Day 23

It's belch central here.

I have had the worst burps ever today! Real big MAN burps!! :o)

Its well funny, DS is extremely impressed.

Today has been particularly humdrum. Got up, did the housewife job, then did the school teacher job, then went to work and did my real job, then came home and did the wife and mum job and now I have time for myself (half ten at night) I am writing this.

Today's meals have been what I would call proper-ish. I didn't have breakfast as I wasn't hungry at all. As i wasn't hungry, I took the advice just to drink, so I have a couple of cups of coffee mid morning and then a pint of squash. There is no resistance at all to liquid now.

Just before lunch I had an:
Ella's smoothie = 52 cals

And then for lunch I made 50g pasta with half a can of tuna and 100g of arabiatta sauce.
Total lunch = 349 cals

I had 2 more smoothies, a red and a yellow, at work:
2 x smoothies 110 cals

For dinner I had:
2/3rds pack of Birds Eye roast beef in gravy = 153 cals
Heinz toddler meal 'sweet potato and beef casserole' = 169 cals

Total today = 833 cals

Not bad!
I have felt that today I ate quite a lot at my meals, but I made a conscious choice to eat the protein part first, and to make sure that I got 60g of protein in my diet today, as that is supposedly what we should all aim for before anything else.

I am going to try and do that each day, but its getting out of habits that's the hard bit. I am still used to going to the cupboard and grabbing some noodles or a can of beans, because I have been following a practically vegetarian diet for 2 years. I have to get used to thinking about protein first rather than bulking on carbs. Carbs fill you up, but I don't have that problem now!! So I can eat meat and fish to my hearts content. I am looking forward to having some prawns. I haven't had them for a while in a nice dressing! Mmmmm. Lots of pepper and they are yummy! Just like my Dad there I feel!

You might not believe this, but I am surprised to see how little calories I am eating. When I get the calculator out to count the days cals up I always think its going to be horrendous. Just shows how your mind controls a lot of our guilt and gets it soooooo wrong! I wonder how many times I have felt guilty when in fact I was ok, then ruined and sabotaged my weight loss because my mind thought it had been bad?? Interesting. Its so messed up. I am just over three weeks into band land and I feel like I have given up smoking, or drinking or some weird fetish or an anti social behaviour. I kind of feel like I should attend AA!! It funny how it feels to be banded. It is like giving up drugs, but still having them. Odd it really is.

Like going to AA and then going down the pub. Like going to NA and then having a spliff on the way home. Like fronting an anti smoking campaign, and then sneaking out the back for a ciggy.

I think us serial dieters deserve a lot more respect for our struggle with weight than we actually get.

How long would a heroin addict be able to stay of the smack if he HAD to have 1 hit a day?

How long would an alcoholic stay sober if he HAD to have just one drink a day?

We have to have 3 meals a day. We cant give up our drug. No one realises that when we slip of the wagon, it is usually every meal.

I think we deserve a bit more credit for how much effort we give to fighting this disease, because that is what it is. Its a killer.