A great result.

Been well good this week. Have followed the diet pretty much all week with the exception of a few days where I went over the syn level for the day. I have been making a lot of meals purely because we now have our Slovak lodger living with us. Because she gets a meal in the evening, it means I have to cook rather than just grab a sandwich.

Anyway, this week I lost....... 3 pounds!

Wooo hooo. This means I now weigh 17 stone 1 and a half pounds. I am well chuffed. I hope to lose next week too and it would be really fabulous if I was able to lose the 2 and a half pounds from my whole holiday weight gain, but I am actually not bothered if I dont. I would definately like to have lost though, and I will be annoyed if I have only lose half a pound or 1 pound or something.

I have not been so good this week. I have done a lot of walking and biking though because I now have a new bike. I also went to play badminton and did much more than usual. I bought a new bike as I thought it would help me and it definately has. I rode 6 miles last wednesday and then went to play badminton in the evening!!! WOW.

I have decided to change our slimmingworld class though. I am fed up with the consultant raising her eyes to heaven and being so bossy and rude to people. We will now go to another class which is not so close, but still nearby.

Anyway, watch this space for Monday's weight loss as I will now be goign on mondays.

Post Holiday Flab....

Went to France for 2 weeks. This meant in actual fact 3 weeks away from slimmingworld. I went to weigh in on Tuesday and it was not good really. It was 16stone 13lbs. So I had gained. Just havent been in the mood really. Anyway, that meant that I didnt bother with the diet from that point because I was going on holiday on the following Saturday. Then i was away from class for the next 2 tuesdays. I didnt see the point of doing the diet for the 2 days before the class after I got home as I knew I had put on.

Now remember, last year I put on 12lbs. I was a little worried, because I had eaten the same amount, if not more to be honest, this year!!! I certainly didnt worry too much about counting sins or having free food. The only exception being that I did try to eat fruit when I was peckish, but we ate out 4 times at an all you can eat buffet (MMMMMMmmmmmmm!) and had 3 macdonalds meals! Wine every day, for breakfast daily I had 3 pain aux chocolat.... etc etc.

So I was thrilled to find I had only put on 5 and a half pounds!! So after my holiday blow out I now weigh 17 stone 4 and a half pounds. This is great news for me. I feel motivated and happy to get cracking. I am over the moon that its not goign to take a long slog to get rid of my holiday weight.

More weight loss

This week I have had more accupuncture, but I didnt feel it the way I thought I would. This is the first time I have had a treatment and come out feeling like I need one. Oh well. I will see her again in 10 days anyway, so hopefully that will come around fast.

I lost another half a pound this week. I am pleased with that actually, even though I would have loved to have lost more.

I am feeling a little bit down this week though. I really think I am going to put on this week, and because I am already thinking that, it means that I am eating to comfort myself. WHY DO WE DO THIS!!!! This is like self sabotage. Someone somewhere must analyse the psychology of this crazy mind set. What is it that makes us fat people who are battling the bulge think this way. They (my collegues at slimmingworld) all understand what I mean, but my thin friends totally dont get it. And i actually dont want to feel like this but I simply cannot help myself!!!! TRAGIC.

Anyway, I will try and get myself together so that I can lose this week too. I only have 6 weeks before we go to France and I would love to have lost 3 stone by then (but i SERIOUSLY doubt thats going to happen![you see.... there we go again, always underestimating myself. its like if i say it is really unlikely, when it doesnt happen i dont get hurt any more. I should really learn to aim a bit higher, and not worry about the fall!])

So I now weigh 16st 8 and a half lbs. I have now lost 2 stone and 4lbs.
3 more pounds and I will have lost 2 and a half stone. So only 10 more pounds until I reach my goal for the holiday of 3 stone. That will actually be 3 stone in one year, because when I came back from France at the same time last year I was back up to my original weight for when I started the diet!! Grrrrr. So its nice. I remember saying on holiday to my 35 stone freind and his 9 stone wife (wow man... thats gotta hurt!) that this time next year I would be a lot thinner. Well I am getting there!!!

I am also about to buy a colonic board. A freind of mine bought it about 5 years ago and after being hauled halfway across the world it has sat in her loft unused. She is selling it to me as I have seen these mega gross out photos of what colonic irrigation gets rid of. It is unreal!! I do not want that plaque blocking up my vital organs. Its got to be bad for you. So I am having a colonic at a clinic nearby for £75 initial conflab and cleanse (my words not theirs!!) and then i will do the others at home. I would normally have a go on my own, but I want to get them to do it first so I know what goes on and what it should be like so that I can be more sure of myself when I do it in my bathroom. This colonic board is really good! Its really amazing. You get a chair in the bathroom and lie it on the toilet and chair and then you hop on. You let gravity filter 10 GALLONS of water into your bum and then wait for the fun to start!!! LOL Its not like an enema. This gets right up there into the center of the earth. I am really looking forward to it.

I will check in again soon people, and let you know how the colon cleansing goes. Apparently, it also helps your headaches, back aches etc etc. Clears skin and oh... did I mention lose weight? Hee Hee Hee Hee Hee

Result

Lost 2 pounds this week. This is an all time record!! I am now 16 stone and 9 pounds. I was also slimmer of the week and I got this really random Fridge magnet which said "If its going to be, its up to me!" - Inspired!! LOL
Anyway, feel good about the weight loss, even though I have not been a saint! I have had chinese because me and my hubby celebrated our meeting 10 years ago! I also went to France for the day and had salami danois and french bread, wine and a couple of chocolate brioche! So i am very pleased with 2lbs off. I simply cannot understand that I have lost less than this through following the diet completely. I am not goign to complain though. If it works, then great, at least I know that I can have treats when I want them and still lose.
Anyway, thats all folks. I will be having another session of accupuncture on saturday and hopefully that will keep me on track too!

What is going on??????

I really do not know what is going on with my body.
Last week I ate for England, and put on 1 lb. I was not happy with myself as you know, but I was still not too bothered to be honest. I think I thought that this week I would play catch up and put on loads of weight. I thought “right, I will get back on track” but actually didn’t. I went to my acupuncture on Saturday and she did some new needling in different places (elbow and a few more on legs than usual) and she also left some studs in my ears… 3 of them… that I am supposed to massage when I feel the urge to nibble. She said they do the trick, and for £30 a session I will try anything!! I don’t think I really thought that they would work too well, but I went to the weigh in today. It was all messed up as someone had double booked the hall and it was all squeezed into a little box of a room…. Anyway, I weighted in and I had lost half a pound. This REALLY is incredible!!!!!!!!!! I am honestly so amazed with acupuncture. I cannot believe I can eat what I did this week and LOSE weight. I thought it would be a miracle if I stayed the same let alone lose! I have been more careful this week…. I have not been a saint, but I have had about half of the weeks meals as diet meals I think. It made it easier having L & M over a few times and going to theirs a few times too, but I have had Chinese 2 times and fish and chips and also a couple of bottles of wine. I really thought I was going to cop it this week and put on about 5lbs so I had a good pig out last night. I had 3 crumpets with real butter, 2 hot cross buns with butter too, 4 slices of fresh crusty bread and butter and Bovril and half of a double chocolate fudge cake, so to lose half a pound after eating all of that is just debilitatingly unbelievable! I also had 2 magnum chocolate ice creams during the day aswell! To top the icing on the cake, I have the painters at home too!!!!! HA HA! How is this working? How can I lose weight like this? I have decided that I really do want to lose this weight, although my food choices for the last 2 weeks have looked as if I want to put it on, its just that I want to lose it eating the same. I know I cant do that. I will give this slimming world diet a full on new fresh start and consider myself as if I am starting a new diet today. I have been good all today. So far today I have had:
4 slices bread for my 2 B options (toasted)
diet flora spread (1 syn)
2 tomatoes
2 bananas
2 servings rice
1 large serving of Moroccan Vegetable dish (free on a green day) which includes courgette, spinach, tomato, garlic, peppers, quorn pieces, onions and Moroccan spices.
4 cups of coffee (1 A option = milk)
1 litre of water

So I will have a little something tonight, most likely yoghurt and fruit and maybe a glass of wine, but not going over my 10 syns.
What a good girl. If I put on weight next week I shall eat my flippin’ hat!!!!!!

REALLY can't understand it.

Right... get this. This week I started out weighing 16st 10.5lbs.
I have eaten in excess of:
Tuesday:

• 2 fried egg sarnies in oil and butter
• 2 large bars of cadburys dairy milk
• 1 chinese takeaway (Crispy aromatic duck, sweet and sour chicken hong kong style, prawn crackers[1bag!], egg fried rice and a pancake roll)
• 1 bottle of Merlot
• 2 kellogs nutrigrain bars
• 1 packet of apple crisps
• 2 slices of bread with branston pickle

TOTAL 125 SYNS

Wednesday:

• beans on toast
• 1 Indian takeaway (prawn puri, prawn dhansak, pilau rice and peshwari naan and mango chutney)
• 1 bottle chilled reisling

TOTAL 90 SYNS

Thursday:

• beans on toast
• 3 pork sausages in onion gravy, mash and peas
• jacket potato and coleslaw

TOTAL 20 SYNS

Friday:

• 4 slices of bread with salad and saladcreme
• lots of fruit
• 1 pizza (sweetcorn, tuna and jalapeno)
• 2 portions of garlic bread with cheese
• Bottle of red wine

TOTAL 120 SYNS

Saturday:

• sandwich with pickle
• fish and chips
• crusty bread (with real butter!!)
• 2 hot cross buns
• half bottle of merlot
• half a packet of pecan nuts

TOTAL 130 SYNS

Sunday:

• 3 hot cross buns with butter
• spaghetti on toast
• rice dish made with White wine and chicken and pork and olive oil... very lovely so very fattening
• ripe camembert and home made onion bread
• bread an olive oil
• 4 glasses of sweet white wine
• 2 glasses of dry sherry
• 1 glass of whisky and coke
• half a packet of pecans
• 1 muller light
• 1 chocolate nutrigrain bar
• 1 apple
• 4 packets of crisps

TOTAL 160 SYNS

Monday:

• 3 packets of crisps
• 1 large chocolate egg
• 2 packets of rolo's
• half a loaf of white bread
• rissoto with half a block of butter and 1 pint of white wine, mushrooms, tomato and garlic
• half a bottle white wine
• handful of cashews

TOTAL 160 SYNS

HOW ON THIS EARTH DID I ONLY PUT ON ONE POUND??????

I can be so good and put on half a pound and have 5 takeaway meals and put only 1 pound on. I expected to put on at least 6 pounds. This has really disheartened me!!!! I should feel glad that I have not put much on, but actually I feel really rubbish because I havent.

TOTAL 805 SYNS THIS WEEK!!!! I AM ALLOWED 70.

LAST WEEK I HAD 70 SYNS AND PUT ON HALF A POUND AND THIS WEEK I HAVE OVER 800 AND ONLY PUT ON 1 POUND.

RUBBISH.

Just can't understand it

I dont understand it. I put on half a pound. I am now 16 stone 10 and a half pounds. I have been a paragon of virtue. How is this possible?
deeply depressed and annoyed.

2 stone 2 and a half pounds down.... 6 stone to go!!! boo hoo

Have now lost a total of 2 stone and 2 and a half pounds. This is one year since I joined the Slimming Class. I have been and weighed in every week, unless I was on holiday, and in a year I have averaged a weightloss of half a pound a week. I am actually not very pleased with this.
The summer did a lot to knock my enthusiasm. I went up and down and up and down like the proverbial yo-yo. In November I had lost 1 stone 8 pounds in total, so I have only lost 8 and a half pounds since november. 4 and a half pounds of which i have lost in the last 3 weeks!!

I added up all my weightlosses and all my weight gains. I lost 5 stone in total and gained just under 3 in total. I cannot help but think that if I had not gained I would be 5 stone less rather than 2 stone less... its inevitable isnt it? I also cant help thinking that if I hadnt gone to class I would have probably been well over the 20 stone mark by now which is also quite horrifying!

I have tried to regain my motivation, but found myself lacking and so I have had accupuncture to try and help me rebalance my energy (mmmm) and kick start me again. I have had 4 sessions. After the first session I lost 3 lb. After the second I stayed the same. After the third session I lost 1 and a half pounds and I had the fourth session yesterday. I weigh in on tuesday, but I am certain that I have lost again. So accupuncture has done what I alone could not accomplish. I have lost 4 and a half pounds after accupuncutre in 3 weeks, and I know I have lost 4 pounds up until that point since november (3 months!!) So it seems like somethign is changing. I really am still comitted to losing this weight, but I just dont know why. I think i have to get to grips with why I want to lost the weight, because at the moment I dont really have a reason. Personally.

There are lots of reasons why I should lose weight - health and looks being two.... but I actually am not really bothered by either of them. Yes - ok - everyone wants to be healthy, but as a young person, death and health problems from obesity seem like it they happen to other people. Its like its not really going to happen to me. I know I am kidding myself, but surely that is every addicts problem. I dont believe that food will kill me, just like a smoker knows all the statistics stacked up against him! Its wont happen to us.

So i need a better reason than that. I am not particularly bothered about lookign good. I have a husband who cares little what I look like. I was slim when I met him and he loved me then, I am fat and he loves me now. It doesnt seem to matter what shape I am, he just loves me. This in itself is a probelm. There is no real incentive. However, he is in a no win situation, because if he said "you look terrible, get yourself together" I would need up hating him and becomign annoyed and then eat more to comfort myself and stay fat!

So If the guy supported my weightloss, I would kind of like it and not like it. So how the heck can i get myself together and sort this out. I guess I have to want to do it for myself, but I just cant find the energy. I am keeping goign day to day just thinking about the holiday we are due to go on in 10 weeks, but after that.... whats goign to keep me going? I am also really worried that i will put on loads and loads like I did last time I went to France. I know that it completely ruined my motivation to be able to put so much weight on so quickly, and not get it off in the same time.

Sometimes I wonder if I will ever be thin.... and then if I actually get thin, what then. Get fat again? I see this a process with a beginning and an end... but for me I dont think that there will ever be an end. I will perpetually be on "the diet" which is hellish to think about. So when I get to target, i am still going to be saying stuff like "I made this amazing cake with chickpeas and quark and yes... it tastes a bit cooky but you know you really get used to it!" rather than "wow that chocolate sundae was amazing!" This is it for life. I am gonna have to go to that class for the rest of my days because I will never be able to eat what I want ever again. You may think this is extreme but I guarantee its not.

I think I kind of have to look at food as an allergy. If I was allergic to eggs, I would avoid them, so I guess I am just intollerant to fatty foods. Lets face it, if I eat like regular people, i get bigger and bigger. I cannot get away with eating what I want when I want to like the rest of humanity and that bugs the crap out of me.

ILL

I am ill.
i went to the weighbridge on tuesday (11th october) and i lost 1lb. PITTIFUL. But I guess its better than putting on or staying the same. I really did try hard to lose that week. Anyway, thats done, and I have been ill since sunday.
We had the Assembly on Saturday and Sunday which was fabulous, and i made healthy meals to take with me so I wouldnt be hungry or blow my diet. I started feeling rough on saturday afternoon. Sore throat etc. Sunday I had a raging sore throat and monday well i kind of felt really fuggy headed like i was goign to get a cold, heavy you know? I went to work, and by the time I got home I felt real bad. Tuesday morning I felt rough, but I went to get weighed like I said. I felt bad as i only lost a pound and I really needed a boost to be honest, especially because of feeling so grim.
So came home and I have stuck to plan pretty much all week. I went a little bit over the top on syns on tuesday because of some mayonaise... but there we go! Sometimes you just gotta do it!!!! Spent the rest of tuesday in bed with the next phase of this lurgy... the cold! WOW did my nose run! I didnt go to the group as I was full of it. Its sad though, cos after the assmebly, and then not seeing anyone for a few days its really horrid. Feel really lonely. In myself I felt semi ok, but Wednesday was really bad. I really was very ill yesterday. I spent a lot of time lying down and dozing. I went to bed at 9pm (UNHEARD OF!!!!) and slept through until the alarm went off at 7:30. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. I stayed where I was and DH brought me drinks and chemicals to ease my pains.
I havent seen M and her kids today and I miss them. But they certainly dont want this lurgy! I feel really lonely and out of the loop. C phoned to see if I was feeling any better...so did M which was lovely too. I need cheering up. I think I am going to have a take away... HOT CURRY!!! I will certainly taste that. I had a Jam sandwich for lunch as i could not bring myself to make nything else. I didnt even taste a bite of it. I may as well have eaten soggy cardboard.
Hopefully I will feel better soon. I am supposed to be going to work tomorrow... doubtful. I still feel as lousy as a wet rag, and if I still feel like this tomorrow, theres no way. Its not fair to take my germs to other childrens houses anyway, even though thats probably where I got this from!!
Am now off to eat another piece of tastelss fruit...
missing everyone like crazy and in need of a laugh badly...

Still Fat and Ugly on the Outside, but Slim and Fit on the inside. ARMADILLO!

Weighbridge not quite so bad as I thought it would be. I only put on 3lbs in 2 weeks, and considering I ate an assortment of the things listed previously, its a flippin' miracle it was only 3lbs rather that 3stone!

I have been a very good girl ever since tuesday morning, and the only naughty things that have passed my lips have been counted. I had bubble and squeak today from tuesday's roast veg leftovers. MMmmmm. Comfort food. Then this evening, I made a curry. It was really nice.

I have scrubbed out all my cupboards and chucked out a load of old pans and plates I will never ever use again, and also quite a large amount of mouse poo.... Goodness knows how that got there, but I guess we have mice... again! Set traps, so hope to catch some new pets soon.

Been to tesco's. Boring. Made worse because of DH and DS complaining about going. I hate it to, but some poor soul has to do it or we will all starve. Hey... theres an idea!

Feel very tried. Going bed.

Fat and Ugly

Fat and ugly
Off to the weighbridge this morning. Will have a little wager that I have put on about 6lbs in the last 2 weeks. I have lost the will to live (aka Diet). For DH its easy to do a diet as he just says "Honey, Can you do something a little less fattening, you are a sweety" and he gets it. When i go on a diet its me who has to cook. DH has to think and plan one meal... Lunch. I have to think about all the rest for not just me, but DH and DS too! I dont think i have the mental powers to dream up another way of making some boring bland muck taste half way decent.
I have done it for 23 weeks and I have lost 1 stone 5 and a half. This should feel good. it does not. CRAP. Lost one stone 2 by June and havent really gotten any further along really. I feel like I have done it twice and I dont know how I am gonna get out of this rut. I always loose about 1.7 stone and then its an uphill struggle. I lose the power, the drive and the mental capacity to plan nutricious healthy low fat meal when i want a BIG MAC and FRIES, or CHINESE, INDIAN, THAI, 6 YORKIE BARS, COFFEE WITH 3 SUGARS AND FULL FAT MILK, LURPAK ON MY BREAD (THICK!) WITH JAM and not that Nimble "how can we hold air together" stuff, NO! NICE JUST OUT OF THE OVEN CRUSTY BREAD, ICE CREAM, PENNY SWEETS, PIZZA, FRIED EGGS AND HASH BROWNS (FRIED!)CAKE AND CAKE AND CAKE AND ICING AND MARZIPAN AND MARSHMELLOWS (OR SMORES EVEN!!) AND CRISPS AND FULL FAT COKE (DIET COKE TASTES LIKE CRAPO!), CROISANTS, A BOTTLE OF WINE, PANCAKES AND SYRUP, FISH AND CHIPS, KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN, POPCORN - THE SWEET ONE! AND MALTESERS AND MINSTRELS AND DOUGHNUTS...
OH DOUGHNUTS I LOVE YOU

AND A FRESHLY MADE SANDWICH WITH EGG AND CRESS AND MAYONAISE IN IT, AND A FRESH SANDWICH FROM THE BAKERY EVERY DAY UNTIL I DROP DEAD FROM A HEART ATTACK/STROKE. AT LEAST I WILL HAVE ENJOYED ME RUDDY SELF!

THINKIGN ABOUT EVERY SINGLE THING THAT PASSES MY LIPS IS NOT LIVING. IT IS EXISTING. SO MUCH FOR IT BECOMING THE NEW ME AND ALL THAT MALARKY. IT HASNT. ITS THE SAME OLD ME BURIED UNDER AND BLANKET OF MODERN OPINIONS. WELL THE DUVETS ON THE FLOOR AND I WANT TO PULL IT BACK ON BUT HAVING GONE THROUGH SUCH DEPRAVATION OF MY BLESSED HALLOWED FAT AND SUGAR FOR MONTHS, I HAVE NOT GOT THE ENERGY!

Slimmer of the Week! - who me?

"Yes you!"

I haven't been posting for months....I have been lost at sea, presumed dead, but found to be surviving and ready to show the world 'ow good I dun!

I am after all a serial dieter/eater so what do you expect?

Well expect better. I have been meaning to write this for ages, but the weeks keep slipping by.

I joined Slimming Class.

The delivered meals were getting too expensive to continue with for any length of time, so I decided to bite the bullet and do the hard stuff...re educating myself and really trying.

I joined in March. I had lost a few pound from when I wrote before - starting in at 18 stone and 12 and a half pounds! NOT GOOD

I have done well, and even though I have also had a massive gain during this time, as you will read about shortly, I am still patting myself on the back.

I lost 1 stone 1 and a half lbs by June 1st. Then I went on holiday for 3 weeks.

OOOOOOPS!

I put on 12lbs while I was away. I was HORRIFIED. I mean it. However, I made the choices to put that food into my mouth, all the croisants and chocs and French bread, cheese, butter and wine and nice meals out. I was still half expecting to see a loss. CAN YOU BELIEVE THE CHEEK OF ME? I must be crazy. I was so depressed by the gain like you would not believe.

BUT - now this is the excellent thing - I GOT BACK ON THE WAGON! I went straight home and made something lovely to eat which would not pile on the lbs and at the next weigh in I lost 6lbs!

in 1 week I lost half of the weight that I put on in 3 weeks. I was thrilled. This week I lost another 3lbs. So next week if I lose another 3lb I will have lost the weight in the same time it took to put it on.

I am half wanting to lose 3 and a half pounds or more, simply because I will feel psychologically more motivated to think that I lost more in three weeks that I put on. I know its messed up, but I feel that if I lose more than I put on in the same time, that the diet is therefore working more effectively that if I was trying to pile it on. Obviously diets do work better, but its just more satisfying to think that this one is the best ever, even though I know it is!

So I have now lost 12 and a half pounds. I am pleased, even though I am not at the 17.11lb mark again yet, but I know its either going to be next week that I hit that target, or the week after.

If I lose nothing next week, I will be upset, but not distraught. If I lose a little, I wont be too bothered as its still the right way. If I gain....I will be very upset indeed, as I really need to break back to where I was nearly 6 weeks ago now. That's the worst thing...Knowing that 5 weeks ago I weighed 3lbs less that now.

Slimming is a challenge, but I will not let this fat beat me into submission.

I worked out that I have been fat for 8 years. That is terrible. I don't want to be fat any more. It has to end here. I have stuck a diet for 15 weeks (WOW!!!!!) and I go every week and stay for the whole meeting. If I can do it, everyone can.

Watch this space, as this weeks "SLIMMER OF THE WEEK" is getting smaller!

Gentle walk

Today was actually not bad.

Breakfast was just cereal, so had that with some juice and a cup of coffee then drove my son to school.

On the way, a friend phoned and asked me over to discuss some stuff.
So I flew home from the school run and went over there armed with my ears.

So I had endless coffee and then she made a roll with cheese and beetroot. My friend is very slim and the portion's were small. I was actually still hungry and if it hadn't been for the tea and coffee I would have had a whole to fill. However I went straight from her house to work! I didn't have time to get anything extra, so I just waited until I got home.

I eat a few crackers as one of my snack options and then realized the my husband was off out to play sports! I could have had my tea there and then, but I thought I would wait for him. I had an apple and watched TV and then went online for a bit, then spoke to my friend again about bits and bobs.

Hubby came home and I cooked the tea. It was turkey bolognese tonight. It was yummy. DH (dear hubbie) hated it as it was too tomato-ey. I just love the convenience of it. Its just sitting in my fridge waiting to be cooked! Brilliant!

Then we watched some more TV and went to bed.

dietwise, I think its been a really great day all told! I didn't find it difficult as I was busy busy busy all day and occupied as I thought I would be, so bit like a gentle walk really!

onwards and upwards!

Day 2 - storm looming

Well, the storm clouds rolled in last night.

For breakfast yesterday I had some cereal or something. It was about 2 tablespoons worth in a plastic bag. They did say all I would need was milk...And that is seemingly true!

Lunch was ok too, tuna salad and two slices bread. Nice full tummy.

Then we were invited to stay over at friends. Nibbles and wine flowed. Once I had a glass of wine I couldn't resist. The boat rocked and I was totally caught in the storm. I did not have any other tea as such, so I am hoping that by having a glass of water between each glass of wine rather than matching them glass for glass, that I will have put into effect a form of damage limitation.

However, the nibbles were vol-au-vents (or however you spell them) with egg Mayo, cream cheese and salmon, mushroom stuff and another had chicken stuff. I have no idea how many calories are in them, but I bet there's a lot. I know there's about 200 cals in a glass of wine, so there's 600 gone totally before I start!

I am not impressed with myself. I can't believe I haven't even done a single day on this diet yet.

I guess that I have still cut back though. If I had not been on my diet, I would probably have had no breakfast at all, and then for lunch a big baguette from the bakery filled with lashings of butter and chicken/Mayo/fat combination. Then in the afternoon, maybe some cake or a chocolate bar or sweets. I would then have had a big meal in the evening and some wine too. So I guess I was reserved, even though I totally blew it.

I feel bad. This morning when I woke up I felt guilty. I hoped no one would find out that I had been naughty on my diet. My husband hasn't said anything, so I hope he hasn't noticed or doesn't think it matters.

I have to be firmer with myself. I am realizing I have very little self control. I must work at that.

Today has been ok. I ate the breakfast (beans on toast - yummy!) and the lunch and the tea.
I have had a few coffees with sugar rather than sweetener though...Its 16 calories a spoonful, so I have had about 100 extra calories than I should have.

My daily calorie value is supposedly 1600 on this diet. Its all worked out for me. So If I have had 1700, when my body is used to 3000 a day or something, then its a plus right?

I know its not just calories, but the proportion of fat to protein and carbs, but I am no scientist. Sugar is carbs I think, so that should be ok. The big part of today's meals seems to have been carbs and little protein and low fat, so hopefully the balance is still right.

OHHH! I must try better tomorrow. I have a feeling the weekdays will be easier as I am busier.

lets hope so!

I am off now to watch the rest of the Home and Away Omnibus that I recorded. Yes, I am a sad wretch, but I never said I wasn't! :o) Then I think we are going to watch the film "Down with Love" .

Set Sail

Today I embark on the ever elusive quest for whippet-ness.

I don't care what it takes, this is my Everest.

I think even Hilary and Tensing would be daunted by the bulk of the journey that lays ahead of me.

Today I weigh:
19 stone and 2 pounds
268 lbs
121.5 kgs

I have taken control of my life and with the help of Body Chef, we will be having our (includes my Darling Husband) meals delivered in a box bi-weekly. It costs a bit, but its worth it to lose the bulk.

Watch this space.