Monday, 23 November 2009

Feeling up for it....?

Ok, I think I am ready to give this a go, I've been in a dark place there for a few weeks. I am not going to worry about the band, how its working, not working or if it makes any goddamn difference to my life at all except for making me puke if I eat too much.

Its 2 years since my band was fixed. 2 LONG YEARS. I have got down to 15 stone 6 (216lbs) at my lightest and am now 16 stone 13.5lbs (237.5). When my band was fixed I weighed 17 stone 12 (250lbs) so I have lost the sum total of 12 and a half pounds in 2 years with my band alone - no dieting particularly, but thinking about stuff obviously. That is SHIT SHIT SHIT. I know I don't play the game, but nor do others entirely. This is not a quest for making a band work. This is a quest for losing weight in any way possible AND sorting out the underlying issue for being overweight in the first place. I started the blog with that intention 5 & half years ago. That intention has not changed. If I realised that sleeping upside down is the only way to lose weight I would try it. I cannot think about my band right now. The band is not the reason I am gaining/losing weight. Something else is driving me to overeat IN SPITE of having a band. That is the issue I must resolve if I have any chance of using my band as the tool it was designed for.

So this last week i have lowered my MSG foods a little bit, not a lot, but I certainly didn't eat the quantity of sauces this week. I felt some craving and funnily enough when I had craving I couldn't eat it because of the band! Sod's law!

I had about 3 tight days last week, had a coffee or 2 in the morning but then make a mistake like swallowing a tablet or having a sneaky bite of DS lunch that would then throw my band into "NO WAY JOSE" mode and that was that for the day.

That said, I didn't have too many pukes... only when I was being a stupid git, getting annoyed with my band and getting a bit desperate.

Like the night we went out for a dinner at Spiceland. DH runs the badminton club now because the chap who set it up was leaving, and we all did a surprise dinner for him at the curry house. Before he arrived we all ordered drinks and my orange juice was a no go on first mouthful. Have no idea why, but my band, Albert Ladysmith Steptoe, didn't want orange juice. He certainly didn't want curry either and I sat with the bowl of curry sauce in front of me for 4 hours. In the end I tried to force him, but he kicked me and I had to run to the loos for relief.

That was just gutting. I paid £18 for a buffet indian dinner and a pint of orange juice that I didnt eat any of. The most expensive meal I've never had. We were there only 2 weeks ago for a friends wedding reception and everything was hunky dory. Such a fickle cantankerous little thing is Albert.

Had a couple of days like that, but I guess it was for the best as I lost 1 pound this week in spite of myself.

So yesterday was weigh in day. I decided that I might as well start cracking the whip at this body of mine and went completely MSG free yesterday.

I had mashed potato with scrambled egg for lunch/tea and then later I had some more mashed potato with cheese for dinner. I haven't got much stuff in at the moment, so this was a bit of an odd day to say the least! I don't normally just eat mashed potato!! I was really craving my sauces. It was all I could do in the evening not to grab some pickle to go with my mash or brown sauce or ANYTHING!

Anyway, I did it. I fed the Wiltshire farm food meals to the DH & DS and Onion (Charlotte our lodger's nickname) for dinner as, although they only contain Hydrolyzed Vegetable Protein - this is essentially MSG. Hydrolyzed anything contains high levels of MSG. I don't crave these meals, its mainly the highly flavoured sauces, but who knows how dark this will get.

I looked for some OXO or Stock cube substitutes. Organic thinks I. Well by law you are NOT allowed to put anything with MSG in it in an organic product. But its a bit like the stupid phrasing on labels:

No nuts (cannot guarantee nut free)
No Soya, Milk, Gluten (made in a factory that uses said products cannot guarantee free from said)

etc...

Just because its organic doesn't mean they cant use ingredients that contain MSG in it.
This from the SOIL ASSOCIATION:

Yeast and yeast extract are permitted as additives in organic foods, therefore there will be some MSG in organic foods which have added yeast, or yeast extract.

Well, that's good then. You can read the whole article here.
So you want to buy organic stock cubes? They have yeast extract in them. So you think ah ha!!! Look for yeast free!! Yeast free stock cubes have Maltodextrin! That's full of MSG too!

Now, there is NO Maltodextrin in the organic ones. that has Yeast Extract. In the Yeast free, there is no Yeast extract, but there is Maltodextrin. If they cant get it in there one way, its in there in another. Its like they WANT us to have it. Why? I have no idea. I don't want to have this blog getting all political and attacking food companies, but there must be someone out there who can produce a product that is PURE for goodness sake! Even when we TRY to do better, we fail because its side swipes us in another way.

So I have no other option but to start making my own stock. I have gone back to Fresh Whole Organic Milk - The lowest msg containing milk there is (we usually have UHT Skimmed - the highest MSG containing milk there is. No shit!), and the msg contained is naturally occurring not added or released by chemical process in some way - like Heat treating! I have gone back to pure block organic butter, fresh vegetables, brown rice (white rice is washed in some form of MSG containing ingredient before drying & bagging!), my own home made bread - which means I can actually make small rolls just for me too - organic meat that isn't full of fillers containing the shit and has breathed the same air I breath and ate the grass that I have walked on personally.

Out goes:
Mayo, malt vinegar, Worcestershire sauce, soy sauce, salad creme, cocktail sauce, tomato sauce, daddy/brown sauce, any other condiment sauce I love, butter/marg spreads, shop bought yoghurts, strong cheese, peanut butter, nutella, wine (unless home made), pre packaged meats, ready made meals, jars of cooking sauce for pasta or casseroles etc, some spice mixes (especially sharwoods curry blends), stock cubes, packet soup mixes, canned soup, baked beans in tomato sauce, spaghetti in tomato sauce, bovril & marmite (or vegimite), all non organic pasta, coconut milk powder, and everything that has been adulterated in some way by food technicians.

Its back to basics.

I am currently enjoying a home made curry. I used a Sri Lankan curry powder which has whole spices and no additives - thankfully, seeing as I bought 2 huge tubs of it only a few months back and weirdly have only used once, and persisted with Sharwoods (and bought more of even though I have these 2 other tubs) which has MSG and Other hydrolyzed sexy goodies!! Funny that eh?

I made it with green lentils, chopped tomatoes & onions served with a packet of steamed rice which doesn't have any weird sexed up additives. Its nice, but I feel a bit in need still.

I know some might think I use sauce to help me eat things with the band, and to a certain extent that is true. I have loved sauce for years though. My binge foods have not changed for some time and looking back through this blog over the 5 years I have written it, I can see the foods in there that I still want, and some. In fact my binge foods have been drastically reduced by the band (donuts, cakes, much bigger indian takeaway and much bigger chinese meals and other volume foods like whole chocolate cheesecakes and pies etc which I just cannot cope with now). Sauce has always factored big, and I guess the band just adds to this crime. Looking through those lush foods I used to love pre banding, they are all highly processed, high in all kinds of autolyzed this and hydrolyzed that, heavy on flavour and essentially VERY high in free MSG of some description.

I think I have cracked my demon.

Obviously its not everyone's bag, and I must admit I have never come across another condiment abuser, but there must be others out there who just love their sauce!

Its Hypnotherapy tomorrow, so I am ready to ROCK this bodies WORLD!

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