Sunday, 12 April 2009

*hanging head in shame*

Hello...

I know its been a long time, and I am so sorry Tina. I kept meaning to post and just didn't get around to it - then it was over a week and then two... you know how it goes.

so, how much has happened in the last few weeks? LOADS.

Right then, the last time I posted Rob was still with us and any day he was going to have his job finish and give us his notice. Well this happened 2 days later. He left us on the Wednesday, and we were actually out. We came home from the cinema to find a bottle of red and a nice note on the table thanking us for having him and making us welcome etc but that he had got his kit together and left that evening. (Oh and Erika - here you can get a great Shiraz for under £4 - bad news for me!)

So this was in fact quite good for us because he left only 3 days into his notice period and that meant that we could get someone in the room immediately. However, the lady who was lined up to take the room had already found somewhere else, but had not bothered telling us.

So, to make the room even more appealing we put a double bed in the room and some pictures and moved it all about and now it looks fabulous.

So we duly advertised the room, and had no takers (for about a week). During this week we went down to my Mum and Dad's to get my car MOT'd and it passed without any problems. groovy. We also went to see my brother in his cobblers shop and DS had a cool time there.


I think DS will have to do his work experience with my brother. They will have a great time. Its funny to think that both Bro and I were only 13 when we started cobbling. I was eased somewhat more gently into the trade being a 'girl' but by the time I was 15 I was mending like a pro. My Bro took my job when I left for college (we go at 16 here in the UK) and was mending on his first day. Now he runs the place. Good eh?

We came home, had some chocolate, wine, take aways and more rubbish and I just could not be bothered to diet in any way shape or form. We were in desperate need of spondoolics as the room was empty and wasting money.

On Saturday 14th March, 10 days after Rob left, we got a call from a lady called Jean. She was from South Africa and said that she had been trawling the net trying to find a room for her friends Danie and Claudine. D&C had apparently come to England to work for 5-10 years and were looking for a flat. She told them they were mad, and all they needed was a room in the general location until they were on their feet, had started jobs and had the capital behind them for the deposit bla bla bla. Both of their sons were in the British Forces, and were on leave trying to help them out. They also said they just needed a room, and Jean told us we sounded ideal.

I told her the room was still available and arranged to pick them up from the station on Monday so they could see the room. I was so desperate to get it filled, and this was the only call I had had in 10 days.

I went to fetch D&C and their two strapping twin lads from the station, and they came and had a look around. They were very pleasant and chatty and seemed like a lovely family. C was very stressed out and you could see she needed a break bless her. She said 'it's like coming home' as we drove up the drive. They told me that they like the room and would let me know that evening.

Not exactly the answer I was looking for, but at least hopeful. I made them a coffee and we sat chatting about stuff for about 15 minutes as the next train didn't leave for a while. It was then that D was telling me about his sister being in the UK and trying to trace their family tree. She hadn't had much luck. Well of course I said that maybe I could help because I had been doing it for years and might have the connections to give them a hand.

He said his family name was very unusual and that it was unlikely that he would find anything, but he wanted to try.

The name is indeed very unusual (and for privacy reasons I am not going to repeat it) and it just happens to be the EXACT same family name as mine. I was B L O W N away. There was all this kind of wide eyed 'no way' kind of stuff going on. I had been looking into that family line for 12 years and his particular family line for 6 and a half with NO SUCCESS. His family had been trying to trace back from South Africa for about 3 years similarly with no luck. So as 'fate' or wahever would have it, my long lost family had walked through my door.

I swear that when I saw the twins, something hit me that I couldn't put my finger on, and when I found this out, that's when I realised that they were like my great grandad exactly. Even in the same regiments.



Obviously my great grandad isn't smiling and hes about 16 when this was taken, but the resemblance is too weird for words.

So guess what... they took the room there and then! HA HA. I know that C was very very relieved and as I drive her to the City for a job interview she said she felt at home here and that it all seemed so divinely organised. It certainly is newspaper worthy I think.

They move in on the Thursday, and the rent crisis was over thank goodness. D didn't start work for about 10 days so we were able to take them around and show them some things about the place. I also took them to Sussex to see their roots and some very memorable things went down. We had a lunch in a pub owned by one of their ancestors kin, and stood on Littlehampton beach where their South African Founding Father had his house and most likely stood in 1840 before he left for South Africa. He owned one of the houses in the seafront row here.

So a very emotive and exiting couple of weeks, and then on Friday 20th March Mary had her kittens. 4 lovely little bundles. It was extraordinary as she was so humongous and only had 4. All of them were fine though, which is what mattered.

As the week progressed we all mentioned the fact that they were very contented and seemed very lovable. they were very handleable and fell asleep in your hands. So delicious!

The situation did not change and, although they were gaining weight and feeding well and looking scrumptious, they didn't move. They didn't hold themselves up or wander about.

Yesterday I took them to the vet because I was very concerned that at 3 weeks old they could not walk. they lie in the basket and only move around to get to the teat, which is usually about 2 inches away from them. They lie on their backs and they have no guarding reflex... you go as if to poke one in the face and they don't blink or move. You clap your hands suddenly and they don't jump. They are seemingly the most contented kittens in the entire world, and that is exactly what is wrong with them. This is not normal. also the fact that they wobble about trying to walk if they are put out away from the basket, and they tremor in their sleep and have massive jerky movements also doesn't bode well.

The vet new there was something wrong too. He said that there could be no definite diagnosis (well there could, but it would cost mega bucks), but he suspected that Mary was exposed to Panleukopenia virus whilst pregnant. It doesn't affect the adult cat, in fact all cats come into contact with it during the first year of their lives, but if the cat is pregnant, it can be bad for the kittens. It usually means they wobble, shake and are lethargic. Euthanasia was suggested but both he and I were not exactly willing to do that right away until I tried something else.

Another virus - called Toxoplasmosis that every pregnant mother has heard of -"don't touch cat litter or dig the garden whilst pregnant" etc... Well cats get toxoplasmosis from eating a raw bird/frog/mouse. This happens very often apparently and the cat will emit oocytes in its faeces for about 14 days. It does not make the cat ill, and it doesn't even make humans ill... it only affects mammal babies in utero - human and feline.

The virus causes a parasite to enter the body of the kitten and it crosses membranes etc and will eventually grow in the cerebellum of the kitten who at about 3-4 weeks old will begin to die - called fading kittens. This is much more usual as the injection against panleukopenia has been very effective and has become a rare disease now. Certainly Mary didn't have any of the symptoms of the disease at any time.

Now, given the fact that my kittens are 3 weeks old and still alive but very very dopey and lethargic, he thinks there might be a strong possibility that it is toxoplasmosis rather than panleukopenia induced Cerebellum Hyperplasia (the first option), so we have started giving them antibiotics. They should start to improve in a few days if it is toxoplasmosis and the infection will be clear in about 10 days to 2 weeks. Mary did have a weepy eye at about 7 weeks pregnant, which is often indicative of toxoplasmosis infection - but that's about as bad as it gets in adult cats.

If it is Cerebellum Hypoplasia, then we have a problem. The kittens will actually live to a ripe old age, just be wobbly and weird and docile and dopey. Actually a lovely lovely cat I think. But they will be basically a disabled cat, and have to live indoors as the roads will be treacherous and they of course cannot jump. So at the moment, we are waiting to see. I seriously hope and pray that it is toxoplasmosis.

So that's an ongoing story, and another ongoing story is that we are getting a new puppy! I know, you must think I am mad, but after Clifford our black labrador died 2 years ago, we always said we would get another dog but we kind of never could broach the subject as the death of Clifford was still too raw. Then of course Sue moved in bringing Dylan with her, an old Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, which DS adores.

Now Dylan in 12. That's ancient for a CKC. It could be any time that Dylan croaks his last, and I know DS will be devastated. So DH and I decided it might be a good time to get a puppy to preempt his demise and give DS his own doggie again.

Little did we know that Airplane Grandad (DH's father) was thinking of getting DS a dog as a gift anyway, so it turns out that we get to choose a puppy and he is paying for it! Brilliant.

So our new puppy is a Blenheim Cavalier King Charles Spaniel who we have named Geoffrey.

Here he is at about 1 week:






At 5 weeks old




What a Cute little baby, and the puppy's not too bad either!!

Ok, as for band news... whats to say. I am not doing anything with it. If I choke, then I puke and then I go back to my food when I can. Its just an annoying piece of silicone and I cant deal with thinking about losing weight right now. I have half hearted thoughts of going on slimfast for a while and seeing what happens but the right week never seems to come up. I have it all here ready to go, but just cant get myself motivated. I just wish I had gone for the bypass. I know that if my band had not gone wrong, and I know its the same for my Bunk Mate 'M' from Brugge too, that I would be winning this battle, but we lost serious emotional, mental and physical trust in this thing and its never come back.

I do want it too, but right now, I am not in that zone.

Ok, I will promise to write this blog more often, because this has taken me hours and I don't want to be doing that again.

Oh, yeah and I am going to an Indian wedding next weekend - henna, sari the works! Cool eh?

Monday, 2 March 2009

Busy busy

Lots of things to do and so little time. I have been relatively bad with my eating, mainly junk and easy stuff... but never over the top. So I have managed to keep the same weight, which is a blessing considering the week I have had. If ever there was a time when I would have liked to pig out and eat junk, then this was it.

Money is really tight this month as I only had 2 weeks work last month because of the half term and the band nightmare lesson cancellation rubbish. I am going to take tomorrows earnings as well because March is a full 4 week month of work with no school holidays in it, and that will help us out this month.

I also have the car MOT this month, and it will be typical of my life for there to be some horrendous thing wrong with it. I only just had a big bill for it, so hopefully it wont cripple us.

I did the most unbelievable thing yesterday. I mean, talk about penny pinching miser! I did a shop online at Tesco for delivery tonight. They then email you what you ordered and the prices. So I printed this off and went to Lidl. We compared everything on the list with the same item in the store and saved £25!!
The things that were cheaper at Lidl were:
Cat food
Cheese
Sugar
Robinsons blackcurrant squash
Washing up liquid
Dishwasher salt
Dishwasher tablets
Kitchen towel

I was surprised that margarine, tinned tomatoes and sweetcorn, fabric softener were all surprisingly more expensive than Tescos. I was very surprised... so I am going to do the same each month as £25 is huge saving really! What I need to be careful about is not buying extra things because I am there and they look nice. I always find I save money if I order online because you don't get that pull of the eyes luring you into a purchase! Most of the money saved was on cat food - £13. We buy all the cat food at the beginning of the month, so it normally comes to about £56. This month it was £43. Bargain.

So back to the band news... well I still have restriction even after the unfill, so that's good. I think if she had taken the whole 0.5mls out then it would be different, but it feels ok right now. Infact this is most probably good place for it to be. That extra 0.3 was a tad too restrictive and obviously led to immense strife on the whole water consumption thing. So This is good. I can eat, but not loads and I have to go slowly and I have to think and stuff like that. good good.

Anyway, as always wine is becoming a problem. I love it so much, and I just cant help having the odd glass or 10, so this week would have been a loss I reckon had it not been for the booze. However, this month we are so skint, that I don't think I could afford a look at a glass of wine let alone drink one!! So it could be a blessing in disguise.

Another thing is that Rob, our lodger, could be leaving at the end of this month which will be grim because he pays a fortnight in advance, so we could lose £120 this month. Well - I say 'lose', but its not really lost. I mean we used the £120 he gave us when he first moved in obviously, so it will just feel like we are getting nothing for the last 2 weeks, and this is totally the wrong month for that to happen in. I hope he just has another couple of weeks an then it will be cool.

We already have someone in the pipeline should he blow on us, so that's a relief.

Mary is now started her confinement and is 'lying in' like the Queen of Sheba as she is about to deliver another bunch of bouncing kittens... She is right here with me in the office. Its perfect because the utility room is right outside the door and everythings close at hand. It was good in the caravan but it meant we had to trek outside and stuff like that. She wasn't happy not being with us a lot too, whereas now she is all cosy tucked up with me most of the day and has been very quiet and content in her lying in state. She is massive. I have put her in the maternity ward simply because she was finding it hard to get up on the counter to eat her dinner and also get out of the cat flap, so its only fair.

The last Tom was seen sniffing around her about 7 weeks ago, so she has 2 weeks maximum until delivery, and I am pretty sure she was got at before that, so it could be anytime really. It is nice knowing a date though... makes it a lot less stressful. Poor Mary was in the caravan on her own for 4 weeks last time as we just didn't know when she was going to have them and I couldn't risk her having them in the bed or under the kitchen sink or something with my Dad being ill and all that crap happening.

Its much easier confining them to one room ad being able to keep them safe.

Anyway, will let you know when they arrive!!

Friday, 20 February 2009

bonsoir

Bonsoir little diary...

Today has been cool. I went to a friends house and we had a load of mums and kids over to play and a good old natter. The lunch that she served was:
Ham rolls
Cheese rolls
Cold pizza slices
Sausage rolls
Crisps
Cakes
Flapjacks
Salad

Oh dear. A Bandsters NIGHTMARE. Obviously I could eat absolutely nothing. I sucked a bit of roll trying to not look like an idiot for about half an hour, and then gave up. The rolls were the really floury dry kind and there was just no way. I had a bit of some chocolate slab cake that one of the mums had made, but it came back at me. My mate came to the rescue and made me a bowl of soup bless.

Monday, 16 February 2009

The room is D O N E !

Ok, so this is not the most flattering pic of me, but I am slumped, glugging wine and absolutely shattered. Its all done bar the carpet. This was me last night (Sunday 15th Feb) covered in expanding foam, polyfiller and paint. Until sometime later, I didnt realise that expanding foam DOES NOT come off of your skin. NO. IT. DOES. NOT. My hands right now (over 24 hours later) are still covered in hard green gooooo which has eaten small parts of my skin like a very presumptuous skin peel. DO NOT use this muck without gloves. You have been warned.

In the photo are Sue, Travelling Buddie's DH and me. They are sitting on the roll of beautiful carpet that I laid this morning in my nightie BEFORE I went to slimmingworld (2 pounds off!! YAY!).
I am a freak, I know. Sue (the lodger whos been here nearly a year) said that I am the only person she has ever known that decorates at 2am and lays carpet in a nightie. Well, I guess she must be right.

But NOW, the room is DONE. Check it out. Its pure lush. MMMmmmmmm. I want it for myself now. I am gutted that its not going to be me thats in it, but then again, at least this time tomorrow I will be in my own little office once again. YAY! The 5th bedroom will become my office at last MWAHHH HAAA HAAAA

OK, here it is complete-o:
TURN SOUND !!!!DOWN!!!! It sounds like someone is being murdered!! DH dropped the camera, and its trashed the microphone obviously!! :o(

Some random Inspirational photos

Some Horrors from my past... in order of fatness...


DS was only 7 or 8 months here. I was porky, but not my biggest...
A Holiday in the St. Tropez, South of France. Don't look that humongous, but trust me, the tables covering a lot!
In the American Airlines flight to San Diego. The most uncomfortable trip of my life. The seat divider was practically rammed up my bum the whole trip. Thank goodness the plane wasn't full so DH sat in the mid section so I could have his seat too. (a cute picture of the little bloke though I think, he was 4 here, and turned 5 in California)

Jan, 2004. The recording studio in San Diego. Glad voices don't sound fat eh!! I was recording an 'English' voice for an audio book company and DH took a quick shot mid sentence. Thanks!!!
Our last day in America... A massive slap up meal in Fudruckers (yes, its really called that!) sees us into the car that drives us to the airport. I am wearing some of my new gear from Lane Bryant - a fab outsize clothing store in the states. I spent £1000 there!! HA!!!!!

Oh good grief. I want to die. The above is me doing a medieval cooking demonstration at a 'Gravett Gathering'. Genealogy is a passion of mine and I used to do a lot to bring family history alive. I think in my hands is a 'Tart de Brie' which would have been consumed in the 1450 -1500's England. Look at my arm... its positively bloating. Euuuugh.
Another awful pose of me in full flight delivering a History talk during a Genealogy tour. I actually remember thinking I looked great. GULP! I only ever kept photos that I thought I looked halfway decent in, so you can imagine the photos I threw away!! I am actually 4 times the size of my Grandmother who is right next to me. Jeeeeez.


this is a photo taken to show how bad my impetigo was. I caught impetigo from somewhere and it was terrible and painful and I could barely speak. I got DH to take a photo to remember it. I am now using this photo as my all time FATTEST photo. I was over 19 stone here (266 lbs +).

Saturday, 14 February 2009

2 YEARS SINCE BANDING

Happy anniversary silicone band. What a way to celebrate with having 0.3ml out and guzzling water like its going out of fashion.

Cant believe its been 2 years. So much has happened in those couple of years too.

It will be my REAL 2 year bandiversary November 9th 2009 though...(yeah, you remember, the whole band breaking, regain all weight lost and re-do surgery nightmare)
So I am looking forward to what I will be at then.

Shall I make a prediction?

Well heres what I hope I will be: 13 stone

Heres what I think I will be given my past record: 15 stone

Lets see.

Disaster Strikes

Everything has been going really well...

Then suddenly I cant eat.. or drink.... even my own SPIT!

Ok, lets roll back a bit. Wednesday was cool. DH had the day off and we totally nailed the garage and its now unrecognisable as a garage. It was completely sealed, coved & skirted, and the next jobs were down to me - wallpapering and corners filling, tiling to the entrance etc... so were were Wooo-flippin-doo.

So I got up on the Thursday morning, had breakfast as usual and a coffee or 6 and then got straight in the garage and on with the wallpapering. I had to wallpaper the ceiling too because of the joins, and it took me the best part of the day to do the whole room. I had lunch, I had numerous food and drinks aplenty... I washed and tidied up at 5pm as DH was soon going to be home, and started cooking the dinner.

I was so tired, and I couldn't be bothered to cook after being in the garage the whole 2 days solid, so I got a beef stew out of the freezer, and boiled some potatoes for mash. DS had had a pickle sandwich at lunch and left the practically empty jar open and on the side, including the sticky buttery, pickley knife. I thought, "I'll just clear that up" and ate the last teaspoon that was inside it, and threw it away.

As you know, pickle is saucy, but quite chunky... I chewed it ok, but it did sort of feel hard in the chest. I didn't think a lot of it, and the feeling had gone by the time I sat down to dinner. I served up and I kid you not... the 1st tablespoon of stew - just the gravy - came straight out like a bullet!

Over the course of the next 6 hours I tried various little bits of stuff... Sue had bought a bottle of wine and gave me a glass... puked it.
Glass of water - puked it
coffee - puked
small spoon of cold stew sauce - puked

puke

puke

puke

ARGHHHHHHHH

I had managed to get everything done in the 'bedroom' now. Tiled the doorway opening and everything. All that needed doing was painting the lining paper and hanging the door. So I went to bed happy with my days work, being that I was so darn thirsty and starving, I went to bed at about 12 with a sad heart.

I honestly thought that I would be fine the next morning though.

HA HA!!

I got up and made my brekkie. I always have a berocca and a coffee too. I took a gulp of coffee and just on the first swallow... I don't know if you guys get this or not... but sometimes you just know you got to wait before you swallow again. I was holding the rest of the gulp in my mouth. I gave it a few seconds and then tentatively swallowed. It felt horrible & hard in my chest. I put the cup down and got on with some other things and realised that unbelievably the coffee was still sitting on my band an HOUR LATER!

It got to midday when I still had my berocca and cold coffee and inedible breakfast sitting on the table. There was no way I could eat it. I hadn't even bothered to try any more, so I gave it another shot with the cold coffee... same response.

It got to 3pm and I realised it had been 24 hours since I last had a drink. I also hadn't been to the loo at all that day. Hmmm. I went to lie down as I was really achy from the DIY. I hadn't managed to do anything in the new bedroom as I was so tired and weak. I lay down and started reading and using a spoon to drink it with, drank a few spoonfuls and then a spoonful of salad creme - random i know - but I know it contains fats and sugars and is high in calories so I went with it. I also love salad creme!! :o)

I puked about 2 mins after eating that. I continued this way for an hour or so until I fell asleep.
When I woke up I thought maybe a paracetamol would help to reduce swelling... There was no way I could have swallowed them without them coming back, and dissolvable tablets would have come back too, so I held my nose and chewed two tablets up. OH MAN. That is the grimmest thing ever. They get stuck in your teeth and all kinds. I was gagging just eating them, but at least they went down.

It got to about 6pm when I started to get scared. Really scared. My mouth was like Gandhi's flip flop and my stomach was growling like it was going to eat itself. I was more achy than normal, had a headache and was so lethargic. My skin was obviously dehydrated and I felt like dying.

I am not kidding here right - I googled survival tips. Yep, I did. I looked up how long you can survive without water for. Apparently it depends on the temperature and the amount of energy and if you lose more that 25% of your bodies water its usually fatal. Well I was overwhelmed by gladness about this as you can imagine. GULP.

Why cant they give you a figure in days... even just an average? I mean, how the hell do I measure the % of my body water??? All the survival sites were the same "You can lose up to 2% of your body's water bla bla before bla bla" and so on.

THAT DOESN'T HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I wrote a desperate post on a forum. I hate those lapband forums to be honest, they are so full of bull. Also everyone picks you apart, so you have to explain minutiae of you daily plate of food just to get a reasonable response - so judgmental and political. To be honest I steer clear of these types of lists of any subject because of this.

However one lady did come up with the goods and it put my mind at rest a little and I then knew what to do. I had to go see Wendy at the WLSgroup again for an unfill.

I called the emergency telephone number and got an appointment for this morning first thing.

I watched the family eat their dinner and begrudged them every single bite. It was horrible. I even licked the spoon that I had made the chilli with because I just wanted some so badly. I kept trying to drink my iced water with a teaspoon and I could manage a teaspoon every 2 minutes that way. We watched a bit of telly and then went to bed. I had the worst nights sleep of my life with aches and pains and horrible dreams. Really horrible dreams man. and then thankfully it was the morning.

We got up at 6:30 and picked up my friend on the way through. The drive took us a different way than I usually go, as she lives quite a way from me. It was really great! The drive took us through Hatfield, Brent Cross and Finchley rather than struggling through the yucky side of London through Lee Valley and E17 and all those scummy streets and the traffic that builds up through the last few miles into Islington. We got there about an hour earlier than I had expected going this route, and it was a much more scenic too. I am so going that way next time.

So when we rocked up to 10 Harley Street the road was closed. Wunderbah! We parked at the top of the road and walked. So not only am I half starved, but practically on my knees with lack of water and I have to walk half a mile! Oh the irony!

In the waiting room we sat and chatted and then I went down to see Wendy when she arrived, which was after us due to the excellent route we took, and she was so good. She calmed me down and suggested that it was probably the pickle that had got a little bit stuck and inflamed my tissues. I tend to agree with this. The last fill I had was 0.5mls and today she took out 0.3ml. I got off the couch and could drink immediately.

PHEW. That was the biggest sigh of relief I have ever made. Rhuta and I stopped at the Asda in Hatfield and stocked up on smoothies and water for the drive home. It was so lush. Drinking is so blissful it's unreal.

So * 43 hours * without food or water is not for the feint hearted.

Right, I am off to have some lovely water!

Wednesday, 11 February 2009

How goes the work? Quack!

We shall be putting the ceiling up in about 1 hours time... YAY!! Note the electric light... Yes, that is the handiwork of my darling amazing husband. It also runs the outdoor flood light... What a wonderful guy I am married too. Also its saved me £200 which makes him even more attractive!!! HA HA. It took just an hour once we got all the parts. Its amazing what you can do when you don't have any cash! I am preparing him the gorgeous lasagna left overs from last night and some chips for luncheon.

I shall be eating nothing. I cant stomach food until about 4 or 5pm. That's just how I like it. I have a few coffee's and a couple of slim fasts and that keeps me going. In all honesty I am probably 0.1 or 0.2 mls too tight in my band, but there is NO WAY I am paying to have it removed when I will lose weight and it will slacken off on its own.

It does always seem to me that once I have had a fill it takes a good 6 or 7 days until I really feel it. Isn't that strange. Its like my guts give resistance and then after about a week it gives in and rolls over. I love the way my band is at the moment. I am really feeling positive and much much better about it. I know that when I have lost another few pounds it will give me that boost I have needed. I know I have lost another couple this week, so that's great.

I didn't go and get weighed on Monday though as I wasn't feeling the best. DH's snoring had been keeping me awake at night so I am tending to lay in in the morning... Oh heck - I never need an excuse to lie in, but in this instance I really needed the kip! So DH tried a new idea. He put two bits of wood we are using for the build under the headboard end of the bed, raising it about an inch higher. This really helped and last night I had a decent sleep. I mean, he cant enjoy it either when every 2 mins I am kneeing him in the back, or slapping him around the head, or poking him in the sides or some other form of "SHUT UP!" that takes me at the time - like electrocution by bedside lamp.

So we will eat lunch (or the boys will) and then carry on. Maybe I will have another vid for you later...

The title of this post comes from a play DS was in when he used to be at school a million years ago. It was called Farmer Duck, and he was the lazy farmer. DS came into the garage/bedroom as said "How goes the work" which I thought to be rather a yokel sounding way of asking about the current build situation... Thinking that he must be developing a Fenland burr from the local oiks, I replied "Yeah, alright thanks hun". He then replied. "You are supposed to say 'Quack' ". Funny what kids remember isnt it - he was about 4 at the time.

Tuesday, 10 February 2009

Cant sleep

I have dreadful asthma right now and cant sleep... I think I could if weren't for DH's terrible snoring. Grrrr

So I am awake at 4am.

So... what do I have to tell... hmmm... well the garage is nicely changing into a bedroom. It should be done very soon. all the walls are done, its insulated and everything is toasty. Its amazing that the house is so warm now... having that hole cut in October we didn't kind of notice the chill difference at first because it kind of wasn't that cold back then, so it kind of crept up on you. Since the garage door has been completely blocked off its amazing. I haven't caught myself turning the thermostat up or sitting with blankets on the sofa of an evening. Little things like that. So no more drafts which is great. Next things to happen are the light switch wiring (tomorrow evening) and the ceiling (also tomorrow evening), both of which I can't help much with as brute force is required for the latter, which I just don't have. Yep, I am a weed. Rob is back for the week, so he has offered to help. Seeing as he is the one who is going to be using the room as a bedroom... well more like a suite really... its kind of worth it for him as then he can move in really soon. After the ceiling is in... its just the skirting boards and then over to me to wallpaper it, paint it out and carpet it. Oh yeah, we still need to do the door, but that's not a problem at all. We will get a spare door from the dump and paint it up and all will be great.

The dump is an amazing place to pick up stuff like that. I begrudge paying £30 for a brand new moulded door, when some of the doors down the dump are solid hardwood, nothing wrong with them and only a £5. This room needs a thick door because its straight onto the lounge so noise will be a problem as its now going to be a bedroom. We are not early to bed people either and when TB is in a better frame of mind, they are often over and we get chatting with her and her hubby into the small hours. Or should I say laughing and joking and shrieking with mirth...

Tb is not a happy bunny at the moment either. She is really struggling with seasonal affective disorder. She gets it every winter, but this year has her at her knees. Its so bad. When someone really truly suffers from this its so debilitating. Its not just some quack affliction. Obviously there is little I can do to help her; she has withdrawn into herself and her home, doesn't want to socialise and is angry, argumentative and tearfully distressed and shes kind of keeping her distance from everyone. I wish she would go and see a doctor and get some medical help because it does work. Her routine is absolutely messed up too... sleeping in the day, awake at night. Its dreadful. it happened bad like this about 5 years ago and it took a good 4 months for it to work its way out of her. When it happens really band like this the body gets into a funny state and when the better weather comes, you are sleeping the daylight hours and therefore don't benefit from the sunlight. It takes so much effort for her to force herself to change that. Its a bit like coming out of hibernation. It will be April before she is better.

Band news... I am tight. Its fabulous. I am not hungry at all and as long as I stay away from chocolates and wine I think we will be kicking some fat losing butt shortly. I am going to try really hard this month and push to get under 16 stone because I know psychologically that will give me such a thrill and I will know I am back in the zone. Then it will be my aim to get under 15 stone 7. Its not that far away... a stone at the most. 1 stone is so nice to focus on as it seems within the realms of possibility. Its hard to look at the small picture when you are always thinking of losing 7 stone or something. the thing is... I only need to lose about 4 stone now. It used to be 7, and I keep thinking I still need to lose that amount, but I really don't. Its quite amazing to think that even if I get to my goal on my weightloss ticker, I am a 1/3rd of the way there. I like thinking about things like that.

where I struggle is on a small scale. I struggle keeping it together from 1 day to the next. I will have to make it a goal to stick to my regime of good eating daily rather than thinking of a weekly weigh in. If I think weekly, then the first few days often go by without me being very good at all and then I kind of cheat a little bit each other day. What I need to do is think "Today I am going to be 100% on plan" and then do it the next day too, and the next day... etc. If I have one good week like that maybe it will break my bad habits... who knows.

Anyway, I am actually feeling really tired and I need my inhaler again too. All this building dust is getting to me I think. So night night.

Thursday, 5 February 2009

What a stroke!

Boy am I glad I did all that work in the garage yesterday! Beautiful blue skys, sunshine, and dry - just the best day to get it done.

When DH got home, he and Rob and Paul from next door got all the shelving from the garage into the shed, ferried all the stuff to keep onto the shelving and cleared the whole garage in about 15 minutes. Men! They're brilliant aren't they!!! There is just no way I could match that brawn.
Anyway, it was all done, the wood and polystyrene was taken from the drive and put in the newly emptied garage and all sighed with relief that the hard work was done. We sat down to a massive Indian takeaway and chilled out.

I had prawn dahnsak. I managed the curry and had rice too. I didn't bother with the poppadoms or naan as its not worth it. Good evening all around.

This morning, we awoke to this:

MAKE HAY WHILST THE SUN SHINES MY FRIENDS!

Wednesday, 4 February 2009

Operation Garage Nightmare

We are in the process of coverting our garage into a bedroom. It started like this:

Sue and I spent all morning throwing stuff down the dump and now it looks like this:

It would seem that we have simply moved all the junk to the other side of the room, but actually that is not the case. Everything on the left hand side is needed, and being kept. We took 3 whole stuffed car loads of crap down the dump for it to be poured over by the scavenging scumbuckets that work there ('work' in the loosest possible sense of the word).
So we are at step 2 - Removal of Wanted Stuff to Shed.
RWSS will commence this evening when DH gets home. I don't care if its dark. I don't care if its cold. I have done the hard work, and now its his turn. When you give up your day off work to go to a trade show for 'fun' when you should be at home clearing out the garage, but leave it all to the wife, then you deserve to work in the cold and the dark in my book! I know that if I had not done this today, then it would have sat there for the next couple of months because he just does NOT want to complete this project. So hands must be forced.
Step 3 will be - Let There Be Light... The electrician will come and put in a light and an electric socket in the room next week sometime. A cool £200.
Step 4 - Do IT!... battening, boarding and insulating will commence
Step 5 - Hurry Up... putting on the skirting, architrave and the door.
Step 6 - Finish IT!... Papering, painting, filling and carpeting to finish the job.

Tuesday, 3 February 2009

Today I ate:

October 30th, 2010

Calorie goal: 2,017; calories consumed: 2,198; calories burned: 592
Net calories: 1,606

McDonald's Chocolate Brownie
Daim Crunchy Caramel Candy Bar
McDonald's Chicken Selects Premium Breast Strips
McDonald's Onion Rings
Trident Sweet Chilli Sauce
Mission Tortillas
Chicken Breast
Daisy Sour Cream
Avocado
Bombay Bombay Sapphire Gin
Tropicana Orange Juice

October 29th, 2010

Calorie goal: 2,017; calories consumed: 2,902; calories burned: 1,184
Net calories: 1,718

Greggs Sausage Roll
Asda Cream Slice
Weight Watchers Multigrain Bread
Tesco Creamy Coleslaw 0.50
Daim Crunchy Caramel Candy Bar
Bombay Bombay Sapphire Gin
McCain Home Fries
Stone Hearth Pizza Co. Roasted Peppers Pizza
Cockburns Fine Tawny Port
Cottage Cheese Puff

October 28th, 2010

Calorie goal: 2,017; calories consumed: 2,005; calories burned: 0
Net calories: 2,005

Tesco Skimmed UHT Milk
Oscar Mayer Hot Dog
White Finger Roll (tesco)
Donner Kabab
Bottle Red Wine

October 27th, 2010

Calorie goal: 2,017; calories consumed: 2,415; calories burned: 592
Net calories: 1,823

Oscar Mayer Hot Dog
Warburtons White Batch Bread
Nestle Yorkie Original
Bottle Red Wine
Chicken Fried Rice
Chicken Korma
Bottle Red Wine

October 26th, 2010

Calorie goal: 2,017; calories consumed: 2,389; calories burned: 0
Net calories: 2,389

Ferrero Rocher
egg
Pompeian Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Warburtons White Batch Bread
Butter, Salted
Eismann Camembert Bake
Fresh Green Beans
Warburtons White Batch Bread
Tesco Coleslaw
Bottle Red Wine

October 25th, 2010

Calorie goal: 2,017; calories consumed: 2,496; calories burned: 0
Net calories: 2,496

Scampi
Hellman's Salad Cream
Tesco Skimmed UHT Milk
Bottle Red Wine
Crispy Seaweed
Sweet 'N Sour Sauce
Compliments Chicken Balls in Batter
Chicken Fried Rice

October 24th, 2010

Calorie goal: 2,017; calories consumed: 2,504; calories burned: 740
Net calories: 1,764

egg
Dromona Grated Mild Cheddar Cheese
Pompeian Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Daim Crunchy Caramel Candy Bar
Brussels Sprouts, Cooked
Baby Carrots, Raw
Cauliflower
Atora Beef Suet
Sainsbury's Basics Self Raising Flour
Sainsbury's Danish Smoked Back Bacon
Onions
Bottle Red Wine
Daim Crunchy Caramel Candy Bar

Walk to carrot factory (5 miles over ROUGH ground) 150 minutes -740.0 cals
Totals: 1,764 cals 83g protein

October 23rd, 2010

Calorie goal: 2,017; calories consumed: 2,506; calories burned: 0
Net calories: 2,506

Food Item
Tesco Skimmed UHT Milk
Daim Crunchy Caramel Candy Bar
Bottle Red Wine
Tesco Giant Yorkshire Pudding
Onions
Richmond Sausages
Smash Smash Instant Mash
Peas
Bisto Instant Gravy
Totals: 2,506  protein 61g


22nd October

Spaghetti, Whole-wheat, Dry

Pompeian Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Tesco Tomatoes (tin Chopped)

Tesco Skimmed UHT Milk

Chicken Breast
Onions
Peppers
Avocado
Sour Cream
Salsa
Discovery Soft Flour Tortillas - Garlic & Coriander
Red Wine, Dry

Daim Crunchy Caramel Candy Bar
Totals: 2,154cals (137 over daily goal) and 72g protein


21st October

Tesco Skimmed UHT Milk 


Honey
Pork Centre Loin Chop
Broccoli
potato
Cornflour
Roasted Parsnip 

Scampi

Maille Wholegrain Mustard
Young's Admiral's Pie
Daim Crunchy Caramel Candy Bar
Totals: 1,420 cals 66g protein


20th October
Tesco Skimmed UHT Milk 600ml

Omlette:
egg x 2
15ml Pompeian Extra Virgin Olive Oil x 2
Dromona Grated Mild Cheddar Cheese 34g
Hellmann's Mayonnaise 2 x 15ml
Salad


Curry:
Tesco Lentils Green (canned) 132g
Garlic 1 clove
Spinach 1 cup
Onions 1 cup
Tesco Tomatoes (tin Chopped) 100g
Maggi Coconut Milk Powder 10g
Tesco Brown Rice (easy Cook) 100g uncooked

The Co-Operative Exotic Fruit Juice Drink 200ml

Totals: 1,606 cals  & 61g protein


19th October
Lunch
'yummy dinner' - consists of mashed potato, chopped tomatoes, chopped frankfurters, jalapeno's and cheese

Dinner
Quiche and salad with mayonnaise. Quiche was made with pastry shell, peppers, onions and courgette. salad was spinach, watercress and lettuce.

Snacks
Aero bubbles
KitKat chunky

Cals = 1783


18th October
Lunch
Banana
PM Snack
Banana
Dinner
Salad & French Fries- romaine leaves, spinach and watercress with oven cooked chips
3 KitKat Chunky bars
red wine

Cals 2305

17th October
Breakfast
Porridge
Lunch
Scone with jam an cream
Champagne
Dinner
Chicken caesar salad
tiny piece of celebratory cake
olives

Cals 2084

16th October
Lunch
2 scrambled eggs on 2 slices of toast

Dinner
Half of a three cheese pizza, massive watercress and spinach salad and coleslaw

a gazillion coffee's with milk

Daily calories: 1660

15th October
lunch
half an egg mayonnaise sandwich - possibly less cos it was rank.
banana

dinner
Chinese meal at restaruant
spring roll
seaweed
4 prawn toasts
1 wanton

3 duck pancakes
red wine

Evening dumb move
2x coleslaw sandwiches

Total calories for the the day 3000

14th October
really really crap day eating wise
LUNCH
mashed potato and coleslaw
DINNER
*planned* chicken stirfry
stirfry veg, chicken breast & dressing made with jam, peanut butter and soy sauce (yummy honest!) but I couldnt eat it - puked the first try out of this meal at 7pm. Then on return from the meeting, I puked my second go at eating it at around 11pm.

DINNER
*actual* ended up being Mashed potato and coleslaw again!!! LOL
Oh boy, well nevermind. I now know I cant eat stirfry - well maybe not today anyhow.

SNACKS
banana

Cals today 1290

13th October
Lunch
Cheese and spring onion sandwich

Afternoon snack
banana

Dinner
Nasi goreng and chilli sauce

Evening treat's
A Crunchie and a Daim Bar!!! YUM

The days calorie count: 1369!!!!!!!

12th October
Lunch
Egg mayonnaise & cress sandwich

Snack
Banana

Dinner
Cheese and tomato pizza, salad and coleslaw

Evening treat
Cadbury's Crunchie

Total day's calories 1515


11th October
Lunch (very late)
1/2 sausage roll
Lucozade Sport

Dinner
Lasagna - a 'lite' version of my cheesy delight

Serves 6 Seriously hungry people (or 12 semi restricted bandits)
900g beef mince
1 can of pureed plum tomatoes
2 carrots grated
2 onions
2 cloves of garlic
150g cheese
400mls skimmed milk
2 teaspoons of English (yellow) mustard
mixed herbs
salt and pepper
25g cornflour
21 Lasagna pasta sheets (you kight need more/less depending on how you layer it)

Put the mince in a pan with 2 pints of water and bring to the boil (this removed the solid fattening lard so that you can get rid of it). In another pan add the 2 grated carrots and chopped onion and sweat off in some water too - not enough to cover, but enough so that it cooks without burning.
In another saucepan (yes there are a lot!) heat the milk and cornflour stiring continuously. When it has thickened, add the 1tsp mustard and 3/4 of the grated cheese and stir vigorously then set aside.

Drain the mince, then put it back in the pan. Add 1 tsp mustard, herbs, salt, pepper and tomatoes and stir. Puree the carrot and onion mix and add to the mince. Mix it through and then begin layering mince/pasta sheets/mince/pasta sheets until its all gone. Finish with a layer or pasta.
Pour the sauce all over the top so that it is completely covered. Lay 3 thinly sliced tomatoes all over the top and then sprinkle with the remaining cheese.
Cook for 45 mins to 1 hour at 175oC until the top begins to brown

The result is this:


10th October
No brekkie - this is getting to be a habit!

Lunch
Eggy bread

Dinner
Quiche, coleslaw + salad
greek yoghurt with apricots and honey

Snack
More yoghurt as above :-)

todays cals: 1749


9th October
No brekkie, No lunch - we are going out tonight + not that hungry so why bother.

Dinner - Mushroom strogannof, rice and rye bread roll
Serves 4
loads of mushrooms (of differing varieties if you like/can be bothered)
400g (probably get away with less) of weight watchers low fat thick cream
4 tbsp olive oil (1 per person)
2 cloves of garlic
2 onions
1tbsp lemon juice
salt & pepper
parsley
rice to serve
stock (or a stock cube - but watch you dont add too much salt)

Fry the onion in the oil, and 250ml stock and reduce on quick heat. add muchrooms and stir. Add salt and pepper and the lemon juice and fry for a few minutes. It starts to get more fluid in the pan from the mushrooms cooking. When its obviously done, lots of watery stuff and the mushies are cooked turn off the heat, add garlic and stir. Add the cream and then the parsley.
Serve with rice and a roll

The reuslt: (by the way - I ate only half of this!!! LOL)

I also consumed milk, 2 litres of tropical fruit juice (and I have a nice swollen tastebud on my tounge because of it), 2 glasses of red wine and some Doritos at our freinds house for a cards evening.
Todays calories: 2110 - 79cals OVER my allowance, but this might not actually be the case as I had to take a best guess from memory on the juice nutritional label and erred on the side of caution. Anyway, for a night out, that is a total WIN!

8th October
Breakfast -nowt again

Lunch
Bubble & Squeak - red cabbage from last night with mashed potato and a little onion fried in a hot pan with fry light cooking spray.

Dinner
Jacket potato, coleslaw & cheese with a huge green salad.

Snacks
Apple flapjack organic yoghurt
Cadbury's Crunchie Rocks

Total cals for the day: 1835

7th October
Breakfast - nowt

Lunch (well if its still classed as that at 4pm)
Half a portion of chick pea curry leftovers from 6th October below sans rice!

Dinner
Roast pork loin in honey and mustard, oven fried tatties with rosemary and garlic and lashings of red cabbage

Small Evening snack (read 'dirty gluttonous feast')
170g Galaxy Minstrels
400mls Apple juice

throughout the day - the usual 600ml milk allowance.

Calories today 1952 (and you really thoguht I would bust it right??!!! HAHAHA! Wrong!)

6th October

Breakfast - coffee

Lunch
'Yummy Dinner'
This is a favorite of mine and my son's.
Mashed Potato, 4 chopped frankfurters, half a tin of chopped tomatoes, jalapeno's and grated cheddar. Its like so amazingly yummy and low in cals for such a filling and satisfying meal.

Dinner
Chick Pea Curry & Rice

Serves 5
2 Onions
Chicken stock (made from boiling bones, cabbage leaves, onions in skins and celery for ages)
 42g coconut milk powder
2 cans of chick peas (cooked)
1 tin of tomatoes
1 tin of peaches in juice (blended smooth in a jug)
2 cloves garlic
cayenne
curry powder of choice - but its best as a mild one.

Snack this evening
Daim bar - what else could it ber right now?!?!?!
(and allowance of milk for the day 600mls)

Todays calories so far 1566

5th October
Breakfast - nowt as I wasnt hungry

Lunch
Jacket Potato, beans and cheese and a small amount of margarine

Dinner
2 cheese and ham pancakes with peas.

Evening snack
Daim Bar

Many coffee's with milk. I allow myself 600mls of milk each day, and as a family we get through about 1 litre a day, so I think this could be a little bit of an exaggerated guess, but I would rather err on the side of caution!

todays cals 1548

4th October
Breakfast
2 scrambled eggs with milk and butter (yes, real butter!)
half a can of baked beans

Lunch
Half a can of baked beans followed by a large banana

Dinner
Chilli Con Carne with Rice.

Evening treat
Nestle Caramac bar

total for today 1728


3rd October
Breakfast - slept through that one!

Lunch
Baked beans
low fat Greek Yoghurt and a spoonful of honey

P.M. Snack
2x Bananas

Dinner
Chicken & Bacon Pie, Broccoli and Carrots

This recipe serves 5 healthy appetites:

  • Pastry -150g margarine, 340g plain flour & water to mix (to make a pie case and lid)
  • Filling - 330g Back Bacon - no fat, 5oz chicken breast (as that all i had left!)
  • Sauce - Stock + 2 onions, half head of celery, pureed carrots and romanesco from last nights dinner and thickened with cornflour. 
  • Broccoli and Carrots to serve

500ml milk allowance in various coffees
And to top my day off - a Nestle Caramac bar
how many calories in this little lot... Ta Da! 1666
2nd October 2010
Breakfast
Coffee as usual

Lunch
120g of rice (uncooked weight) boiled
72g of Lao Gan Ma's Chilli Paste with Fermented Soybean - oooh its gooood but...
  ***THIS IS A LUNCH NEVER TO BE REPEATED***
***WAY TOO FATTENING***
***1 JAR of this paste has over 2000 calories!!!!!!***
 ***10g has 74cals. I need 70g minimum = 532 cals on PASTE! GULP!***
Dinner
Roast chicken
Oven cooked tatties
  • cut potatoes into inch pieces, spray with one of those diet oil sprays and throw on some Rosemary, crushed garlic and pepper and bake for 20 mins. mmm
Carrots
Romanesque (romanesco broccoli)
Gravy
  • Have never gone back to using Oxo/stock powders - all gravy is made from home made chicken stock (boiled bones of a whole chicken, onion, cabbage leaves, half head of celery and onions in skins pressure cooked for 25 minutes) and then I use cornflour to thicken

Orange Juice
Milk in many coffees
Cals today 1950

1st October 2010
Brunch 
3 eggs scrambled with 10g butter and skimmed milk
2 slices toasted brown bread

Dinner
Cottage Pie:- Mince beef, peas and stock thickened with cornflour, mashed potato and green beans (about 4 cos they were stringy and grim)

500ml orange juice
4 cups of fresh coffee and skimmed milk (going to give milk up in coffee as it dont taste nice to me anymore)
Tropical fruit juice - about 500mls

1x Daim Bar
Daily Plate calories: 1876cals - (my daily allowance is 2081)






******************************************************************************** 26th November 2009
Home made baked beans in tomato sauce
1/2 home made wholemeal roll
Slice roast beef, new potatoes and watercress & spinach salad with HM balsamic dressing
1/4 piece of organic no MSG chocolate. (tastes like shit but hits the PMT spot man!)
umpteen coffees and water
24nd November 2009
Coffee with Organic Whole milk x 6
Portion of Curry & Rice -

Green Lentils
Chopped Tomato
1 Onion
1 ounce butter
2 teaspoon sugar
1 tbsp Sri Lankan curry powder
salt
Portion from Pouch Sharwoods Ready cooked Steamed Pilau Rice
1 Marshmallow
Another portion of above
1 Ryvita dark rye crispbread
1/2 jar green olives
Bowl of Tesco's own Instant Hot Oat Cereal (aka Ready Brek) with 2 tbsp sugar


23 November 2009 - GOING MSG FREE DAY

From today I endevour to eat NO MSG or any product containing the ingredients listed here http://www.msgmyth.com/hidename.htm

Coffee with UHT Skimmed milk x 4

Coffee with Full Fat Organic Milk x 2
Mashed potato with butter, salt, pepper & garlic
2 Scrambled eggs with UHT Skimmed milk, butter
Mashed potato with butter, salt, pepper & garlic
Grated Cheese
1 marshmallow toasted on a candle
1 spoon Chicken and Leek soup left over in fridge before I WOKE UP & realised I must not eat this & poured in down the sink
1 bowl of maple & pecan cereal with whole milk & 1 tbsp sugar

31st October 2009

course of the morning snacks:
few olives
1 row (5 squares) white chocolate with crunchy rice in it (mmmm!)

lunch: 1egg, scrambled with a little milk and butter
1/2 can baked beans in tomato sauce

dinner:
jacket potato with butter, cheese and coleslaw

evening snack:
mashed potato with tinned chopped tomato, jalapenos and grated cheese

total cals 1554 - and that had to be over estimated on occasion too e.g. I had 12g butter, but LIVESTRONG.COM have values for 15g so I went with that rather than do the maths and portion it out. What a good girl! No wine either - hee hee!

30th October 2009
Macaroni cheese + salad
olives
prawn curry from takeaway
2 glasses red wine

a very over estimated 1800 cals... I truly don't know how much was in the curry, as you never really do, and I had to over estimate the cals in the mac and cheese because it was impossible to factor every last drop of calories.

29th October 2009
USN diet fuel shake x2
Liver and Bacon pate
chicken stir fry (chicken, vegetables, worcestershire sauce, apricot jame, soy sauce, chilli)
2 tablespoons of white rice
2 bags of lettuce with low cal dressing
20 olives
2 glasses red wine

1649 cals including 91g protein

28th October 2009
USN diet fuel shake x 1
chicken livers on salad
6 jaffa cakes
7 fishfingers
2 tablespoons of peas
tomato ketchup
5 olives
3 glasses red wine

1528 cals
exercise today: brisk 10 minute walk up to village and brisk 10 minute walk back.

28th September 2009
2 x USN Diet Fuel Shakes
1 portion of home made Celery soup
1 Hot smoked Salmon fillet with chopped tinned plumb tomatoes
1/2 (or just over, which included the business part = chocolate sauce+topping) McFlurry


27th September
2 Diet fuel shakes
Roast Sunday Dinner:
  • 1tbsp roast beef
  • 1 tbps cabbage
  • 1tbsp carrots
  • 1 small roast potato
  • gravy
  • horseradish sauce
  • 1 small Yorkshire pudding.
Sounds loads... wasn't anywhere near what would usually eat! took ages to eat and pureed everything with teeth by chewing to DEATH!

26th September
1 diet fuel shake
1 portion of pureed ratatouille
2 cups of thin soup
2 large glasses of liqueur Muscat
2 slices of cheese (approx 100g)
spoonful of chilli sauce

25th September 2009
2 diet fuel shakes
pureed ratatouille
1/4 of a 1 scoop protein powder pancake (1 egg, 1 scoop protein powder, beaten together and dry fried in a skillet... LUSH!)

24th September
2 x USN Diet fuel shakes (354)
1/2 cup of curry and rice (?)
1 pot diet ice cream from eismann (73)
2 low fat yoghurts (100 each)

todays calories 630 + curry of which I have no idea. It was so small its hardly worth writing about though I guess. I also have skimmed milk in my coffees throughout the day, so whatever it was in the curry, I think we are safe to say I am under 1000 cals again today.

23rd September
2 x Diet fuel Protein shakes (354cals)
1 packet Knorr Crofters thick veggie soup (eaten over course of day) (250cals)
1 can of spaghetti in tomato sauce (200 cals)
1/2 packet Angel Delight mousse (200 cals)

22nd September
1 slimfast
1/2 packet of Knorr Golden Vegetable soup
2 tesco's own slim shakes
1 bowl (1/2 packet) Angel Delight butterscotch flavour
5000 coffee's
61 glasses of squash

... ok it felt like that, but probably more like 3 pints squash, and 7 coffees... maybe more.

21st September 2009
4 x slimfast shakes
1 bowl Birds Custard (home made) & stewed cooking apple from garden - no sugar
Gravy from home made Beef Stew:
  • 500g lean braising steak
  • 1 large onion rough chopped
  • 3 large chunky chopped carrots
  • 1 can chopped tinned tomato
  • 2oxo cubes
  • 1 tbs cornflour to thicken
  • 3pts water
Put everything in a pan (except cornflour) and simmer for 2 hours topping with water if liquid reduces too much. Add cornflour to thicken just before serving.

20th September 2009
2 x Slimfast

11th June 2009
Massive green salad with Tuna mayo (xtra lite)
Muller lite x2
Spinach and Green Bean curry with rice
6 garlic cloves and half a stem of ginger blitzed in water with 2 chicken
oxo
2 cans of tomato
cumin
turmeric
cumin seed
white pepper
mild curry powder
1 bag spinach
1/2 pound french green beans
1/2 pot of no-fat yoghurt

1 Jar Kalamata Olives

TOTAL SYNS 8

10th June 2009 (had evening pamper party)
no breakfast
no lunch
Chicken and tarragon Casserole (chicken, carrots, onion, garlic, peas in oxo gravy)with new potatoes
at the party: Wine - about 1 bottle by the way I felt
Doritos and dip
cocktail sausages
snack eggs (mini scotch eggs)
chocolates - mint thins and also dairy milk squares

No idea on SYNS

9th June 2009
fruit salad + no-fat yoghurt for breakfast
baked beans for lunch
Pasta Putanesca for dinner made with tomato, peppers, onion, celery, capers, tuna, olives and pasta spirals.
Mullerlite yoghurt
packet of Starburst sweets
TOTAL 10 SYNS

8th June 2009
2 Rashers bacon, 1/2 an onion with a 2 egg omelette - dry fried
Chicken curry made with garlic, ginger, tomato, spinach, chicken and rice and 1 tbsp Olive oil
3 Muller lite yoghurts
diet tonic water
jar of olives
TOTAL 8 SYNS

11th May
Coffee
slimfast x2

10th May
Coffee
3 pks Walkers crisps with salad cream
1 packet prawn crackers
3 muller fruit corners
whole portion Saag (spinach bhaji)
whole portion of Bringal (aubergine bhaji)
1/2 prawn dhansak
2 popadoms
1 bottle red wine
1 large G+T (not slimline)
probably other stuff I forgot (another crisps maybe)

27th April
1 Jar Kalamata Olives
1/4 tub coleslaw
Bowl of chicken noodle soup and half a small soft roll
Pasta with Puttanesca sauce

Recipe for Puttanesca my way
serves 1 bandit and 5 normals:

1 very large onion slices
4 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp black pepper
1 vegetable oxo
2 tbsp balsamic vinegar
1 can chopped tomato
1 can of water (use the tomato can obviously!)
12 Greek Style seriously hardcore strong black olives
2 tbsp capers
1/2 jar of roasted red peppers (or 2 fresh ones) sliced
4 cloves garlic (no vampires coming here tonight)
1 tbsp sugar

1 tin of tuna chunks in brine
1 small plants worth of basil leaves

What to do:
fry onion in all the oil for a bit.
throw in the olives and stir and stuff for a bit longer
throw in can of tomato and can of water and stir for a while
bung in everything else too EXCEPT the Tuna and Basil
turn down the heat and simmer lightly for an hour.

You can then after an hour turn off the heat and stir in the tuna and basil leaves and serve over as much or as little pasta as you want. Nice and wet and full of goodness for bandsters.
yummmmmmmy

18th Feb
1 Slice toast with Mango Chutney and cheese
1/4 plum
1 slice dragon fruit.

17h Feb
Coffee's and Water etc
2 slices toast with beans and cheese
2 steamed mince meat dumplings
mashed potato
2 glasses red
5 Lindt Lindor chocs


16th Feb
2 slimfast
1 small slice suet pudding ( instead of bacon I made with creamed beefburger and garlic - actually very yummy!),1 parsnip, 1 piece sweet potato, few carrots, few peas + gravy
Coleslaw
Potato salad
Hummus
4 Lindt Lindor chocs and 3 glasses red.

Hmmm, heavy eating day today.


14th Feb
2 little fruit smoothies from Asda
1 litre Evian
1 Slimfast
1.5 litres Yazoo Milkshake
2 coffees
2 pints of water

13th Feb 2009
Nothing!

11 Feb 2009
2 slimfast
15 chip shop chips
4 glasses red
Little bit (childs portion) of lamb hotpot

10 Feb 2009
4 slimfast
Helping of Lasagne

4 Feb 2009
Slice toast with tinned tomato
Slice home made bread rubbed with garlic and cheese
Prawn dahnsak & rice


3 Feb 2009
1 Shape lasting satisfaction Yoghurt
1/2 can baked beans
1 small slice apple flap-jack
Roast Lamb Dinner (lamb, potato, sweet potato, parsnip, carrots, broccoli)
red wine

2 Feb 2009
2 slices home made bread
1 tin of tomato soup
1 cup of pasta spirals
1 serving home made puttanesca sauce (Tomato, Onion, Garlic, Olives, Red peppers, Aubergine, Pine nuts, Capers
1 Shape Lasting Satisfaction Yoghurt

Monday, 2 February 2009

Great results

Well, cant remember if I put it down or not, but when I got weighed at fat club last Monday I had put on 2 and a half pounds, taking me to 16 stone 11.5. Not good. This week, without following any specific diet or regime at all, even having a couple of bottles of red during the week, I have lost a whopping 5 AND A HALF POUNDS!!!!

When I went to see Wendy again yesterday, I obviously didn't know this. I weighed in on their scales as a pound up, but she looked at me and then asked her husband Steve if it was the same scales, to which the answer was no as they had been sent for calibration or something. She told me I looked as though I had lost weight. I told her I had my hair cut, and we agreed it must have been that.

So we chatted about food and the intake thereof. I have been able to eat this week everything that I cooked. The portions were a tad smaller, I didn't feel as hungry in the morning as usual etc but, to me it did seem that although I could feel some difference, it wasn't quite the difference that I thought might tip me over that little plateau. So we agreed that she would put another half in and I would go careful and see what happens. If its too much, I will know and just stay on liquids. Obviously I am on liquids at the moment, so I haven't got much to report, except for the lovely delicious result at slimmingworld today! It was great to see those scales tipped the other way. I re-joined slimmingworld about 7 weeks ago as you know and I weighed in at 16 8.5. That week I lost 2 and a half pounds taking me to 16stone 6. Then I have farted about and been rubbish for a while gaining here there and everywhere, so to be right back to 16 stone 6 again, its given me a great boost. I also have 1 more ml in my band than I had back in December, so things should start to rock an roll.

Now, I have had a couple of emails from readers about the possibility of evaporative loss. I think that they say this because they cant quite form the words..." we could have lost a bit when I was putting the needle in and out etc" I know that my last fill in October didn't go well, and the syringe plunger was not working quite right and popped off and we lost fluid and she had to re-fill another syringe and replace it, so its a possibility that actually that is where I lost half a ml. The saline actually ran down my side onto the couch. To be honest I think that that is definitely where I lost it. But she called it evaporative loss and hinted at never getting all the fluid drawn back as some is in the tubing etc... So that's what I put here. No ones perfect are they, and when you see so many patients, it must be hard to remember what happened at each visit and stuff. I am not bothered. I know that my band is full, under pressure and has no leaks, air bubbles or any problems. I feel a lot more positive to be honest.

So whatever the loss was down to, its not a problem right now.

Thursday, 29 January 2009

Headachesorethroatcoldbleurgh!

Feeling rubbish. Sore throat, headache, full on snot - that kind of rubbish.

Band been behaving itself, but can still eat a lot. I am having to chew more for sure, but there is still not enough restriction. It's like its on the verge of something. Its so close, but not quite there. So I am going again on Sunday and should be able to sort it out. Wow, how many times do I say that? Well lets just hope this REALLY is the time now.

Went out to dinner last night with my mate Rhuta. She has just got engaged to her long term boyfriend and is so happy, so we went out to have a good chat over a meal. We had Moroccan
with a Mixed Meze to share for starter (stuffed vine leaves, couscous, spicy beans, cucumbery-yoghurt thing, sea food mix and humous) and then I had some lentil/pea pattys like burgers that are cooked on a wood burning grill with tabbouleh (Bulgar wheat and herbs and onions etc) and a tomato and pepper sauce. It was yummy. Was going to have pudding too - baklava or however you spell it but it was a bit grim. I know that it is actually the real thing and there was nothing wrong with it, but in my mind a weird bland nut puree in pastry covered with oil and honey is not a good pudding... maybe I'm weird, but this is just boring, and not worth it. I stuck to coffee.

But yeah, I didn't have a problem with any of it and eat a lot. It was all dryish and chew-worthy if you know what I mean. I was also a bit peckish when I got home.

We discussed metabolism a lot. Rhuta is painfully thin. She is DESPERATE to gain weight. I know people say it a lot, but I know her well and she eats loads. You would not think it was possible for someone to eat so much and stay the same weight.
this was a typical day:
Breakfast:
dhal and rice followed by a pint of full fat milk with mango pulp in
Snack:
Kellogs nutrigrain bar, home made full fat banana + fruit smoothie
Lunch: Last nights leftovers... some kind of curry and rice
snack: cakes/crisps or snacks brought by co-workers from tesco (little office ritual that a different person gets afternoon cakes/snacks every day)
Dinner: half a pizza and chips or massive curry and rice and naan or lasagna etc.
snacks: nuts and Channa mix with different things or an extra portion of the dinner.

How is it possible for this little 7 stone delicate flower to eat this much and not gain weight. She is always in awe of me because I eat less than half of that and GAIN weight. Ahh ha! Haaa haaa haaa. I mean WHAT????

She brought up the idea of sweat. I have no idea about this, but it was interesting. She said that people who sweat easily have a high metabolism. I don't know if that's true, but it is an interesting concept that I have not thought about before.

I NEVER sweat. I can exercise, ride a bike in full sun, do anything, and NEVER break a sweat. I never use deodorant because I just don't smell. My feet don't get sticky. My palms are dry as a bone and I am seemingly sweatgland-less. I have always considered this EXCELLENT! I don't get smelly ever and its just great! She said that she can feel cold, but her hands are clammy. A little hoovering makes her ringing wet. She says she hates it because she is always sweating. She always put it down to being in a hot country until she came to England... but it has continued. Her husband to be is the same. Even DH sweats loads. He plays badminton, comes home and its like he has showered in his clothes. Its really gross, but maybe she has something here... How many people who are overweight sweat easily? Or should I ask how many people who are overweight find they don't get damp pits that often unless they are really going for it in the exertion side of things?
I would appreciate your responses.

Thursday, 22 January 2009

Still pain, plus some extra for good measure

couple of things are annoying me... the fill doesn't seem to have made much, if any, difference. I haven't had an episode of HMSing or even pb'ing or heartburn or stuff like that. However, I have been good, and chewed well. I can however, eat meat, potatos, rice and bread without incident. Hmmm

Meals I can remember:
Kentucky snack box - Chips and fillet chicken
Bread and jam
Baked beans on toast
Breaded chicken goujons, potato waffle and sweetcorn (always a hard item to eat)
Roast lamb dinner
Spanish tortilla - potato, onion and egg
Scrambled egg with bacon and tomato
Sandwich
Fish and chips

I have made an appointment to go back and see Wendy as suggested but I think I am going to do something a little more drastic and go on slimfast or something. I am at that very dangerous point of just saying "Stuff it all" and enjoying my life. I did this because I wanted to regain control and I want to, but I am thinking about food all the time, eating it, cooking it and obsessing about it, and also thinking about my band all the time and I just cant be bothered any more.

Also, the governments minions are annoying me royally. They have launched an investigation into home education as a cover for child abuse or enslavement/entrapment:

"The DCSF spokeswoman said the concerns were based on unspecified allegations. "We want to see if there is any evidence to back up the allegations," she said."

I'm left wondering how exactly this is different from "we know they are guilty so now we just need to find the evidence"

Are there not more serious problems in the world? Are there not more serious problems in the UK, are there not more pressing concerns within England, or even our county that would be better for these idiots to sort out rather than persecute a group of people that in the vast majority are doing this because the systems they want to impose on us have failed our babies?

I would suggest an inquest into why more and more people are telling schools in England to SHOVE it. an investigation into why the LEA themselves do not act where there is medical evidence of bullying of 4 and 5 year old children within their 'care'

If I were the DCSF I would be more worried that Education Otherwise, HEAS and all the others groups don't club together and launch an investigation into the LEA and publish it nationwide on radio shows and television and give words into other peoples mouths.

They could find that the majority of schools would then be moribund after the bullying and suicides and stress levels, lack of learning and wasted time are revealed in all their glory.

So this has really annoyed me. I suggest you read up on the following before you voice your opinion... as so many people don't know what the hell they are talking about and just spout their personal opinion and look like idiots on the radio and TV to all of us that are a little more enlightened.

If the school system had nurtured, educated and supported my DS as it told me it was going to do, he would still be there. I have no intention of putting him back into that prison, and I have the right to choose this option. I just hope that others will have this option in the future.

To quote Jason Ward:

"Please, can we not give up the liberty of being able to choose between a great
state system, a private school or the joy of teaching at home, simply
because it is hypothetically possible that a bad person, somewhere, might
one day conceivably manipulate the system, or there might be an “extreme
case”.
AHEd press release on Home Education Forums:
http://www.home-education.biz/forum/news-releases/61-outrage-disgust-latest-government-attack-families.html#post107

Education Professionals Union Voice General Secretary believes that inspections by the local education authority should be compulsory, and parents should have to present the child and his or her work.
http://www.voicetheunion.org.uk/index.cfm/page/_sections.contentdetail.cfm/navid/11/parentid/325/id/1391/_sa/17

Government attempting to influence consultation outcome:
These completely biased articles have been posted to inhouse journals. Please remember that the NSPCC spokesperson said on the Jeremy Vine show that they have no evidence or statistics to back up these spurious abuse concerns. This is not the impression being given to state sponsored employees who are clearly being encouraged to respond to this consultation. It's about numbers more than ever.
http://www.publicservice.co.uk/news_story.asp?id=8280
http://www.egovmonitor.com/node/23078
See here for detailed information about how local authorities have may used"unsubstantiated hearsay" in consultation responses:
http://ahed.pbwiki.com/London+Safeguarding+Network
contact your local newspaper:
http://news.mysociety.org/
email your mp:
http://www.theyworkforyou.com/
This is the link to 'listen again' for the Jeremy Vine show that broached the topic
"some people have expressed concern that home education could be used as a cover for child abuse, forced marriage, domestic servitude or other forms of child neglect. What do you think Government should do to ensure this does not happen?"

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00grcyg/Jeremy_Vine_20_01_2009/

the final question on the consultation form. Heres the link to the consultation:-http://www.dcsf.gov.uk/consultations/index.cfm?action=consultationDetails&consultationId=1605&external=no&menu=1

Monday, 19 January 2009

Pain pain pain...

I had my fill yesterday, which went well. There was some evaporative loss, and Wendy re adjusted the volume in my band calculation to 6.5mls. There were no air bubbles, the fluid was clear and everything was otherwise fine, so nothing to worry about. She gave me another 0.5mls on top of the amount taking me to 7mls total.

I want this to be the one that starts me on that slope again. It does seem that because of being too tight back in August, it was due to swelling and aggravation rather than actually being filled too tight as I was only at 5.5mls or something. Anyway, 7mls is a normal amount for a bandit, and seeings as I was losing and regaining the same couple of pounds over the last 3 months, this one should tip that balance the other way. I hope so.

its half 11 in the morning and I have had my berocca and a yoghurt and I am not hungry. I am not saying that this is a difference, because I am never usually hungry in the mornings, but I am just logging it for my own knowledge in the future.

I do seem to be someone who suffers from painful fills. It feels like I have been stabbed and I have to be all precious and hold my port site carefully whilst walking about. I hope that it doesn't last too long this time, but its usually a couple of days whatever. At least I know that there is nothing wrong.

Because of the crap that happened with my band, there is always this niggling paranoia that its not working, or its broken. I just cant get that trust back no matter that its been a year since it was all fixed up.

I have also thought of a different way to view my weightloss expedition. Rather than thinking about it since banding, I should really be thinking about it since starting this expedition back in 2005 when I weighed 18 stone 12 and a half pounds. When I think about that, it makes me feel a lot better. The time frame is not a factor to me, its the actually pounds lost that makes me feel good. Because I have only lost about 14 pounds with the band, it makes me feel a bit crap, but I have actually lost 30 or so since I started this. Considering I want to be about 12 stone, this means I am about a 3rd of the way there, and this puts a hell of a lot more positive spin on things. The mind is a powerful tool isn't it.

Tuesday, 13 January 2009

Time to fill 'er up!

I have really looked into my eating over the last two weeks. I was considering having a fill a couple of weeks ago and I hadn't really thought about it properly. Erika (aka Lap Band Girl) asked me some pertinent questions and I thought she was right and I should kind of analyse what I am doing.

I have kept food diary's from the last 2 weeks solid and I need a fill. I am eating way too much. I am not forcing the issue, just finding that I am able to finish my plate and my portion sizes have crept up over the last few months and they are the same as DH's and DS's and even sometimes bigger than Sue's. *gulp*

I wondered why I was eating more... that's why I thought I had to really look into this. Its wasn't because I was forcing myself, or was emotionally eating, or anything, just that I was plain hungry. I have not had to HMS at all in the last 2 weeks either.

I have also had a tendency to 'use' wet foods... curry, soup, stews, scrambled eggs etc so I have made a concerted effort to eat chewable stuff this week, thinking that maybe that was the reason why I was able to eat so much. Alas this is not the case. I have had lamb shank with crisp veggies, lasagne with chips (home made dry roasted ones... i.e. no fat!), egg and chips, ryvita with toppings, jacket potato's, salads, couscous, pasta and even a sandwich... So I think that basically I can eat pretty much anything without anything getting stuck, or feeling incredibly full after just a small time, and the chewing thing has not had to be *that* rigid.

Another factor is of course the lack or weightloss or rather the up and down around the same few pounds which is really hacking me off.

I find in the evening around 10pm I am looking in the fridge and the cupboard and scratching around for a snack. I have yogurt or a couple of ryvita's if they are there, but there has been a couple of times where pop corn won out, and also beetroot with salad cream - not too bad you might think... but LOVE salad cream and am a heavy user (half a bottle) given half the chance.

So:
I am eating too much - whether its wet or dry - because I am still hungry
I am not losing weight progressively
I am scratching in the cupboards way too often

I booked an appointment with Wendy from the http://www.wlsgroup.co.uk/ on Sunday. I am exactly the same weight that I was at my last fill back on 5th October 2008 - 16 stone 8. So it would seem that after having my disastrous unfill on 10th August 2008, where I was gaining 2 pound a week, every week until the fill on 1oth October, that last fill obviously Stalled my weight gain, but is not enough to enable me to lose weight nicely.

I need a top up.

Wednesday, 7 January 2009

Weightloss is so annoyingly boringly slow....

*Deep sigh*

This week I lost half a pound...

yay

Trying to get enthused, but just cant manage it.


Been good this week so far though. We bought the game Fit for the Wii... its a board that works with the Wii console and it measures your morbidly obese carcass and tells you what your real age is and horrors like that. It is also exceedingly fun. I have been snowboarding, skiing, ski jumping, tightrope walking, step class, jogging and other things... very interesting.

So just since Monday I have done 1 and a half hours of sports that I would never have done in my life! I didn't get puffed out - even after jogging for 6 minutes - which I was amazed at, but you certainly feel like you have worked out a little. Its raised your heart rate and got you moving. I did a Free Step class for 10 minutes and did 1000 steps. That's not bad really. Hmmm 1000 steps in 10 minutes = Pretty cool in my book.

So we shall see.

Went to the cinema this evening and saw Twilight. Wow, that's a good film. Really dark and Gothic and none of this gratuitous sex that makes me wanna puke. It was very romantic. I think romance is dead after passion is fulfilled anyway... I am a realist. Sorry. So this was really nice. Very striking and I would actually like to see it again. Makes the way for a #2 as well which is cool.

We also have a place around here where they flood the field and you can go ice skating... its really excellent. Here is a video of DS mucking about on the ice on Monday afternoon. The sunset was amazing.



This week has also seen the house filled with prospective housemates... The girl who booked the room, Wendy with the little dog Betty, could not take the room after all... some cack about her dad losing his job bla bla... and then we didn't really have any interest and I was starting to get a bit desperate. Today however, we had a guy from China want the room, 4 other people come to look and I even turned down 3 people over the email because a guy called Rob took the room immediately and paid 2 weeks in advance. So he is moving in on Monday. Hes only going to be here 4 nights a week, as his home is further North and he just couldn't hack the 2h 30m each way commute any more. That's gotta hit the wallet with petrol too. So we look forward to getting to know him. He has already completely won over DH and DS with his cool Google phone. It has this thing where you can hold it up and it shows you the stars... so you can be wandering along and think "Hmmm whats that star then?" and you can find out... loads of all singing and dancing bits of technology that seduce me like a pair of socks would...

Anyway, seems nice enough apart from that, so that's it for today.