Thursday, 31 July 2008

Booking an unfill

I have taken a fellow bandit's advice and have requested to have some fluid out of my band.

This goes against everything I feel should happen with the band. I honestly thought that you just gradually get topped up and up and up etc and you slowly starve yourself thin. Extreme, but there is not a lot of info about exactly HOW it works for real.

I have heard about how people get to their sweet spot etc, but I just thought they had been filled enough and were losing weight.

Paying someone to TAKE precious fluid out of my band seems crazy in my mind, but I know that I have to stop thinking that. I am too tight. Eating is a chore. I am all consumed with food, and I am thinking about nothing else other than eating or the lack of and this is making me feel like absolute rubbish.

Been looking back at my weight loss chart and I was going really well on 6.1mls, but had noticed the scales slowing down. My reaction was to get a little bit put in. Well 6.6mls is too much for me. Eating is a misery and a torture. I eat one mouthful and then cant have any more... this means that sometimes I don't even taste everything on my plate! I can cheat it a little bit. If I eat slowly to0 start with and then follow it with very wet food, I can eat more. But only in the evening. I very rarely eat before lunch time and today I ate my first thing at 3pm. That was a pot noodle. Nice and nutritious huh? Its wet, and slips down. That's what I am doing, just eating easy things and normally that means calories.

I would give anything just to be normal, and basically that 0.5mls has made too much difference. So I emailed Michelle at the WLSgroup today to book an appointment to take some fluid out. I cant do this any more. I feel exhausted from thinking about food; throwing it away kills me, eating it kills me, not eating enough is killing me, binging on junk is killing me.

I have not lost a bean for ages and I know its because I am trying to make myself feel better with food... food like chocolate and crisps which I can eat.

So will, keep you posted.

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