Tuesday, 23 December 2008


Oh, I feel sick with pleasure!

Oh my goodness, I feel like I am going to explode with happiness

I told the stupid COW that it wasn't working out - understatement I know - and she just rolled over and said that was fine and she would move out no worries.

She goes on Wednesday! How cool is that? I was so stressed about this situation, and now its finally over I am so drunk on the love I have for sweet justice that its just unreal.

This evening, if I had had any doubts in my mind whatsoever, then what follows sorted that...

I served a lovely soup for starter... Potato and Caraway. Everyone except her ate the lot and wiped the bowl clean with their roll. She had 1 teaspoon. Actually thats exaggerating a little... she had half a teaspoon.

Then the main was roasted veg (sweet potato, parsnip, onion, pepper) with a garlic and tomato sauce and green salad:
We have always ALWAYS eaten as a family. It doesn't matter who you are, if you come to our house, and its dinner time, you eat with us and you're at at the table. With the lodgers... I mean we don't really know who any of them are and its a chance to get to know each other and share the day and be sociable... Beeeyatch from hell has tried to schlep on us many times and today she just wasn't going to get away with it. So after pushing the soup about with her spoon and looking like she would vomit at any moment just for being around us she announces as I am dishing up the main course:

AMY: "I will eat my main in my room"
Me: "Actually do you mind not eating in your bedroom as I would rather the furniture not be ruined"
AMY: "I'm not going to eat it on the bed, I will sit at the desk!!! "
Me: "Yeah, but I would still rather you didn't."
AMY: *roll eyes* "fine. I will eat on the sofa later"
Me: "Hmmm, same thing really. Can you eat at the table like (A NORMAL HUMAN) usual?"
AMY: "grunt"

What the **** is wrong with her...? I don't know anyone else from Kenya, but seriously she is just off the wall weird. Trying to be nice, I asked her what her favorite food was and she replied:

"Maize and beans - every tribe has their favorite food".

I mean seriously... maize and beans??? Are you joking me? With all the different foods there are available in the WORLD, her favorite food is maize and beans? I like sweetcorn. I like beans. Give them to me as part of a meal and you are rocking. Wow, no wonder she doesn't like Roast chicken breast with Cream, shallot, garlic and bacon sauce served with haricot vert and colcannon. How awful to have to eat my food. The poor cow... how terrible I am!


SHUU UP. She has lived in the UK for 4 years. Apparently until she came here she had never had cheese... That's right cheese! I am surprised that someone from Kenya or anywhere in Africa can be that flippant with food. When you consider the fact that there are people starving in her own country, here she sits poking my food about like its some kind of slow poison. Well sorry Lady, you can just sod right off. I have bent over backwards for the cow and she is plainly a selfish, arrogant, pig ignorant, rude, contrary, argumentative wench.

Good riddance and God help your next landlord.

Just in case you tastebuds are tickled by the delicious maize and beans prospect.. here's a recipe for how to make it. Be prepared though... its really difficult, time consuming and hard, but the delicate and refined taste is obviously better that anything that western foods can deliver... be prepared for a taste sensation of your lifetime:

Recipe for Githeri:
1 cup Maize
1 cup Beans (kidney or similar)
Cook equal quantities of maize and beans in water for several hours until soft. Serve alone or with unripe cooked bananas.

Wow, that sounds just awesome. *Spews into hankie*


  1. Great it's worked out for you.

  2. That sounds freaking delicious! I'm going to serve it for christmas dinner... Who needs turkey with the trimmings when you have such a tastebud tantelising treat like bean and maize?!?!

    Merry Christmas honey!!