Well, a few days have gone by since I wrote out my heart.
I still feel disappointed by people, and it was made even clearer when I saw everyone on Sunday.
'friend' didn't bother coming up to see me. J or L didn't bother either. However, because I turned up on my crutch, pale as a vampire, a lot of other people said hi, and asked how I was.
That helped me a bit.
Today I have already had a good heart to heart with a lovely friend who I often overlook. She is someone I can always speak to, have a good old rant and a cry and everything. It is M who starred in this blog right back at the beginning when she asked me about talking her kids out of school and homeschooling in general.
It was M who I ha the 2 beetroot and cheese rolls with at the beginning of my weight loss journey and the beginning of this blog back in 2005.
M is a very busy woman, and she flies about all over the place and flits here and there, but she is solid. I called her this morning and said I needed a friend and you know what, I talked it all through and she said she had also felt exactly the same. We even went deeper into things that I can't be bothered to write here - little ins and outs of people and their characters as she has known them a lot longer than me etc.
We both had a cry together. We both sat for 2 hours but in the end it comes back to the fact that we all have to find out place. sometimes our place changes and we need to find a new one.
I said to DH last night that it's a bit like going to a charity dinner. There are loads of people on your table and you find the people who you are sat next too and who seemed nice during the first course have bored you to death, so you just move seats and strike up with others.
I think that's the way to play it.
Will write more later as got to go to work soon and am busy cooking a mac & cheese meal for one of my pupils families. Their Mum is having chemo at the moment so I said I would bring a meal for them every Monday when I come to do their piano lessons.