Post Traumatic Stress Eating

After the Radio show I felt really weird. I was kind of in a daze and I felt really sad, lost and didn't really know how to go forward.

We took DS to hockey training - he's a goalkeeper now and loving it - and sat in the car park for a while. Then we decided to go to Tesco and get some bits we needed.

I had already eaten a left overs meal from the freezer at about 3pm. It was a pork couscous... I made the couscous with a stock cube in the water, grilled some thinly cut pork strips, red peppers, onions and tossed it all together with hot Cajun spice blend. It was really good.

So when we went to tesco I wasn't particularly hungry, which was a good thing. We decided on chicken Kiev, mash and peas for tea.

I managed 1/2 a chicken Kiev, 1/2 cup of mashed potatoes and a couple of spoons of peas. I drank this with a serious amount of green tea and it still wouldn't go down well. I sicked up half way through, carried on regardless etc.

Now - as you know, as I know - we shouldn't drink with meals. Yes I am fully aware. If I don't drink, I cant eat. If I have fluid out, I get fatter. So we shall leave it that I know this is wrong, am not going to change it, and am just going to try and reduce my calorie intake to compensate until I have the strength to get the fluid removed and go back to a normal life. I am not, and never have been, exactly the normal banded person anyway.

I then had an inordinate amount of dairy milk chocolate and a bottle of wine.

The total calories for this day were: 1801

details here:

Meal	Item Name	Calories	Sugars	Carbs	Fats	Protein	Cholesterol	Sodium	Dietary Fibre
lunch	Couscous, Cooked	176	0.2g	36.5g	0.3g	5.95g	0mg	8mg	2.2g
lunch	Onion	30		6.9g	.1g	.9g		2mg	1.4g
lunch	Pork Tenderloin	143		0g	3g	13g	0mg
lunch	Red Bell Pepper, Raw	30	0g	8g	0g	1g	0mg	0mg	2g
dinner	Chicken Kiev (garlic)	430	0.4g	9.8g	35.1g	18.5g		300mg	1.9g
dinner	Instant Mashed Potato	127	1.5g	24.6g	1.8g	3.1g		600mg	2.0g
dinner	Peas	55	4g	10g	.27g	4g	0mg	81mg	3g
evening snack	Bottle Red Wine	630	5g	21g	0g	.547g	0mg	31mg
evening snack	Dairy Milk Chocolate 230g Bar	530	56.7	57	29.8	7.5	0	23	0.7