For breakfast I had half a pancake.
For lunch I had some Hungarian 'Gnoccedly' and 'Perkerd'. Y U M! I have absolutely NO idea how to spell these, so they are phonetic versions of what we were served up. Gnoccedly is a kind of homemade pasta put through a utensil that looks like a blunt cheese grater straight into boiling water. The result is a kind of pasta that looks like mini cumulus clouds... like the italian Gnocci but smaller and very tasty. This is then covered in this stuff called 'Perkerd'. Its chicken drumsticks cooked in an onion puree with pepper and paprika, tomato and sour cream sauce. Its wonderful. I managed a bowl of the pasta and a little of the sauce on it. I didn't even bother with the chicken.
For dinner I had a full Sunday Roast. 1 sprig of broccoli, 1 spoon carrots, 1/2 slice beef, 1/2 roast potato and a Yorkshire pudding smothered in gravy and horseradish served up on a tea plate. It was delish!
Monday, 30 June 2008
Thursday, 26 June 2008
Wow, how tight am I?
Rather a loaded title, but you guys know what I mean!
had a couple of depressing food days.
Where are we... Thursday? Ok... well I will start with Tuesday then. It was really random and I must admit that I had a few thoughts about band slippage because it was so weird...
I don't think I ate anything all morning, and at lunch I had a couple of salami slices and half a slice of bread and butter. At about 3:30 I went off to work, and I was feeling mighty dodgy. I was sick at my pupils house... this was induced sickness rather than spontaneous. I am going to have to invent some word for this. Its not a pb. I hate that phrase too. I don't get pb's in the true sense of what they mean - productive burps. I get an elephant standing on my chest and have to induce vomiting. Then I feel better.
Ok... I am gonna call it HMS - as in Had to Make myself Sick
So, I HMS, and came home feeling a bit woozy. I really needed sugar ad I had that whole tremor thing going on. So I bought chocolate. 3 bars for £1 (bargain). Ate a couple of squares of Dairy Milk and then had to be sick at the side of my car in the village High Street. Nice. Then I went home. I felt terrible. It felt like I had swallowed a golf ball... but it was UNDER my band. It was like there was some massive thing I needed to throw up that was stuck under my band. It was voice changing, mucus producing, sweat beading-ly horrible. I was belching and grunting over the bathroom sink and spitting foam whilst DS phoned to cancel my pupils (which made me feel even better after having just been off for 2 weeks holiday!) But after about half an hour the belches subsided and I was exhausted. I went to lie down and slept until 7pm. I got up then and showed a new lodger around the room and decided that I was feeling remarkably well. How strange. I was still all shaky, so I drank some milk and then sucked the milky bar I had bought earlier. No problem. Then I cooked the dinner for everyone and laid the table and sat down to chilli con carne. There was NO way I could eat that in a million years. I had a few mouthfuls but knew immediately I had to HMS. I should have just not bothered, but I was hungry man! So I thought stuff food, and just drank juice. Later in the evening I had some of the left over bread and butter pudding that I had also made for the brood. This was nice because it was soggy and gooey and slipped down a treat. The shakes subsided and that brought Tuesday to an end. So Tuesdays food consisted of a bit of bread, a slice of salami, 1 chocolate bar and a serving of bread and butter pudding. Crap.
Yesterday? Well it was not too different to be honest, but at least I didn't have the whole "I am gonna chuck my band up through its own stoma" problem.
I got up and decided to have a banana. However, the band decided that this was SO not going to happen, and I managed 1 bite. I waited 30 minutes and then was able to drink a couple of sips of coffee. I was dying of thirst, but I just could do it. We went into town and booked a hall for my concert on the 5th July, and then it was only after maybe 2 or so hours had passed since the banana mystery that I finally drank my cold coffee and a bottle of water to boot. I have a habit of taking my coffee with me in the car because this kind of thing often happens, so it was dutifully waiting for me on our return from the shops.
Lunch ended up being the browning banana I had intended to eat for brekkie, as I wasn't that hungry and couldn't be bothered to do anything else. Then I cooked Puttanesca sauce ready for when I got home from work. and off I toddled. I did a full schedule of lessons and drank 1 cup of tea all afternoon, and when I got home I was starving. I fired up the burners under the pasta and then gathered the masses to feeding time. I managed the most POXY portion. It was about 6 quills of pasta and sauce and then a quick HMS and a 30 minute wait followed by 1 more quill and an olive. Rubbish. But I was satiated which is always the oddest thing to get my head around. It just doesn't seem real to be able to get so full on so little food. I MUST get used to this as this is I think the crux of any weightloss problems I have post banding.
So that was dinner and then about 10pm, I was peckish and I had a few slices of salami whilst playing Sims 2. I took a pint of orange juice to bed with me, and that was yesterday. Banana, pasta, Salami and juice.
Today I am feeling tight too. I knew when I rolled out of bed. I swallowed the last of the orange juice that I took to bed with me, and could 'feel' it. That's always a sure sign that there is absolutely No point whatsoever in bothering with breakfast as its a fight that I will not win.
So, shall update later, but that's it right now. Feeling in need of food big time. It seems a long time since I had a full meal, and I really really miss it. Its the swallowing part I miss most. To swallow a big mouthful just once more, would be really nice.
had a couple of depressing food days.
Where are we... Thursday? Ok... well I will start with Tuesday then. It was really random and I must admit that I had a few thoughts about band slippage because it was so weird...
I don't think I ate anything all morning, and at lunch I had a couple of salami slices and half a slice of bread and butter. At about 3:30 I went off to work, and I was feeling mighty dodgy. I was sick at my pupils house... this was induced sickness rather than spontaneous. I am going to have to invent some word for this. Its not a pb. I hate that phrase too. I don't get pb's in the true sense of what they mean - productive burps. I get an elephant standing on my chest and have to induce vomiting. Then I feel better.
Ok... I am gonna call it HMS - as in Had to Make myself Sick
So, I HMS, and came home feeling a bit woozy. I really needed sugar ad I had that whole tremor thing going on. So I bought chocolate. 3 bars for £1 (bargain). Ate a couple of squares of Dairy Milk and then had to be sick at the side of my car in the village High Street. Nice. Then I went home. I felt terrible. It felt like I had swallowed a golf ball... but it was UNDER my band. It was like there was some massive thing I needed to throw up that was stuck under my band. It was voice changing, mucus producing, sweat beading-ly horrible. I was belching and grunting over the bathroom sink and spitting foam whilst DS phoned to cancel my pupils (which made me feel even better after having just been off for 2 weeks holiday!) But after about half an hour the belches subsided and I was exhausted. I went to lie down and slept until 7pm. I got up then and showed a new lodger around the room and decided that I was feeling remarkably well. How strange. I was still all shaky, so I drank some milk and then sucked the milky bar I had bought earlier. No problem. Then I cooked the dinner for everyone and laid the table and sat down to chilli con carne. There was NO way I could eat that in a million years. I had a few mouthfuls but knew immediately I had to HMS. I should have just not bothered, but I was hungry man! So I thought stuff food, and just drank juice. Later in the evening I had some of the left over bread and butter pudding that I had also made for the brood. This was nice because it was soggy and gooey and slipped down a treat. The shakes subsided and that brought Tuesday to an end. So Tuesdays food consisted of a bit of bread, a slice of salami, 1 chocolate bar and a serving of bread and butter pudding. Crap.
Yesterday? Well it was not too different to be honest, but at least I didn't have the whole "I am gonna chuck my band up through its own stoma" problem.
I got up and decided to have a banana. However, the band decided that this was SO not going to happen, and I managed 1 bite. I waited 30 minutes and then was able to drink a couple of sips of coffee. I was dying of thirst, but I just could do it. We went into town and booked a hall for my concert on the 5th July, and then it was only after maybe 2 or so hours had passed since the banana mystery that I finally drank my cold coffee and a bottle of water to boot. I have a habit of taking my coffee with me in the car because this kind of thing often happens, so it was dutifully waiting for me on our return from the shops.
Lunch ended up being the browning banana I had intended to eat for brekkie, as I wasn't that hungry and couldn't be bothered to do anything else. Then I cooked Puttanesca sauce ready for when I got home from work. and off I toddled. I did a full schedule of lessons and drank 1 cup of tea all afternoon, and when I got home I was starving. I fired up the burners under the pasta and then gathered the masses to feeding time. I managed the most POXY portion. It was about 6 quills of pasta and sauce and then a quick HMS and a 30 minute wait followed by 1 more quill and an olive. Rubbish. But I was satiated which is always the oddest thing to get my head around. It just doesn't seem real to be able to get so full on so little food. I MUST get used to this as this is I think the crux of any weightloss problems I have post banding.
So that was dinner and then about 10pm, I was peckish and I had a few slices of salami whilst playing Sims 2. I took a pint of orange juice to bed with me, and that was yesterday. Banana, pasta, Salami and juice.
Today I am feeling tight too. I knew when I rolled out of bed. I swallowed the last of the orange juice that I took to bed with me, and could 'feel' it. That's always a sure sign that there is absolutely No point whatsoever in bothering with breakfast as its a fight that I will not win.
So, shall update later, but that's it right now. Feeling in need of food big time. It seems a long time since I had a full meal, and I really really miss it. Its the swallowing part I miss most. To swallow a big mouthful just once more, would be really nice.
** The Update**
I am a little bit concerned to be fair... I have been able to eat nothing today. I didn't bother with breakfast as I said, and lunch came and went without me noticing it. Then I made a quiche for tonight's dinner, and went off to work. I was at my pupils house where they always give me food and today they had laid on 2 MASSIVE chunks of french bread with butter and jam and a chocolate bar from Thorntons! Phew. So I took a nice bite and as she left, and as soon as my pupils back was turned, I wrapped one of the slabs of bread and jam in the napkin and stuffed it in my bag. All was ok until I tried at the end of the lesson to quickly down the tea she had made and I knew I wasn't going to make it. I got out of the house and into the car, drove a little way down the road and HMS'd on the road.
Then I did another lesson and then went to the meeting and on the way to the meeting started eating the chocolate bar figuring that it wa nearly 7pm and I haven't eaten all day. Soon as I got to the meeting I HMS'd in the toilet. I am now at home, HMS'ing into the sink after having one of DS's crisps.
I know that all the stuff I am managing to eat is junk. This is half the reason I am trying to eat it, because I actually thought it would go down considering it always has before. I also know there is absolutely no point this side of tomorrow that I could eat anything approaching vegetable or meat based in solid form.
So, here ends yet another day of shit eating, shit eating habits and shitty vomiting and feeling... Shit.
Frankly I don't know what to do. shall I go on liquids for a couple of days or should I just persevere with food? I can at least drink, so I am making sure that I do. I have also been taking my berroca religiously because of this rubbish.
Anyone else ever had this problem? Am I too tight? - and if so... how is that possible since my last fill was ages ago?
Wow, I just don't know what to do. I feel like crying to be honest. I cant console myself in anything that will comfort me. I cant even eat goddamn chocolate!
Monday, 23 June 2008
having a seriously tight day... just when I dont want to
I really want to eat.
Really really really badly!
I went to fat fighters this morning and surveyed the damage I did to my holiday weight gain... 15 stone 9 pounds. Excellent. That's 2 pounds of the gain down the bog.
I took a banana for me and TB to eat after the weigh in, but I managed 1 bite and had to chuck the rest. Half way home I had to stop mid-roadway and puke it up.
Lunch - grabbed some of last nights risotto and some smoked salmon I had in the fridge. Had 2 mouthfuls when Lotse announced that lunch was ready. Gulp. I was already full and about to be sick. I had seen the ominous cauldron bubbling on the stove, but assumed that it was a massive stew for his gigantic appetite and his wife to share. Wrong. His wife made us traditional Hungarian Goulash (pronounced Goo-yash) which we HAD to eat. Double Gulp.
DH said "Quick... go throw that up so you can get a bowl of this down you" and as it would happen that is what I was going to have to do anyway, Goulash or not. so I threw up my 2 spoons of risotto and it had such an air pocket behind it where I must have gulped it down or something, that it actually Hit the sink at the speed of light and pebble-dashed the wall. Great.
My goodness, no wonder I felt as if I had a stone down my gullet. I have never had that before, but it was like a big bubble of air trapped behind a bolus of food. Proper horrid anyway.
So, I sat down to (thankfully) some goulash which I could eat as the soup is very thin and I just left the veg in the bowl. I got away with it thankfully.
I went to work, and have not had any dinner yet... I am just debating what it will be. I had a couple of DS's Jelly beans that my sister gave to him for dreaming up her new website name. They are sitting in there right now, so although I want to stuff my face with chocolates and stuff because I am having PMT from hell and back, I cant.
Really really really badly!
I went to fat fighters this morning and surveyed the damage I did to my holiday weight gain... 15 stone 9 pounds. Excellent. That's 2 pounds of the gain down the bog.
I took a banana for me and TB to eat after the weigh in, but I managed 1 bite and had to chuck the rest. Half way home I had to stop mid-roadway and puke it up.
Lunch - grabbed some of last nights risotto and some smoked salmon I had in the fridge. Had 2 mouthfuls when Lotse announced that lunch was ready. Gulp. I was already full and about to be sick. I had seen the ominous cauldron bubbling on the stove, but assumed that it was a massive stew for his gigantic appetite and his wife to share. Wrong. His wife made us traditional Hungarian Goulash (pronounced Goo-yash) which we HAD to eat. Double Gulp.
DH said "Quick... go throw that up so you can get a bowl of this down you" and as it would happen that is what I was going to have to do anyway, Goulash or not. so I threw up my 2 spoons of risotto and it had such an air pocket behind it where I must have gulped it down or something, that it actually Hit the sink at the speed of light and pebble-dashed the wall. Great.
My goodness, no wonder I felt as if I had a stone down my gullet. I have never had that before, but it was like a big bubble of air trapped behind a bolus of food. Proper horrid anyway.
So, I sat down to (thankfully) some goulash which I could eat as the soup is very thin and I just left the veg in the bowl. I got away with it thankfully.
I went to work, and have not had any dinner yet... I am just debating what it will be. I had a couple of DS's Jelly beans that my sister gave to him for dreaming up her new website name. They are sitting in there right now, so although I want to stuff my face with chocolates and stuff because I am having PMT from hell and back, I cant.
Friday, 20 June 2008
I am back
and I came home with a little bit more of me that what I went with!
I had an ace time in Malta. It was really lovely and relaxing. Even though we only got home yesterday evening it seems like we have never been away... except for the washing and the size of the kittens! They are massive now. they are also weaned and using the litter tray I think... I haven't seen any evidence of them using the tray, but there is no other evidence if you know what I mean!! HA HA.
So I now weigh 15 stone 11 pounds this morning. I am SO pleased that I didn't get back to 16 stone. I would have died if I had been out of the 15 stones and back up into the 16's. that would have made me eat some serious chocolate!
So back to normal without 15 vodka and lemonades, crisps, burgers and all kinds of ice cream sweets and crap... hopefully I will lose a few this week.
5 pounds is a bit of a brutal amount to put on, but I am not surprised. It was down to drink and ice cream because I didn't eat all that much. I didn't have too many pukes and no bad chokes at all. The first few days in Malta were difficult as the band was SUPER TIGHT. Honestly, it was like an over enthusiastic straitjacket, and I managed to eat barely nothing, so I made sure I drank plenty. All the lemonade was 'full fat' and I let it go nice and flat and drank that, orange juice, which in fact was more like sunny delight... so I guess really sugar loaded, wine, vodka and lots of cappuccino and of course bottle water too. I hate flat coke, so the only diet drink that I could have had I don't like and refuse to drink.
Whilst there I found an excellent breakfast was (in this order):
2 small glasses of orange juice (Sunny D style)
2 espresso's with cold milk (I use espresso in the loosest possible terms!)
1 slice of nimble style bread and butter with
3 slices of salami (Danish style).
Lunch:
anywhere between 2 bites and a whole burger
anywhere between 2 bites and a whole burger
or a packet of crisps
Dinner:
anything from 3 calamari to a whole plate of ratatouille
if its wet I can eat it... ratatouille or veg with gravy or mash potato with gravy etc.
if its dry I can eat a bit - palm of the hand size.
Meat seems to be a bit of a no no unless I eat it with some kind of vegetable in the same mouthful. A mouthful now-a-days is about the size of a prawn or 6 peas.
So there we go. All terribly interesting I am sure!
I will take a new photo when I get a bit lower and post it on. Meanwhile you can check out this claim to fame photo of me and DS with Glynn from Big Brother 2006. He was staying in our hotel with his Mum and Dad. Lovely lad.
Wednesday, 4 June 2008
See ya'll later
I am off on holiday this evening. Its been a mad crazy week in my life, so sorry about not blogging before now, and sorry that this post is short! Getting ready for utter relaxation takes it out of one!
Tuesday, 27 May 2008
A lovely UTI.
My cystitis has turned into a lovely Urinary tract infection. Geez, its terrible. Normally cystopurin or oasis sorts it out, but today I had to go to the doctor. I couldn't handle it any more. On top of that, The red team is playing at home too and I was about to chop my lower body off. So I have cefalexin to take 4 times a day. I hope they work quickly!
today was our little slimming world jaunt. I put on a pound this week, no surprise there. I always do around this time. Doesn't seem to matter what I do, I always gain. So I am not recording it, or feeling bad about it because I have eaten bugger all all week and know I haven't 'really' put on a pound. Next week will show up the loss. Pisses me off though.
I haven't eaten anything all day as I feel so crud. better go and prepare some tea or something.
today was our little slimming world jaunt. I put on a pound this week, no surprise there. I always do around this time. Doesn't seem to matter what I do, I always gain. So I am not recording it, or feeling bad about it because I have eaten bugger all all week and know I haven't 'really' put on a pound. Next week will show up the loss. Pisses me off though.
I haven't eaten anything all day as I feel so crud. better go and prepare some tea or something.
Saturday, 24 May 2008
Yesterday, today
I wasn't feeling too hot yesterday for some reason. I got up and nearly trod on one of our new kittens because they are now under our bed... and moving around too!
We had to do a tesco run for really random things like Salad Cream and pegs, shake and vac and black trousers. The most unconnected shopping list that ever was.
I had a mother of a headache by the time we got home, and the air was really heavy and full of storm... not that we had one though. We went to TB's house to sort her computer out again and then came home. I really wanted to go to sleep but time got away from me. I went to work and bought a bottle of red on the way home and ordered a curry. Its not good really, because I can eat a curry, easily. As long as I make sure I chew those prawns, then it slips down a treat. Rice is no problem for me covered in sauce!
I was all on my own, eating curry and chilling on the sofa watching telly. It was great. DS was in a show so DH and his Mum had taken him to do that for the evening, and as I had to work I couldn't get back in time for it. It made a change to have the whole house to myself... well nearly. Sue was upstairs in bed as she is not well at the moment, but Laszlo was out truck driving. All calm and quiet.
I was really tired by the time DH, DS and Granny got home, and I just wanted to go to bed. So thats what I did. I crawled into bed with a copy of OK and had a good read.
I don't think I ate anything else yesterday apart from the bottle of wine, curry and few crackers and humous at lunch...
Nothing much to report really.
Ho hum.
We had to do a tesco run for really random things like Salad Cream and pegs, shake and vac and black trousers. The most unconnected shopping list that ever was.
I had a mother of a headache by the time we got home, and the air was really heavy and full of storm... not that we had one though. We went to TB's house to sort her computer out again and then came home. I really wanted to go to sleep but time got away from me. I went to work and bought a bottle of red on the way home and ordered a curry. Its not good really, because I can eat a curry, easily. As long as I make sure I chew those prawns, then it slips down a treat. Rice is no problem for me covered in sauce!
I was all on my own, eating curry and chilling on the sofa watching telly. It was great. DS was in a show so DH and his Mum had taken him to do that for the evening, and as I had to work I couldn't get back in time for it. It made a change to have the whole house to myself... well nearly. Sue was upstairs in bed as she is not well at the moment, but Laszlo was out truck driving. All calm and quiet.
I was really tired by the time DH, DS and Granny got home, and I just wanted to go to bed. So thats what I did. I crawled into bed with a copy of OK and had a good read.
I don't think I ate anything else yesterday apart from the bottle of wine, curry and few crackers and humous at lunch...
Nothing much to report really.
Ho hum.
Thursday, 22 May 2008
I hate cystitis...
...well at least I think that's what it is. I just get this terrible pain when I get stressed, and lets face it, its been a touch stressful around here these last few weeks.
So I am taking that horrible cranberry flavour salt drink made by canesten... Oasis? I think that's it. It certainly does the job, but I have run out, so am feeling a bit miserable.
Today has been quite good. Food wise, I was hungry when I woke up but after drinking my Berroca I was full again and didn't think about food until about 11:30 when I had a banana.
I had to go out this evening after work, so I knew I would not get dinner until late so I made a slice of toast, bunged some tinned chopped tomato and grated cheese on top and had that for lunch at about 3:30. DS was eating humous after finishing his several slices, piles of tomato and cheese combination as he was still peckish and I dived in aswell with 2 finn crisps and a couple of scrapes of humous.
So today's cals have been higher than of late at 760. I feel hungry now and I am going to have a lasagne that I defrosted this afternoon. I made it myself from scratch, so I don't know how many cals it has... but I have realised that as long as I eat only when I am hungry, and stay away from the BAD junk, then it doesn't really matter what the calorie value is. I like writing what I ate down, because I think it could help someone else thinking about the band, or with a band who wonders when they are at their sweet spot, but I think keeping track of all the cals gets me down if I do it every day. Its good now and again, and I haven't logged cals for a week or so on the daily plate, and I feel liberated.
I think to be honest I am there... I feel good, eat little, don't crave snacks and am losing weight. Sounds like my sweet place to me!
So I am taking that horrible cranberry flavour salt drink made by canesten... Oasis? I think that's it. It certainly does the job, but I have run out, so am feeling a bit miserable.
Today has been quite good. Food wise, I was hungry when I woke up but after drinking my Berroca I was full again and didn't think about food until about 11:30 when I had a banana.
I had to go out this evening after work, so I knew I would not get dinner until late so I made a slice of toast, bunged some tinned chopped tomato and grated cheese on top and had that for lunch at about 3:30. DS was eating humous after finishing his several slices, piles of tomato and cheese combination as he was still peckish and I dived in aswell with 2 finn crisps and a couple of scrapes of humous.
So today's cals have been higher than of late at 760. I feel hungry now and I am going to have a lasagne that I defrosted this afternoon. I made it myself from scratch, so I don't know how many cals it has... but I have realised that as long as I eat only when I am hungry, and stay away from the BAD junk, then it doesn't really matter what the calorie value is. I like writing what I ate down, because I think it could help someone else thinking about the band, or with a band who wonders when they are at their sweet spot, but I think keeping track of all the cals gets me down if I do it every day. Its good now and again, and I haven't logged cals for a week or so on the daily plate, and I feel liberated.
I think to be honest I am there... I feel good, eat little, don't crave snacks and am losing weight. Sounds like my sweet place to me!
Wednesday, 21 May 2008
If you are Fat and you haven't got a Lap Band then GET ONE!
BRUGGE - FEB, 2007
MAY 2008 36 pounds lighterOh man I LOOOOOOOVE the lap band.
Seriously, we have been through rough times me and my silicone friend, but I am just 'luvin it, luvin it, luvin it right now!
It is ONE YEAR to the day that my Lap Band Broke (See May 2007 posts).
I am also 11 pounds lighter than I was this time last year. I am in a seriously cool place. Trust me, it messes with your head having a lap band break on you, but OMG is it worth it. HELL YEAH!
I cannot believe that I am 15 stone something. That is totally awesome. I feel bright, energised and happy. I had my hair done today to celebrate the fact that my band IS working, and I feel young and vibrant and great.
I am wearing a pair of trousers and a top I bought last year before Sri Lanka, and obviously never got to wear them. Well this summer I fit into them perfectly. 3 weeks ago I couldn't do them up! Now they fit comfy... like they actually FIT! Wow. I feel so great about myself now, in a well deserved way, not an arrogant way. I just feel really pleased that something I did has finally gone right, and its making me feel a whole lot better.
THEN
NOW
RIGHT NOW!!
Today's food diary read thus:
1 banana
1 jacket potato (small) with curry sauce
2 chocolate yoghurts
That's all folk's!
Tuesday, 20 May 2008
Daylight Robbery and the Judas Kiss
Today we found that the cheque Spelman had paid us bounced.
What a low life.
The guy came here, wasted another hour in my life with his inane chatter about bog all, which I only tolerated because he was going to finally cough up my husbands wages, then takes his stock back (several thousand pounds worth) then shakes my hand and gives me a kiss on the cheek "no hard feelings".
A week later the cheque has bounced and the bastard has all his stock back. He is supposed to be a millionaire. Money here there and everywhere. I have never clapped eyes on such a down and out millionaire in my life. He drives a poxy L reg car with rust and dents. He wears cheap shiny well worn Farah slacks and plastic shoes and a shirt - no tie. If he is a millionaire, then I am a monkey's fucking uncle.
I never liked the guy from the moment I met him. 10 minutes in his company and you just KNOW that the whole evening is going to governed by him and a waste of at least 5 hours talking about him and his and how great hes got it.
The guy holidays in Ibiza for god's sake. Tragic.
Food diary:
2 Finn Crisp slim crackers with garlic and herb cheese spread. I made myself 3, but couldn't eat the last one. I used to eat a box of these in an afternoon no trouble.
several cups of Coffee
Tonight's dinner is going to be... Roast beef, carrots, roast potato and creamed leeks. Horseradish naturally, but no Yorkshire pud for me... not worth the vomiting.
I will let ya know how much I get through!
What a low life.
The guy came here, wasted another hour in my life with his inane chatter about bog all, which I only tolerated because he was going to finally cough up my husbands wages, then takes his stock back (several thousand pounds worth) then shakes my hand and gives me a kiss on the cheek "no hard feelings".
A week later the cheque has bounced and the bastard has all his stock back. He is supposed to be a millionaire. Money here there and everywhere. I have never clapped eyes on such a down and out millionaire in my life. He drives a poxy L reg car with rust and dents. He wears cheap shiny well worn Farah slacks and plastic shoes and a shirt - no tie. If he is a millionaire, then I am a monkey's fucking uncle.
I never liked the guy from the moment I met him. 10 minutes in his company and you just KNOW that the whole evening is going to governed by him and a waste of at least 5 hours talking about him and his and how great hes got it.
The guy holidays in Ibiza for god's sake. Tragic.
Food diary:
2 Finn Crisp slim crackers with garlic and herb cheese spread. I made myself 3, but couldn't eat the last one. I used to eat a box of these in an afternoon no trouble.
several cups of Coffee
Tonight's dinner is going to be... Roast beef, carrots, roast potato and creamed leeks. Horseradish naturally, but no Yorkshire pud for me... not worth the vomiting.
I will let ya know how much I get through!
Monday, 19 May 2008
Getting VERY excited
I think today was the day that I finally cracked my stupid psychological issue of thinking I am not losing weight...
I AM losing weight, physically I know this, but mentally I don't seem to be able to see it.
However, today I wore my new size 16 skirt and top and cardigan ALL DAY and went to slimmingworld and weighed in at 15 stone 6 pounds!! So this last week I have lost 4 pounds in total. That's so cool! I am getting there head-space wise.
It dawned on me that its 2 days until the anniversary of my band breakage.
This time last year I weighed 16 stone 3.
I am 11 pounds lower than I was this time last year! OMG!!! THAT'S SO EXCELLENT!
That's what has done it. I remember thinking that I would be pleased if, after regaining all the initial weight loss after the band break, I was 16 stone 3 by the anniversary of the band break.
Well people, I did a fucking hell of a lot better than that! 11 POUNDS! WOW MAN! That's so good.
I feel like a new person tonight, I really do. I am feeling positive about strutting my stuff on Holiday as I will be a lot less than I weighed last year. I felt ACE in Sri Lanka and really felt on cloud nine about my appearance and was in a kind of awestruck expectation of amazing weight loss results. I am now back there. I don't need to lose 4 pound a week... I don't need to lose 2 pound a week to be honest. 1 pound a week will mean that by next summer I will be BINT! I will be absolutely fit as.
I figure that I have about 3 to 3 and a half more stone to lose until I feel like a regular person. My ideal weight is 4 stone away, and I know that I might never reach that weight, because the last time I was 11 and a half stone I was 17. Since then, I have actually developed a bust, had a child and all kinds of excess fat and shit, so I guess its a little optimistic, but this band makes me wanna aim high now.
I feel FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC
Today's food, if any of you are interested...:
Salad and 1 Bulgarian meat thing that I can only describe as a sausage...
1 banana
that's it.
Love you guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I AM losing weight, physically I know this, but mentally I don't seem to be able to see it.
However, today I wore my new size 16 skirt and top and cardigan ALL DAY and went to slimmingworld and weighed in at 15 stone 6 pounds!! So this last week I have lost 4 pounds in total. That's so cool! I am getting there head-space wise.
It dawned on me that its 2 days until the anniversary of my band breakage.
This time last year I weighed 16 stone 3.
I am 11 pounds lower than I was this time last year! OMG!!! THAT'S SO EXCELLENT!
That's what has done it. I remember thinking that I would be pleased if, after regaining all the initial weight loss after the band break, I was 16 stone 3 by the anniversary of the band break.
Well people, I did a fucking hell of a lot better than that! 11 POUNDS! WOW MAN! That's so good.
I feel like a new person tonight, I really do. I am feeling positive about strutting my stuff on Holiday as I will be a lot less than I weighed last year. I felt ACE in Sri Lanka and really felt on cloud nine about my appearance and was in a kind of awestruck expectation of amazing weight loss results. I am now back there. I don't need to lose 4 pound a week... I don't need to lose 2 pound a week to be honest. 1 pound a week will mean that by next summer I will be BINT! I will be absolutely fit as.
I figure that I have about 3 to 3 and a half more stone to lose until I feel like a regular person. My ideal weight is 4 stone away, and I know that I might never reach that weight, because the last time I was 11 and a half stone I was 17. Since then, I have actually developed a bust, had a child and all kinds of excess fat and shit, so I guess its a little optimistic, but this band makes me wanna aim high now.
I feel FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC
Today's food, if any of you are interested...:
Salad and 1 Bulgarian meat thing that I can only describe as a sausage...
1 banana
that's it.
Love you guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Saturday, 17 May 2008
Friday, 16 May 2008
Oh Joyous Day
I know that I shouldn't but I just couldn't resist it. I will probably live to regret it on Monday, but there we go. It feels great now!
I weighed myself this morning. I thought... what the hell and hopped on. 15 stone 7 it screamed out at me. I was shocked beyond belief. All I feel is proud and happy and so amazingly wonderful. 15 and a half stone???? OH MY!!!! This is like the best thing ever. I think I am actually believing in this band now, and cutting the crap out of my diet... i.e. wine and chocolate, sorts me out. It is simply those 2 things that cause me to feel shitty, guilty and to put on weight. They don't even make me that happy when I am eating them, so why do I (and 1000 of others who have the same problem...)?
Nothing feels as good as getting on those scales and hearing those pounds getting lower.
I really shouldn't have logged it today, but it felt so good I had to. I just hope that on Monday its not higher, because that makes me feel worse than anything. I had a bad experience last year that way just after having my band sorted... I lost about 9 pounds in a week do you remember? Well obviously I checked and checked and checked and the scales told the truth, but when I jumped on the following week it was higher again ad it really puts me backwards. Its like some kind of twisted mental game or something.
I have really taken on board Lapbandgirl's comment of the other week... Thanks Erica. I don't know why but this comment has REALLY helped me... like a word at the right time.
She said:
Now we all know this is true right? However, until that moment I read that, I hadn't really GOT it. Why the Fuck do I eat if I am not hungry? Why??? Seriously? I honestly don't know. We get up and its breakfast so we have to have something to eat right... Then its lunch, so we better eat something. Then dinner.... etc.
(-what follows is a really weird post of my meanderings and righting the worlds wrongs so quit now if you don't want to be inanely bored)
Actually no. Just because I have a pencil in my pocket doesn't mean I have to sharpen it. I only sharpen it if I need to right? What happened to us? If you pardon the pun, why do we have the all consuming desire to keep the motor running?
Its taken me a about a week pondering this comment from Erika to really sort my shit out. I have been feeling guilty if I don't eat breakfast so I make sure I have lunch. So as I am puking the lunch up over the sink I am now worried that I am gonna drop dead from starvation. Was I actually hungry in the first place? The thought does not enter my mind.
So these last few days I have really taken stock of where I am at head space wise. I get up in the morning and the last thing I want to do is eat. I DO however want to drink. So that's what I do. Its half past 12 right now in the UK... about the time one starts thinking of ones guts... Why? I am not actually hungry... so I have to ignore this urge to stuff myself as that is all it is. Its not driven by hunger or need for physical sustenance. Its driven by the clock. I mean... what? Why do we do this?
*Shakes head with utter confusion*
So I am not going to eat by the clock. I am going to consider if I feel hungry before I eat anything. this is hard because obviously as wives/girlfriend's/mothers we have to feed our brood when they get hungry (which is oddly around the clock... so maybe we are making the same mistakes there... there really should be no time for lunch or dinner... it should be when you want it.) So to make it easier on us we call it lunch time or tea time or dinner time as it saves the poor woman having to slave her guts out in the kitchen endlessly when ever someone comes in and says "I'm hungry."
So Lunch, breakfast and dinner have become an institution that has been brought about by laziness in fact. Bare bones and all... if we really ate when we were hungry we would all eat at completely different times. You never see a rabbit stop whatever he is doing and sit down to some grass on the dot of 5pm do you?
To make it easier on ourselves we give ourselves times for these things... so we can plan our days around them. This is why it becomes such a bloody problem for some of us.
So is it possible to just eat when we want to...? Yes if we are all individually responsible for making our food. But for children this is not possible, and socially its not the best. Its really nice to sit down to a dinner and chat over it... but its not actually necessary is it. We could all sit around and chat at any time we wanted to... its just the fact that is a convenient time to do it when everyone is together.
Anyway, I have decided that if I am not hungry I will not eat. End of. So, thanks Lapbandgirl!
I weighed myself this morning. I thought... what the hell and hopped on. 15 stone 7 it screamed out at me. I was shocked beyond belief. All I feel is proud and happy and so amazingly wonderful. 15 and a half stone???? OH MY!!!! This is like the best thing ever. I think I am actually believing in this band now, and cutting the crap out of my diet... i.e. wine and chocolate, sorts me out. It is simply those 2 things that cause me to feel shitty, guilty and to put on weight. They don't even make me that happy when I am eating them, so why do I (and 1000 of others who have the same problem...)?
Nothing feels as good as getting on those scales and hearing those pounds getting lower.
I really shouldn't have logged it today, but it felt so good I had to. I just hope that on Monday its not higher, because that makes me feel worse than anything. I had a bad experience last year that way just after having my band sorted... I lost about 9 pounds in a week do you remember? Well obviously I checked and checked and checked and the scales told the truth, but when I jumped on the following week it was higher again ad it really puts me backwards. Its like some kind of twisted mental game or something.
I have really taken on board Lapbandgirl's comment of the other week... Thanks Erica. I don't know why but this comment has REALLY helped me... like a word at the right time.
She said:
"...we shouldn't be eating by the clock, just when we're hungry. If you don't
feel like much dinner, don't eat it... but don't think you have to eat
something..."
Now we all know this is true right? However, until that moment I read that, I hadn't really GOT it. Why the Fuck do I eat if I am not hungry? Why??? Seriously? I honestly don't know. We get up and its breakfast so we have to have something to eat right... Then its lunch, so we better eat something. Then dinner.... etc.
(-what follows is a really weird post of my meanderings and righting the worlds wrongs so quit now if you don't want to be inanely bored)
Actually no. Just because I have a pencil in my pocket doesn't mean I have to sharpen it. I only sharpen it if I need to right? What happened to us? If you pardon the pun, why do we have the all consuming desire to keep the motor running?
Its taken me a about a week pondering this comment from Erika to really sort my shit out. I have been feeling guilty if I don't eat breakfast so I make sure I have lunch. So as I am puking the lunch up over the sink I am now worried that I am gonna drop dead from starvation. Was I actually hungry in the first place? The thought does not enter my mind.
So these last few days I have really taken stock of where I am at head space wise. I get up in the morning and the last thing I want to do is eat. I DO however want to drink. So that's what I do. Its half past 12 right now in the UK... about the time one starts thinking of ones guts... Why? I am not actually hungry... so I have to ignore this urge to stuff myself as that is all it is. Its not driven by hunger or need for physical sustenance. Its driven by the clock. I mean... what? Why do we do this?
*Shakes head with utter confusion*
So I am not going to eat by the clock. I am going to consider if I feel hungry before I eat anything. this is hard because obviously as wives/girlfriend's/mothers we have to feed our brood when they get hungry (which is oddly around the clock... so maybe we are making the same mistakes there... there really should be no time for lunch or dinner... it should be when you want it.) So to make it easier on us we call it lunch time or tea time or dinner time as it saves the poor woman having to slave her guts out in the kitchen endlessly when ever someone comes in and says "I'm hungry."
So Lunch, breakfast and dinner have become an institution that has been brought about by laziness in fact. Bare bones and all... if we really ate when we were hungry we would all eat at completely different times. You never see a rabbit stop whatever he is doing and sit down to some grass on the dot of 5pm do you?
To make it easier on ourselves we give ourselves times for these things... so we can plan our days around them. This is why it becomes such a bloody problem for some of us.
So is it possible to just eat when we want to...? Yes if we are all individually responsible for making our food. But for children this is not possible, and socially its not the best. Its really nice to sit down to a dinner and chat over it... but its not actually necessary is it. We could all sit around and chat at any time we wanted to... its just the fact that is a convenient time to do it when everyone is together.
Anyway, I have decided that if I am not hungry I will not eat. End of. So, thanks Lapbandgirl!
Wednesday, 14 May 2008
Another good one
Another good day. Am at home writing this when normally I would be at work, but have managed to change my late pupils to earlier in the day making an earlier night for me. Food wise its been a bit weird. I seem to have these odd few days where I cant eat much every now and then. In fact I think it was the same time as last week thinking about it. Anyway, today I have eaten 1 bite of toast and a slither of fried egg white. I was going to have 1 fried egg on 1 piece of toast for my lunch, but my band had other ideas, so all I got was a couple of teeny weeny measly mouthfuls which amounted to practically nothing. Then I went to work and en-route, during and on the way back, drank a carton of Tymbark Vega juice. Then when I got home DH had made Jacket potatoes, beans and salad for dinner. I managed 1 mouthful of salad, 1 mouthful of jacket potato and a few beans and then I was done. Since then I have had an orange juice. I am not actually hungry. I don't feel quite 'full' or satiated in any way, but I am most certainly not hungry. I might have a yogurt when I go to bed, but today's intake has been seriously low. I don't think I have even broken 300 cals to be honest.
Here are some beautiful pictures of Mary's kittens. They are 11 days old and terribly cute. A couple have just started to open their eyes and they are so teeny tiny!
Tuesday, 13 May 2008
Another good day
Today has been good. Really good.
1st DH got the job at McDonalds. YAY. I can start to breathe again.
2nd My Dad is out of hospital and on the mend from his 'antibiotic resistant bacterial infection'... shall we just say MRSA??? Yep. thought so.
3rd I washed my car - by hand!
4th Terry 'The Scumbag' Spellman came over and coughed up £376.50 for the work DH had done for him last month. He wasn't going to but I 'out Jew-ed' him! DH was just gonna let it go and not bother... which I totally understand, but I was not going to let it go. I spent ages on the floor polishing all his gold and silver and arranging it in new ways and making it look good. It was in a complete and utter state when we got it. How dare he try and get away with giving us nothing. I made sure I made out an invoice for our services, and I got every penny I asked for as well I should. DH is really pleased and I am thrilled, because it means that we have actually saved ourselves this month. I mean the guy has damn near put us into bankruptcy. Its because of him we cant claim dole, or claim on our mortgage protection etc... So really he should pay more, but I was fair. I asked for what we spent out, and that's what I got. I had to work hard for it though. He now knows who has the balls of iron in this family though.
5th We got all the stuff we needed for a cool money plan we wanted to set up and sent that off. That should be started within the week, so that's cool.
And finally my diet today has again been really good.
Prozac and coffee for breakfast
clear chicken consomme with a little pasta floating in it for lunch
dinner was Pasta Puttanesca
I have had 3 big glasses of water and a half litre of orange juice too. Put all that together with washing the car and also walking down the village quickly to post the letters, I have had a good lot of exercise too.
Rock on.
1st DH got the job at McDonalds. YAY. I can start to breathe again.
2nd My Dad is out of hospital and on the mend from his 'antibiotic resistant bacterial infection'... shall we just say MRSA??? Yep. thought so.
3rd I washed my car - by hand!
4th Terry 'The Scumbag' Spellman came over and coughed up £376.50 for the work DH had done for him last month. He wasn't going to but I 'out Jew-ed' him! DH was just gonna let it go and not bother... which I totally understand, but I was not going to let it go. I spent ages on the floor polishing all his gold and silver and arranging it in new ways and making it look good. It was in a complete and utter state when we got it. How dare he try and get away with giving us nothing. I made sure I made out an invoice for our services, and I got every penny I asked for as well I should. DH is really pleased and I am thrilled, because it means that we have actually saved ourselves this month. I mean the guy has damn near put us into bankruptcy. Its because of him we cant claim dole, or claim on our mortgage protection etc... So really he should pay more, but I was fair. I asked for what we spent out, and that's what I got. I had to work hard for it though. He now knows who has the balls of iron in this family though.
5th We got all the stuff we needed for a cool money plan we wanted to set up and sent that off. That should be started within the week, so that's cool.
And finally my diet today has again been really good.
Prozac and coffee for breakfast
clear chicken consomme with a little pasta floating in it for lunch
dinner was Pasta Puttanesca
I have had 3 big glasses of water and a half litre of orange juice too. Put all that together with washing the car and also walking down the village quickly to post the letters, I have had a good lot of exercise too.
Rock on.
Monday, 12 May 2008
food diary
Thought I might add a food diary... whenever you see this title post... if you dont want to be bored rigid with the contents of my stomach for the day... then dont read it. Its more for me to remember what I did than anything else.
Prozac
Berroca
Coffee
1 carton Tymbark Vega Juice
Coffee
Coffee
Chilli con Carne (2 Tbsp) + Rice (1.5 Tbsp)
3 glasses red wine... to finish it up!! HA HA
Prozac
Berroca
Coffee
1 carton Tymbark Vega Juice
Coffee
Coffee
Chilli con Carne (2 Tbsp) + Rice (1.5 Tbsp)
3 glasses red wine... to finish it up!! HA HA
Giving myself the feel good factor
This time last month I was 16 stone 1
That's 5 pounds off in a month. Coooooool.
I am officially at my 6 month mark today. I have lost 32 pounds in 6 months.
I have to forget about the whole year that was wasted before this.
I should be feeling BLOODY FABULOUS right now. 32 pounds in 6 months??? UNBELIEVABLE Without dieting??? Its a MIRACLE.
But I am not feeling fabulous because of the wasted time I went through for 8 months putting all that fat back on again when it broke. How can I forget about it. this time last year I was feeling THE BUSINESS. I was full of confidence and self assured and all was right with the world. I had lost less than I have now at that time, but I felt better then than now.
the band break was a really disastrous thing to happen. It has made the process seem very very very slow... and actually...
I AM DOING BETTER THAN I WAS LAST TIME!
I am gonna try and think positively about it, and consider the second operation a completely different operation... maybe I can think of it like I had a better band put in, or an upgrade or something and then I might feel less annoyed at the whole breakage debacle.
I am feeling better just writing this actually. I am feeling really good at losing 32 pounds... 2 stone 4!! WOW in just 6 months without starving myself or having to combine different types of foods or cut out this or that. This is the most wonderful invention and I have to start believing in myself that I actually AM going to be slim... slimmer than I ever felt possible. I have to also believe that the band is NOT going to break. I am looking forward to May 21st with a feeling of dread. I am not superstitious, and I am not thinking that something will happen at all, but the thought that last year on the 21st May I was in such agonising pain and no one found out... makes me want to throw up. How did the leave me like that. I had x-rays and scans and all kinds and NO ONE SAID ANYTHING. They must have seen it as I saw it clear as a bloody bell and I'm no doctor. It makes me feel terrible.
But 32 pounds... when this thing is working its working like a wonder horse!
Dare I think about buying smaller clothes yet?? Everything is hanging off me... but I am so loathe to buy new stuff in case I cry like an idiot or something that it either fits or doesn't or whatever. God I feel like a complete emotional wreck today.
I repeat... I am 6 months out of my band upgrade (Hmm feels good)
I am 32 pounds lighter.
I feel GREAT.
Better post my 6 month photo I guess!!! check out my photo log later.
That's 5 pounds off in a month. Coooooool.
I am officially at my 6 month mark today. I have lost 32 pounds in 6 months.
I have to forget about the whole year that was wasted before this.
I should be feeling BLOODY FABULOUS right now. 32 pounds in 6 months??? UNBELIEVABLE Without dieting??? Its a MIRACLE.
But I am not feeling fabulous because of the wasted time I went through for 8 months putting all that fat back on again when it broke. How can I forget about it. this time last year I was feeling THE BUSINESS. I was full of confidence and self assured and all was right with the world. I had lost less than I have now at that time, but I felt better then than now.
the band break was a really disastrous thing to happen. It has made the process seem very very very slow... and actually...
I AM DOING BETTER THAN I WAS LAST TIME!
I am gonna try and think positively about it, and consider the second operation a completely different operation... maybe I can think of it like I had a better band put in, or an upgrade or something and then I might feel less annoyed at the whole breakage debacle.
I am feeling better just writing this actually. I am feeling really good at losing 32 pounds... 2 stone 4!! WOW in just 6 months without starving myself or having to combine different types of foods or cut out this or that. This is the most wonderful invention and I have to start believing in myself that I actually AM going to be slim... slimmer than I ever felt possible. I have to also believe that the band is NOT going to break. I am looking forward to May 21st with a feeling of dread. I am not superstitious, and I am not thinking that something will happen at all, but the thought that last year on the 21st May I was in such agonising pain and no one found out... makes me want to throw up. How did the leave me like that. I had x-rays and scans and all kinds and NO ONE SAID ANYTHING. They must have seen it as I saw it clear as a bloody bell and I'm no doctor. It makes me feel terrible.
But 32 pounds... when this thing is working its working like a wonder horse!
Dare I think about buying smaller clothes yet?? Everything is hanging off me... but I am so loathe to buy new stuff in case I cry like an idiot or something that it either fits or doesn't or whatever. God I feel like a complete emotional wreck today.
I repeat... I am 6 months out of my band upgrade (Hmm feels good)
I am 32 pounds lighter.
I feel GREAT.
Better post my 6 month photo I guess!!! check out my photo log later.
Getting smaller... slowly
Well the mega weight losses are a thing of the past now, but I am losing steadily. I lost 3 pounds this week... taking my weight to 15 stone 10 pounds. This is excellent. I am really really proud of myself. I just want another couple of good weeks so that I can be a bit slimmer for my holiday at the beginning of June. It will be a really nice feeling to be 15 and a half stone or something when I go away. I haven't been on a nice hot summer holiday weighing less than 16 stone since I was a teenager. It makes the heat so much more bearable, I remember that from last year in Sri Lanka. I cant imagine being 2 stone heavier than I was then... it would have been dreadful.
So total weightloss now is 2 stone 4 pounds since banding in February 2007 - or 32 pounds! YAY
food today so far... 1 berocca, and 1 carton of veggie juice to get my nutrients. tonight I am making chilli con carne with rice, so that will be nice. Off to work in a bit, not looking forward to that in this weather, but it brings home the bacon.
Talking of bacon... DH still hasn't heard if he got the job at McDonalds yet. I think he is secretly hoping that he wont, but on the other hand hoping that he will because we need the regular cash. That scumbag Terry Spellman really sold us down the river. If he had told us that he was not really in a position to do it, we could have claimed on our mortgage payments insurance when he was made redundant, but going self employed for that Shit head has meant we cannot even get dole money or any financial help whatsoever. I hope he fucking chokes on his money. The bastard hasn't even sent us the money he does owe us. I hope he goes bust. no one should treat people like that, especially my DH because he is so lovely and doesn't deserve it.
So now DH is carrying stock for his old company on a 10% commission deal and also another local supplier for 10% too... if he gets the job at McDonalds aswell, we will be laughing.
Bit of a come down for the poor guy, but beggars can't be choosers. We went out and got him a car yesterday... a fabulous bargain of a diesel saloon for £600 just like my old Rover I crashed. so I feel a bit awful driving around in my new MG whilst DH has no air con or any luxuries... but he says not to feel awful because its a nice family car and we need one decent car in the family anyway. There isn't any point getting a good car just to plow it around the country and run it into the ground, so he is happy, so I should be too.
will update later if i get any more news...
So total weightloss now is 2 stone 4 pounds since banding in February 2007 - or 32 pounds! YAY
food today so far... 1 berocca, and 1 carton of veggie juice to get my nutrients. tonight I am making chilli con carne with rice, so that will be nice. Off to work in a bit, not looking forward to that in this weather, but it brings home the bacon.
Talking of bacon... DH still hasn't heard if he got the job at McDonalds yet. I think he is secretly hoping that he wont, but on the other hand hoping that he will because we need the regular cash. That scumbag Terry Spellman really sold us down the river. If he had told us that he was not really in a position to do it, we could have claimed on our mortgage payments insurance when he was made redundant, but going self employed for that Shit head has meant we cannot even get dole money or any financial help whatsoever. I hope he fucking chokes on his money. The bastard hasn't even sent us the money he does owe us. I hope he goes bust. no one should treat people like that, especially my DH because he is so lovely and doesn't deserve it.
So now DH is carrying stock for his old company on a 10% commission deal and also another local supplier for 10% too... if he gets the job at McDonalds aswell, we will be laughing.
Bit of a come down for the poor guy, but beggars can't be choosers. We went out and got him a car yesterday... a fabulous bargain of a diesel saloon for £600 just like my old Rover I crashed. so I feel a bit awful driving around in my new MG whilst DH has no air con or any luxuries... but he says not to feel awful because its a nice family car and we need one decent car in the family anyway. There isn't any point getting a good car just to plow it around the country and run it into the ground, so he is happy, so I should be too.
will update later if i get any more news...
Friday, 9 May 2008
Halelujah - I can eat
Well a nights sleep seemed to settle the problem of the strangulating tightness of yesterday.
I was able to have my coffee this morning without incident, and a couple of thin bread sticks for lunch and I have managed to get a couple of pints of water down me too which I am VERY pleased about in this heat. Its 28 degrees in the garden... wonderful! Long may it continue.
Dinner tonight is Chicken casserole with new potatos and peas. Hopefully our burgeoning family will enjoy it. Goodness knows what it will be like when Alexandra arrives! 5 adults and a child in one house. Phew!
I was able to have my coffee this morning without incident, and a couple of thin bread sticks for lunch and I have managed to get a couple of pints of water down me too which I am VERY pleased about in this heat. Its 28 degrees in the garden... wonderful! Long may it continue.
Dinner tonight is Chicken casserole with new potatos and peas. Hopefully our burgeoning family will enjoy it. Goodness knows what it will be like when Alexandra arrives! 5 adults and a child in one house. Phew!
Thursday, 8 May 2008
VERY VERY TIGHT
Does anyone have problems when the sun shines? I have been getting progressively tighter over the last 3 days, and am wondering if it has anything to do with the heat...? I cant think of any other reason why today I have had the sum total of:
1 60mg Prozac tablet
1/2 coffee followed by another 1/2 coffee an hour later
2 teaspoons of yogurt
1/2 glass water
1 teaspoon rice and 1 teaspoon of chicken
Its now 9:30pm and I can still feel something in my band. I am actually worried about drinking anything. I really am at a loss as to why my band is just SO tight today.
Yesterday it was really weird... I had a happy meal from McDonald's and I took it really really slowly and managed to eat the hamburger and chips. THIS IS A MIRACLE IN ITSELF... firstly because its like... bread! and second because it occured before 2pm! Food before this time is practically unheard of these days. Then later on at dinner time I couldn't even eat 1 bite of lasagne. Random
Today has been the MOST frustrating day on my band to date. To be honest, I think today is what I thought my life was going to be like every day after I had my operation. But that hasn't happened... until now. Its not as if I have been puking and puking and making myself sore or anything like that. there is no reason I can possibly think of other than its got a bit warmer and I have been feeling really hot these last few days, whereas I have been freezing for months. Ho Hum. I guess it can only help with the weight loss though hey!
I am getting into a really bad habit too. If I can't eat my dinner, I get DH to go get me some chocolate. Today that's not going to happen, because I cant even drink water let alone chocolates... but yesterday I had M&Ms and the day before it was minstrels (a personal favorite!). I have gotta stop that really.
Anyway, a good day in every other way. Our new lodger Sue moved in, and although it seems like she has taken over the house with plants, I hope to be able to streamline everything so that it goes back to being nice and clean looking again. Plants are wonderful, but they do seem to make the place look cluttered.
Night all.
1 60mg Prozac tablet
1/2 coffee followed by another 1/2 coffee an hour later
2 teaspoons of yogurt
1/2 glass water
1 teaspoon rice and 1 teaspoon of chicken
Its now 9:30pm and I can still feel something in my band. I am actually worried about drinking anything. I really am at a loss as to why my band is just SO tight today.
Yesterday it was really weird... I had a happy meal from McDonald's and I took it really really slowly and managed to eat the hamburger and chips. THIS IS A MIRACLE IN ITSELF... firstly because its like... bread! and second because it occured before 2pm! Food before this time is practically unheard of these days. Then later on at dinner time I couldn't even eat 1 bite of lasagne. Random
Today has been the MOST frustrating day on my band to date. To be honest, I think today is what I thought my life was going to be like every day after I had my operation. But that hasn't happened... until now. Its not as if I have been puking and puking and making myself sore or anything like that. there is no reason I can possibly think of other than its got a bit warmer and I have been feeling really hot these last few days, whereas I have been freezing for months. Ho Hum. I guess it can only help with the weight loss though hey!
I am getting into a really bad habit too. If I can't eat my dinner, I get DH to go get me some chocolate. Today that's not going to happen, because I cant even drink water let alone chocolates... but yesterday I had M&Ms and the day before it was minstrels (a personal favorite!). I have gotta stop that really.
Anyway, a good day in every other way. Our new lodger Sue moved in, and although it seems like she has taken over the house with plants, I hope to be able to streamline everything so that it goes back to being nice and clean looking again. Plants are wonderful, but they do seem to make the place look cluttered.
Night all.
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