Monday, 14 February 2011

4 Years ago...

Well what do you know? Time flies when you're not having fun.

All the ups and downs that the last 4 years have seen are pretty much accounted for here in this blog.

So, not being negative at all, but just wanting to re-cap

This time 4 years ago I weighed 18 (252lbs) stone exactly. Today I am about 18 stone 9lbs (261lbs 118kg)

What have I learned?

Not a whole lot to be fair. I have learned that nothing is a 'cure' for this hellish nightmare with our weight, although it seems some have better success than others.

I have learned that no one has the answer to whats going on in our bodies other than ourselves.

I have learnt that we are the masters of our own success or failure.

I have spent a considerable amount of money over the last 4 years on dieting, dieting aids, clothes (smaller and even bigger than pre banding), diet foods and not to mention fills - 20 fills over 4 years at roughly £125 a throw ain't great.

I am still battling my own inner voices, checking out food porn (cheers Tina), wishing I could do anything to turn the clock back and not have made those bad choices/taken on board those issues before they went out of control.

I am however, alive, banded, have a beautiful husband and child and not reached the age of 35 yet...

So, here's to another year of - oh please God hopefully - slimming.

p.s. am writing this at 3am because made a stupid stupid stupid mistake of having 3 clementine segments at 8pm. Whoops. Puked all three bits back out, but still haven't managed to eat dinner yet and am feeling woozy. Kind of given up on food, but my pills NEED taking tonight or I am shot.

4 comments:

  1. As I keep saying - you are SO brave. I'm in shock with the new look - is it because you feel you're in a cage? Guess that must be it. We always have hope, thank God.
    May I ask you a small favour as my resident computer security expert? Could you have a look at Debi's post here:
    http://hawaiiboundbandster.blogspot.com/2011/02/did-i-say-that-i-was-frustrated-before.html and tell me how dangerous this situation is? I got a letter like this from a friend a year ago, realised it was rubbish and deleted it, but Debi implies there's more to it.
    If you have the time that is, don't worry if you don't.
    Thanks a lot!
    Caroline

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  2. I think the food porn is normal and healthy...that's my story and Im sticking to it.

    Keep at it...if we never give up it never wins right?

    Can you crush those damn pills? I gave up more than having a bite of the insides of the orange years ages ago. Just frequent bites or eat it cooked.

    xxxooo 4 months until UK!!!!

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  3. Far out luv! you have freakin copped it alright! I love what Tina and Caroline have said can I get away with dittoing them???

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  4. course ya can shaggs x

    Thank you all... I will get there :-)

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