Tuesday, 15 July 2008

I have hit the wall

I have dreams about NOT having my band. I dream I can eat whatever I want and I can eat it quickly. Donuts especially.

I am in a real mess guys. I have no will power left and all I can think about is BLOODY FOOD.

I don't need it... I WANT it. I just keep wanting something tasty, something savory, something sweet... just anything.

I need some advice to help me psychologically about this as its my mind doing overtime.

Here are some things that I think are niggling me and making me want food:

Money - just worried non specifically about not having enough really
My pupils exam results - especially a grade 8 student
Finishing work for the summer - on Saturday I wrap up for the year... which also brings us back to money or the lack of for 6 weeks.
DS's home education - next year its year 5 work. VERY worried about his handwriting.
My brothers wedding on 9th August and what I will look like, feel like and who I will be seen by (eg B'hurst People from school who I haven't seen for years and who last saw me at 9 stone something and don't want to look like a fat gone to pot, let myself go mother - which indeed I am!)
About the amount of people in the house - 8! Us three and Sue, Lotse, Csilla, Lilli and Trish and the fact that people are living on our drive in a caravan for heavens sake and we only have 1 loo in the whole house!
My hair. It's awful.

Theres a starter for you... come on then, sort me out.


  1. Well im with you on the money worries! This inflation, gas prices etc are BAD! Our pay check which used to be easy to keep ahead of has now gone to pot! We are being really careful and still running out at the end of the month.

    I think, from what I have read, that this head hunger thing is common. You have to start working through the food thing just like a smoker has to come to terms with he/she never having a cigarette again even though they may crave one at the damnest times. I do want to ask though-how is your fill? do you perhaps need another? I hear you can go great guns for while and then book its time for an adjustment again because you have lost weight and there is just more room now. What do you think on that score??

    Your son-well as you may have read I'm bailing on the home school thing-mostly because I need to work and juggling has not been going well. She is bored when I try to work. ON a good note i did find a really good school that has very small class sizes and they use educational methods that I totally agree with. We will have to move or take on a 20 minute drive each way for this though! I wouldnt worry too much about your sons penmanship. I teach at a university and I never get anything written by hand! It all comes typed (I would worry more about keyboarding skills then penmanship!!)

    on the houseful!-you do have a full house for one bathroom! Will they go home soon? you are definitely going to have to put together a shower schedule!!! :) ahha

    Finally looking bad when you see your old schoolmates. Dont even worry about it!! I have been to two of my school reunions (we have them over here) and EVERYONE went to pot!! all the guys had gone bald and all the girls had gone to fat. The only person who looked better was the girl who was really fat in school-she lost a tremendous amount of weight and I was so happy for her in showing up all of the old snooty people.

    Hair! Hair! I think yorur hair looks good! If it was you in the piano picture and I think you said it was

  2. Bunny Hun .. you are looking absolutely amazing. I no longer recognise you in comparison to the woman I meet in a waiting room many months ago. That gorgeous maroon number you're wearing in the previous post just highlights how dead sexy you're looking. You're caneing this band thing. I have managed to put on a stone back in Oz after having my band loosened to enjoy some home foods I've missed for five years. Going back for fill next week to get things back in hand.

    You're doing beautifully ... we all have these weird mind thrashings from time to time.

    Love to you.

    Miss Dee

  3. I think we all hit plateaus...including our brains. Is there something you can do to replace the food your head is wanting? A fun thing, reward, distraction? Is there a song quote you can run through your head that will prevent you? Is there a fantasy that you can play out in your mind that will help you achieve the goals, i.e. A certain someone you really want to see after you've reached your goal...or a specific outfit you want to wear, or a certain place you want to go that you didn't feel comfortable at a larger weight?

    I think about a song quote and an outfit and see myself there. "She was a long cool woman in a black dress".. and I picture myself in a fitting black dress, high heels, looking confident as I walk into the room, and it's the confidence that makes the heads turn...not necessarily what I'm wearing. I think a lot about that. And I think about shooting pool and looking good doing it without my belly hanging down. And I think about ditching my blood pressure meds.

    My fingers are crossed and my prayers are with you.