Tuesday, 10 February 2009

Cant sleep

I have dreadful asthma right now and cant sleep... I think I could if weren't for DH's terrible snoring. Grrrr

So I am awake at 4am.

So... what do I have to tell... hmmm... well the garage is nicely changing into a bedroom. It should be done very soon. all the walls are done, its insulated and everything is toasty. Its amazing that the house is so warm now... having that hole cut in October we didn't kind of notice the chill difference at first because it kind of wasn't that cold back then, so it kind of crept up on you. Since the garage door has been completely blocked off its amazing. I haven't caught myself turning the thermostat up or sitting with blankets on the sofa of an evening. Little things like that. So no more drafts which is great. Next things to happen are the light switch wiring (tomorrow evening) and the ceiling (also tomorrow evening), both of which I can't help much with as brute force is required for the latter, which I just don't have. Yep, I am a weed. Rob is back for the week, so he has offered to help. Seeing as he is the one who is going to be using the room as a bedroom... well more like a suite really... its kind of worth it for him as then he can move in really soon. After the ceiling is in... its just the skirting boards and then over to me to wallpaper it, paint it out and carpet it. Oh yeah, we still need to do the door, but that's not a problem at all. We will get a spare door from the dump and paint it up and all will be great.

The dump is an amazing place to pick up stuff like that. I begrudge paying £30 for a brand new moulded door, when some of the doors down the dump are solid hardwood, nothing wrong with them and only a £5. This room needs a thick door because its straight onto the lounge so noise will be a problem as its now going to be a bedroom. We are not early to bed people either and when TB is in a better frame of mind, they are often over and we get chatting with her and her hubby into the small hours. Or should I say laughing and joking and shrieking with mirth...

Tb is not a happy bunny at the moment either. She is really struggling with seasonal affective disorder. She gets it every winter, but this year has her at her knees. Its so bad. When someone really truly suffers from this its so debilitating. Its not just some quack affliction. Obviously there is little I can do to help her; she has withdrawn into herself and her home, doesn't want to socialise and is angry, argumentative and tearfully distressed and shes kind of keeping her distance from everyone. I wish she would go and see a doctor and get some medical help because it does work. Her routine is absolutely messed up too... sleeping in the day, awake at night. Its dreadful. it happened bad like this about 5 years ago and it took a good 4 months for it to work its way out of her. When it happens really band like this the body gets into a funny state and when the better weather comes, you are sleeping the daylight hours and therefore don't benefit from the sunlight. It takes so much effort for her to force herself to change that. Its a bit like coming out of hibernation. It will be April before she is better.

Band news... I am tight. Its fabulous. I am not hungry at all and as long as I stay away from chocolates and wine I think we will be kicking some fat losing butt shortly. I am going to try really hard this month and push to get under 16 stone because I know psychologically that will give me such a thrill and I will know I am back in the zone. Then it will be my aim to get under 15 stone 7. Its not that far away... a stone at the most. 1 stone is so nice to focus on as it seems within the realms of possibility. Its hard to look at the small picture when you are always thinking of losing 7 stone or something. the thing is... I only need to lose about 4 stone now. It used to be 7, and I keep thinking I still need to lose that amount, but I really don't. Its quite amazing to think that even if I get to my goal on my weightloss ticker, I am a 1/3rd of the way there. I like thinking about things like that.

where I struggle is on a small scale. I struggle keeping it together from 1 day to the next. I will have to make it a goal to stick to my regime of good eating daily rather than thinking of a weekly weigh in. If I think weekly, then the first few days often go by without me being very good at all and then I kind of cheat a little bit each other day. What I need to do is think "Today I am going to be 100% on plan" and then do it the next day too, and the next day... etc. If I have one good week like that maybe it will break my bad habits... who knows.

Anyway, I am actually feeling really tired and I need my inhaler again too. All this building dust is getting to me I think. So night night.

1 comment:

  1. I'm an asthma sufferer so you have my sympathy. As for the small stuff - that is what it's all about - day at a time.... You're doing well.