a serious issue.

I want to get this sorted.

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