Wow, I cant believe its been a year since all that pile of cack went down. This time last year I was sitting in bed with my bunk mate in Brugge for the second time in a year awaiting surgery tomorrow morning.
So whats happened in a year..? Weight wise.. well I was 17 stone 12lbs this time last year and today I am 16 stone 7. So that's 1 stone 5 pounds off (19lbs) which I suppose I should be glad at.
Then of course I have spent about 4 months being too tight and not losing anything, and then 2 months being wide open and bunging on a stone while they oh-so-carefully put back in the precious fluid ml by ml which I had had removed in the first place (all at £85 a stab BTW!)
So, I am not too happy, but in a strangely better frame of mind about the coming year. I have lost 2 and a half stone since I had my band done. This is more than I EVER lost through slimming world, weight watchers, Atkins or any of those other pile of crap diets I tried. So success...? Yes I think so.
One thing that is resoundingly clear is that I fight the band. This is not the weight loss miracle that you think at the outset. Its beset with difficulties, misery and emotional problems - and that's if it goes ok! If it goes wrong, as it did with me, then add to that even more stress and misery and pain.
I constantly want a day off from my band and I don't think a day goes by when I don't wish I could eat *something* whatever it might be. Would I have it taken out? No. Would I do it again? Yes, I guess I would. I know deep down I just have to play along with this game and I will actually win. I do sometimes wish I went for the bypass... but on the other hand that can have its problems too so nothings as straightforward as we think it will be.
So onto the next phase.
I am secretly pleased that this year has gone because I feel like I am back where I should be and if I lose another 2 and a half stone this year I will be looking pretty fine.
I am going to go for it and not think back.
(famous last words right!)