Sunday, 26 April 2009

Lovely

Hi there people,
Thanks for all your support. I guess I cant just put a statement on this blog and not explain :o)

Yeah, at the moment me and the band are not friends. I don't know whether its a head thing or what, but something ain't right. I don't seem to feel the way everyone else with a band feels.

My band wont let me eat anything half decent until at least 8pm. I spend most of my day starving hungry and only able to 'eat' liquids. When I get to the end of my tether I make some mash potato or something and try and eat it in nibbles, but it more often than not comes right back at me... this can go on for hours until the magic 8pm watershed and then all of a sudden I can finish the whole bowl off.

Then its bedtime and I know the whole rigmarole will start again the next day.

Some people suggest that my band is too tight. Well, I am sorry, but its not. I have been down the 'take some out' road with disastrous effect many times. They take out a bunch of saline and I spend maybe £400 getting it all topped up to the right point again... but staggeringly THAT POINT NEVER COMES!

I am not joking. I can be wide open and able to eat a whole pizza... go for a fill and be able to eat half a pizza, go for another fill and be able to eat 1/4 then another one and I suddenly can't eat anything, then I go back and have another tiny bit out (less that was originally taken out) and I can eat a whole flaming pizza again!!!!!!!!!!

This farce has got to end. I am so hacked off with my band I can't begin to describe it.

Couple that with the fact that I have had the operation twice and it still ain't working...

Obviously people are going to read this and think "well, if you eat pizza then...Pheph!" But I am just using it as an example. I actually cook all my food from scratch. I eat organic (heniously expensive) meat and veggies and limit oil etc etc.

The killer for me is actually the hellish nightmare BAND! Because I cant eat like a normal human being I actually feel my mood slide during the day and I feel like getting out the aspirin, a carving knife and a needle and thread and sorting the blasted thing out once and for all. It gets to 8pm and I am exhausted at the effort needed to eat. Every bite is a torture and I am fed up with it - then i grab chocolate and crap and sit in a puddle of dispair and self loathing feeling the pits of the deepest darkest prehistoric stinky swamp for eating rubbish.

I was 18 stone when I had this thing done 2 and a half years ago, and now I am 16 stone 9.

I am tearing my hair out and to be honest I think I would be better off without it. Like everyone, I was prepared to put in the hard graft, but I have been grafting for 2 and a half years and getting nowhere. Most of you who have struggled the same amount of time have actually lost loads of weight and life is looking great. My life is the exact same because every day I get on the scales it reminds me that I pissed £4500 down the toilet. I wish I had never bothered.

That's gonna annoy anyone off right?

Abuse and correct at will my freinds... somethings got to work.

5 comments:

  1. After reading your post I've been checking out "problems with gastric band" on the internet, and there's so much that it's made my head spin, and I realise I don't know enough about you to do other than give irritating advice.
    What does come across to me from your post is that you need a long talk with a proper expert - perhaps, sadly, at a certain cost - to figure out where you go from here, as clearly the discomfort you're going through is causing you too much stress, and that can't be good for you anyway.
    I do think though that if you have it removed it certainly will be pissing £4,500 down the toilet...
    Keep on blogging to tell us how you're doing, won't you? This is partly heart-felt sympathy, but also I think we all need to know how you're getting on, if you're willing to write about it.
    Good luck - and thanks. Caroline

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  2. No abuse from me...sounds like you've been to hell and back and are still not right. I can hear your frustration... and now you know it isn't working for you. But something is working - you've still lost (not as much as you want)and you say you have restriction - until 8pm... So why fight it? Eat yoghurts or slimfast shakes to get your daily vitamins and then eat your sensible organic meal at 8pm. Are you allergic to your band?

    Gosh I sound like a mum giving advice...I don't mean too. You just sound so unhappy.

    Take care

    Dawn
    xx

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  3. Hey, thanks ladies. You know what, I need to take both your advice really. When I can afford it I have to sit down with someone and sort this shite out. On the other hand why am I fighting it?? I SHOULD just drink Slimfast and eat custard and then eat my meal in the evening. I just seriously didnt think it would be like this. I honestly thought I would be able to have a breakfast, lunch and dinner... but it just doesnt seem to be what it wants to do.
    Still feeling a tad deflated, but rational.
    Cheers peeps.
    xx

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  4. Damn damn damn-I had a whole long cheer up pal page long thing written for you and it all disappeared.

    I agree with everyone. Keep you chin up! I know you can do it! I think all of the blogging and online information is a little misleading sometimes. Maybe there are people out there who eat three solid meals a day but of all of the 100 pound losers out there I have talked to they all at least drink their breakfast. Many of them have soup for lunch too. I can't eat three meals a day and I don't think most people can.

    Breakfast and lunch are difficult for me just now but instead of fighting it I am eating soft stuff for breakfast and lunch and then trying a solid dinner.

    Those soft meals can be real too-like oatmeal and cream soups? I would be hesitant at slim fast but maybe if you could thicken it up just a tad so there is something sitting in your stomach for the afternoon? I am biased though-cant stand the things!

    Keep trying bunny! I want to come over one of these days and carry our skinny arses out for a drink!!

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  5. So glad that you're being honest! Thats the main thing. You can't change what you don't acknowledge!

    I completely agree that you need to sit down with a certain person and have a true heart to heart about what your expectations were and how the band can work for you.

    I really don't even eat properly until the afternoon / evening, so you're not alone there. That's NORMAL for me now... maybe that's where you need to get your head to ... what's "normal" for you?

    Lots of Love from Australia!!

    LBG xx

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