Monday, 5 October 2009

Thinner

I shifted 1 and a half pounds this week. YAY!

I am really glad I got a result today, but thank you Tina for you words of wisdom. You are right... it would only be water weight. But thankfully i don't need to worry about that.

And for Cara - and maybe everybody else - I have had my band for 2 years and 8 loooong months.

That's obviously a heck of a long time. So on that theme, as I am sure that people will wonder "2 and a half years? Crikey - what has she been doing for that amount of time and only lost 27.5lbs?", I think I should write an update.

Actually, since having my band I have only lost 1 Stone & 1lb (15lbs or 7kgs )

My weight ticker at the top of my blog shows the weight I have lost since I started my very aptly named Weightloss Expedition back in 2005. I lost the other 12 and a half pounds through slimmingworld.

I must stress that my journey has been fraught with difficulties, bad band management, ruptured band, further surgery and emotional a psychological issues and possible bulimic tendencies throughout my bands life history.

I started the blog back on 8th January 2005 when I decided that I didn't want to be fat anymore. We had just got back from 2 weeks in USA, my son had turned 5yrs old, we had just started home educating him and my husband had lost his job. Me not eating quite so much seemed like a good plan!

It was one so called cheesecake -quark, gelatine, splenda, teaspoon of baileys and 2 boudoir biscuits for a base- that tipped me over the edge of all reasonableness and had me booking lap band surgery.

It was a split moment decision. As my will power, self esteem and strength gave out, my hefty bulky backside gently slid down the dishwasher, tears streaming down my ruddy cheeks. I landing with a soft plop on the kitchen floor, offending 'cheesecake' still in my chubby mitts and sobbed quietly to the kitchen cupboards.

After a few moments of being at THE lowest ebb of my life, I got up. I Threw the foul fake pudding in the bin and ordered a 16inch pizza. Whilst waiting for it to arrive I typed Bypass into google. I came to the decision without asking anyone else's opinion, not even my husbands, and decided on the band over bypass fairly early in the searching session. I had found EOC within about 3 hours (DON'T use them btw!) and had mailed off my vital statistics, and also applied for a loan to finance the job. I ate the pizza, ate a jar of nutella swilled it down with lashings of wine and coffee with sugar and then went to bed. By 11am the next day I had my surgery booked for 3 weeks time. I raced around to my very good friend's house. Her name is TB - not because she has a wasting lung disease, but because she was my Travelling Buddy and we go everywhere, and have been everywhere together. I told her the news, then asked her to come with me all expenses. She said yes.

The rest you can read here: *Brugge*

I lost weight nicely, and was down to about 16 stone 6 by May 2007 (about 7lbs less than I am now). Then all hell broke loose. My band broke. Inside me. No one worked it out. I was in agony. FOR 6 MONTHS.

I had really REALLY dodgy aftercare. The Doctor told me to eat under 100ocals and it would happen. He failed to notice that there was no fluid in my band at all and each time he filled me (up to 11cc at one point! No restriction?? Idiot!) that the fluid simply went into my muscle tissue and abdominal cavity. He even managed to draw back blood into the syringe on one occasion when he decided to check my fluid level because I was concerned. This apparently was 'normal'.

It goes without saying that I was exceedingly perplexed and gaining weight, in pain, but a DOCTOR was telling me everything was fine. It's a hard thing to think a doctor is wrong... so although i knew he was... I just went along with it like a dumb ass.

I do not joke when I say I was in agony. Even the NHS hospital I went to after the band broke failed to help me after giving me a stomach X-ray and an ultrasound. No one told me. I was desperate. I could hardly work, we had to hire a housekeeper because I could not even cope with normal household chores. I was fully depressed and on Prozac and codeine daily for the pain. I had a couple of infections on my port site because of the fills, and no one helped me.

In the end, a contact recognised my patten of problems as similar to another of her contacts, (who is referred to as 'the informer' on my blog- if you read that far back), and she ended up telling me practically the same story as me, expect that she got herself sorted very quickly. I ended up travelling back to Brugge to see Dr. Dillemans for a check up and immediately he located the problem.

I was operated on the next day and my band was finally fixed on 9th November 2007. My bunk Mate from the initial surgery was also suffering the same problems, and travelled to Belgium the following week. Same story.

If you have supposedly have loads of fluid in your band, but still no restriction I THOROUGHLY suggest an X-ray to check your band is still connected to your tubing. You needn't suffer pain as I had. Bunk Mate had initial pain, but thought it was a pulled muscle. She had no other pain apart from piling back on the weight she had lost. Get it checked out!

We had all suffered due to a batch of faulty bands, which had not been recalled. We were given our revision surgery for free and all costs paid. I was also paid out compensation. However, for about a year after it was fixed I did not have my head on right. It was so traumatic I can't even fully explain, but I just lost complete confidence in my provider, my band, the success stories - everyone who lost weight with a band was obviously a downright liar - and I just didn't and couldn't get it together.

In the end, I got a new aftercare provider www.wlsgroup.co.uk and they were great. Its not a plug or anything; they helped me. I was still struggling emotionally, but after seeing Wendy, getting a few fills etc, I started losing weight. It was only the other week I realised how well I had been doing actually and blogged about it a few posts ago I think. But things were ok. I was losing weight nicely and got down to 15 stone 7lbs ( 217) which meant I had lost 33lbs with the band. Things got a bit wobbly though and I had an unfill in September last year. That was a disaster. Really I should maybe had advice like - go on liquids for a week and see how you feel. I basically had been irritating my pouch and a 1ml fill was way too much. So that's why it has taken me a year to get back to restriction as I blogged a few posts back. I have basically just been pissing about for a year like a yo yo.

So that is my very quick band story for those who haven't read my blog from the beginning - which is probably most of you - but I don't want to scare anyone. Its just what happened to me. It was a lot more drawn out, there are lots of tips that by reading them you might be able to spot the danger signs for your own self, or maybe gain some inspiration. A lot happened in the last 2 and a half years, and I was in the dark and on my own mostly. I don't frequent the message boards because the advice is always wack and high-horsey and they DON'T understand the background which is impossible to sum up in a few words... so I just avoid them. When I was seriously ill for those 6 months I posted untold messages trying to get some advice. No one gave me advice or anything that helped at all. My banding experience has been done by ME alone, and its probably been flawed and I have made very bad decisions along the way.

So that's why I have been banded for over 2 and a half years and only lose 15lbs. But last week I had only lost 13 and a half...!! I lost 1.5lbs this week. Yippee - I - ayyyy!!!

I am on the road to slim now, and I have good restriction. I have learned my lessons the VERY hard way, and I don't intend to make them again. I have a positive metal attitude, by work sucks, but at least I got rid of some pupils who made it suck hard. Things are looking up. I have lost each week (yeah, OK not every week, but that was swine flu false reading alright???!!!) and have lost a total of 6 and a half pounds in 3 weeks. That is gooooood news.

This band things works, but if you want to stay fat, you can, and will. You have to WANT to change.

I want to.

Oh, and by the way... anyone having troubles with the band...? I have pretty much had the lot. Be my guest and I will try and help you if I can.

5 comments:

  1. Wow Bunny, that is some summing up of your story. Glad you are feeling so positive right now, hope it continues.

    My banding story isn't/wasn't all plain sailing, but a tight band in the end = weight loss.

    I like your quote "if you want to stay fat, you can". Sad but true. I used to contemplate jaw wiring (even after I was banded)

    Now, I love my band. But I am always wary, always watching and suspicious of an extra two pounds here or there. I didn't get fat overnight, I did it by two pounds every other week. . .

    Best of luck and keep in touch - how is the home ed going?
    Hx

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  2. woohoooooooooooooooooooo. You do realize with the water gain you will lose even more in a week or so.

    Tina

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  3. Bloody hell Bunny - I'd no idea it had been so hard for you. But your inner strength and determination to overcome it has been astonishing, and what an example to follow! I was quite worn out by the time I got to the end. Only one real comment - how could you not succeed after all that?
    Sooo recognised the misery plus pizza syndrome...
    I'll read it again later (if I can stand it!).
    Caroline

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  4. What a disaster!!! So glad it's all been cleared up now, but really...that is a lot of stress!

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  5. Holy Bloody Heck!! is all I can say. I actually HAD read your blog from the beginning (yours was one of the first I read when I was looking at the band) but I have to be honest.. I had forgotten most of it.

    Your summing up was brilliant... and scary. That you could go through all that and still stay on the straight and narrow just gives you props for your strength and determination. You're fantastic!!

    I, like you, pretty much made a snap decision about getting a band in too... I had of course heard stories about it but when I ran into a friend who had lost 40 kilos with it.. well, it pretty much sealed my fate. I guess that puts us in the same group: those who make quick decisions and then have the steep learning curve AFTER the fact lol

    No matter what you feel: believe that you are doing a most excellent job. You really are. And I'm here cheering you on!!!!
    Hugs
    Cara

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