Nothing wrong with being banded around the guts, but I think my brain needs a band too.
On the way home last night I picked up a packet of pancakes... the large fluffy ones a little bit like pikelets as my Mum used to call them - like American pancakes or the ones you get in McDonalds.
As Carina was off to the shelter this morning I thought it would be nice to have something filling and nice for her before she went for the day. I really find cereal so utterly boring.
So I toasted the pancakes and laid them on the plates (tea plate size) and put some maple syrup on them. I ate a quarter of one. A QUARTER.
My mind seriously wants to eat the rest. I am going to experiment with blindfolds. I truly think that its my EYEBALLS that lead me into trouble.
So I stopped after the quarter and its half an hour since and I am still full.
I wish we could put lapbands on our dumb greedy brains.
Oh, and by the way the spell checker on blogger is NOT working right now and hasnt been for some days. Goodness knows why, but if the spellings a bit whack, thats why! Bear with me. LOL
***UPDATE***
What a cruddy day. I feel proper rubbish about it, but cant be helped.
Yesterday I put off my students because DH was coming home, so now I have to do them tomorrow. Not a problem, until tomorrow comes and I ill wish I hadnt bothered.
I made couscous for lunch. It was yummy. I couldnt eat much of it. I felt crap, hence we stopped on the way to TB's at the local shop. I bought, and ate, 1 mars, 1 twix and 1 twirl. I can eat them until the cows come home. So finally I ate something, stopped shaking like I was going to pass out and felt full.
After I ate the pancake for breakfast, I couldnt eat any more, but I was STILL hungry. After the couscous I couldnt eat more than 3 bites, but I was STILL hungry. I dont understand why I still feel hungry. Do I need a fill so the food sits on top of my stoma? Or do I need an nfill (GOD FORBID!) so that I can just eat. I am seriously worried that the only food I can eat is crap. I mean, short term, I am less than bothered. I do NOT mind having to survive on Mars bars or whatever for a couple of weeks, but long term I know this is not good.
BUT, yesterday evening I ordered a curry. Carina wanted chicken (TOTAL NO NO FOR ME) and so did DH. So I got a prawn dahnsak. I ate most of the carton. I ate in little tiny nibbles from a baby spoon and I made sure that 1 single prawn was good before I swallowed.
If this is how I am supposed to eat, fine, I just feel like I am out in the dark somewhere with NO HELP!
I am torn because I want this band to work, but I havent lost anythign fopr 3 weeks. I know I have not been a saint, but I never used to be on slimmingworld and I would ussually lose then.
So I am eating hardly nothing thats any good for me and because I am literally shaking and faint with hunger I eat high calorie sweets or a spoon of sugar. YEP! I even did that once as I thought I was going to pass out.
I am going to try being a good girl today. I will eat off of a tea plate and eat with a tea spoon and feel like an idiot and eat the tiniest mouthfuls and see what kind of day I had.
At the moment it feels like my band is getting tighter day after day. That cant be possible obviously. I haet felt a slackening in restriction at all since the fill 4 weeks ago.
Grrrr.
Annoyed.
This is one thing I constantly battle with luv, and I don't think we're alone. Being banded is great, until you get your favourite food infront of you (or any tasty plate for that matter!!. You stop when you feel full, yet there is heaps of food left over.. and you're practically crying cos you can't eat anymore but really really want to... The only way I have learnt with how to deal with this is to serve myself as much as I know my stomach will take until it's full. So I always eat off a bread a butter plate, I stop eating after 20 minutes, even if my brain is saying "give it a couple more minutes and you'll be able to have a couple more bites". I give my plate to my hubby who takes it away immediately. I NEVER make enough food to have leftovers, and if I do, it becomes lunch the next day, so I put it in a container and pop it in the fridge.
ReplyDeleteOh, and I just got through watching your PB experience... while it was one of the funniest things I've ever seen, all I wanted to do was tell you to stick your fingers down your throat!!! I find if something is stuck, and won't come up naturally... just a quick touch at the back of my throat normally does the trick... hrmm... I'm sounding bulemic now!!
Erika xx