Photo's

I have added new photos to my shrinking drama here: Photo Gallery Feb 2007 to Present

I must admit I am not impressed with the size of my arris! It looks a gazillion times fatter and like, rounder!! I don't know what the heck is going on, but it must just be that the pants fit better and it's covering more of it or something. I can see definite changes around my middle and back and so it physically cannot be bigger, but still *sniffs*

I am a couple of kg's under my surgery weight now, so that's making me feel better, but I seem to have lost restriction over the last 4 or 5 days. Dramatically so.

Since my last fill I have been subsisting on, for breakfast maybe a green tea or a mint tea, soup for lunch and then a portion of the family dinner in the evening. It would take me ages to eat, and I find (contrary to every other bandster in the land it would seem) that sitting at the table to eat is not good for me. I sit on the sofa and eat my dinner after everyone else has had theirs. it worked.

Yesterday, however, I made lunch for DS and I - jacket potato with tuna and sweetcorn - and ate it. Then went to TB's daughter's party and had a piece of banana bread, piece of chocolate cake, jam and cheese sandwich and a tomato. All were just over bite size, but I still managed them no chokes.

 

Then we came home and I cooked for the lodgers - chickpea curry. I was hungry so had a bowl of it in the car en route to our mates G an R for the evening. We ordered a Domino's Pizza there and I had 4 slices of Veggie Volcano over the hour and a half we were there.

 

We came home and I had some more of the chickpeas curry in a bowl.

None of these were earth shatteringly massive portions, but this is A HUUUUUUGE amount compared to say 2 weeks ago.

2 weeks ago I would never have been able to eat banana bread or cake or pizza!!!!

So, my loss seems to be making my little friend Albert take a back seat.

I am deliberating on whether to call in reinforcements, or give it a week or two and see what happens...

I have never been in this situation before. I know that seems really hard to believe, but I have never had a great restriction which suddenly disappears and the tell tale signs like you all get.

I should maybe be unhappy about this but I am actually thinking "Sweet lord, this thing is doing what it does for other mortals!!!" and enjoying the experience. At least with this experience and sensation I have been reading about on blogs for over 4 years and know it's normal!!

 

So to fill or not to fill... I dunno yet, but will of course tell you when I do. I am currently hungry so am off in search of succor...

Yay another number on the scales!!

Man the weighing in Kilo's thing is really working magic on my dumb brain. I cannot believe I have managed to fool it since October and it still hasn't found out!

I have no idea why but it just makes me feel AMAZING when I see the scale move from 113.3 to 112.9 today. We are talking realistically 400 grams. But I don't give a shit! It's a whole 0.4kgs!!!! 4 places on the scale!! My dumb brain that has been using stones and pounds all it's life sees this as being truly earth shattering!

Before when I was weighing in lbs and I saw a 4 point shift it meant 4 pounds. It was a complete psych out when that happened. I would then be so drastically disappointed at losing half a pound. It would feel like everything I had been doing was for absolute nothing, shove me into a fit of depression and slam my face into a chocolate fudge brownie or 8.

changing to Kilo's means I feel stoke on very little weight loss. The numbers change so quickly that it feels like I am really getting places. I know I am actually going very very slow actually, but the trend has only been down since December... that HAS to be a huge milestone in the history of this blog. I am letting my band work for me and just going with it. This has to be the first time I haven't fought the band since I had it inserted 4 years ago.

Ok, I went up a lot higher than my surgery weight, in fact i think I was back up to my heaviest weight ever... but since then I have lost 9.1 kilograms! I am really really happy with that. I am a quarter of the way there so even though it's taken me 6 months, I can see the end result of this nightmare journey in 18 months or so. 2 years in the grand scheme of things is no problem.

I feel positive and happy and glad all over! I will take some more pictures and add them to the weight loss photo gallery this weekend as it's nearly 10kgs! LOL.

Little non scale victories this past couple of weeks include my watch not being tight around my wrist and digging into me any more (or should I say it doesn't dig into me 'once again'!) and I can wear my bra's again without wanting to wear an oxygen backpack to help me breathe!

I refused point blank to buy new bras so I just stopped wearing them for the last 6 months. It has been hard stopping those bad girls from a bid to freedom at the gym, work, shopping etc, but I just was disgusted that I had put on so much weight that I could no longer fit into my 42GG bras. I was NOT going to buy 44 or even get one of those extensions. I just let them fly free!!

I got a dab hand at wearing smock tops and shirts that didn't give a shout out to my nips and when I was teaching I trussed myself up for a few hours. Whilst wearing the evil yolks I could not drink or eat, even for several hours after their removal. However, this week I shoved one on and was pleasantly surprised that I not only drank a coffee that a pupil made me, but didn't get home and rip the thing off and fling it on the counter but sat down and ate dinner with it on, and only realised I still had it on when we got ready for bed!

So, there must have been a bit of back/chest shrinkage. All I can say to that is AMEN!

So, hello to the 112's. Having been with the 113's a while I hope I am not with you for long, and roll on the 111's.

Happy Bunny

Today, Bunny is most definitely happy.

I have lost 1.3kgs his week bringing me to 113.3kgs ... which is about 3 pounds and I am now a whole kg under my original Surgery weight which was 114.3

Just been to the gym and burnt off 350 calories too so feeling freaking smug.

Might take some more pictures of my carcass later on if I remember. I kind of want to get to 10kgs lost though so that I can see a good difference. I figure that if I take pctures every 5kgs, it will make an awesome photo shrinking montage.

Anyway, hope you're all doing ok and making progress with this little silicone baby. If you are not, then take heart and read back through this blog as its been hell quite frankly, but things are moving on down now!

hugs

xbunnyx

The Gym

I am struggling with the gym at the moment... not because it's hard work, or I hate it, or anything negative like that, but because I have hurt my foot really bad. I even went to A and E on Friday - during the Royal Wedding - to get it x-rayed.

My gym instructor says it's some kind of muscle thing and I didn't quite catch the name of it, but it was something like bla-bla-itis. It's the worst thing to happen to me right now.

Not only was I enjoying the gym, but we had been going regularly since 28th January 3 times a week and I had really improved my fitness levels. TB and I both started out lightly and didn't even break a sweat, but after a few sessions we really started to get going and I was doing 30 minutes on the treadmill at 5.3kph on random hills level 7!!! I was well pleased with myself. That was followed by 20 minutes cycling at level 9 and 75rpm and then 10 minutes rowing or mixed leg weights.

I was well chuffed with myself.

My foot had been playing up a lot, and it would be really really sore the next morning, but once I got going it would ease the knots out and would be ok. Any time I sat still for a bit, I would hobble for a while, but nothing really major. It was livable.

We went away on the 15th April for DS's Internet school residential weekend thing in Wales. It was awesome but meant that there was no gym on the Friday or the Monday. Wednesday went by as TB wasn't feeling great, and I had loads to do having been away for 4 days. Friday it was shut because of Good Friday, then Monday was shut too. The following Wednesday - 27th April by now - we went.

I typed in the usual 5.3 at level 7 on the teadmill and it nearly killed me. Those short 2 weeks had nuked my fitness level and I needed to slow it right down and we actually come home early as we were both dead! I was shocked actually at how quickly you lose fitness!

I was hobbling a bit afterwards, but no more than normal, but Thursday morning WOW! What a pain. It was so excruciating, I just stayed in bed and on the sofa. It KILLED!

On Friday, I managed to get through the wedding ceremony but googled foot problems during the hour wait for the balcony scene and came across the words "Stress Fracture" and got the willies! So we hot footed it (hee hee) to A and E with DH rightly thinking that most people would not be harming themselves currently as they would be watching the wedding. We got seen to really quickly and stuff and it wasn't broken, just sprained some of the muscles.

That didn't really help.. especially the usual "Take some ibuprofen..." which followed with me once again saying to a doctor who has ALL my notes... I CANT TAKE IBUPROFEN I HAVE A BAND YOU MORON.

*sigh*

So I popped some of my dads stash of codeine tabs he gave me now that he doesn't have pain from cancer and they knocked the pain on the head good and proper!

But today, I have been to the gym and my foot hurts now. Right now. Tomorrow its going to be criminal.

I was even really good at the gym and did 30 minutes walking at 4.3kph and no hills :-( and then 10 minutes rowing and 20 minutes bike at level 5. It seems it is still not low enough not to cause me pain.

This sucks.

On the other hand, I think to myself... it hurts anyway, so why not just suck it up. So shall be continuing until the tendon snaps or whatever and I cant do it any more!!!

I shall keep taking it easy and see how things go. Rubbish cos I only burnt off 300 cals today instead of 450.

I also have the squits today - think it was the tuna I had last night. Was a bit manky tasting.

Down down down & out

Would love to tell you peeps that I have lost shit loads this month. Haven't. But have lost!

YAAY

Last Saturday I had a little teeny weeny fill with Jane. Just 0.2mls but blimey, what a difference! I have puked quite a bit, so I need to go careful until i work it out. I haven't, however, had one of those awful 'can't swallow my own spit' episodes. I think i would definitely have had one if I had had 0.25!! Isn't it funny how very very VERY little fluid makes a difference when things are going right!

It's impressed me to be honest.

I am currently waiting on my Roast Beef dinner to go down... small amount of vomit where I didn't completely chew a bit of broccoli to death... and then I can have my pudding. I might give it about 2 hours until I try!

All I can say girls is HOOOO FLIPING RAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got on the scale this morning, and it wasn't earth shattering (maybe that is a good thing too!! HAHA) but it was lower. 114.9kgs. A whole new number to play around with and plug into the Gym Machines!!

I have only lost 7kgs since October, but I feel so much better for it. This time last year I was only a few pounds lower than I am now. That gives me a lot of hope as I got a whole HEAP heavier. It's slow, but the trend is down down down!!!

Tomorrow I have ambitiously decided to stage a Hen Night for my friend.

We start with tapas... mixed olives, cheeses and quail eggs then a starter of Mozzarella wrapped with Prosciutto and dressed with a Chilli Spiked Pesto, followed for Main of a Mixed Fondue - Beef, Scallops, Prawns, Corn, Okra, Broccoli and Cauliflower with different dips and a tempura batter to fry it in and the finishing with Rhubarb and Lemongrass Fool, with rhubarb lemonade (made with the juice from the rhubarb, desert wine and lemon juice!! YUM)

should be good, but with the stress, having to wear a bra and the general quantity I am feeling less than optimistic about how much I will eat. At least I am at home and can puke at will!! LOL

Anyway, much love ladies, must go and watch my fave show... Home and Away!!! LOVE IT!

night all

rar

small roar.

Like what a lion would do if someone said to a sad lion in a cage "GROWL SUCKER!"

rar.

Like... um, yeah.

Feeling a tad pants. No real reason, just the usual. Weightloss about 100g a month so pretty rubbish.

"The right way though" I hear you say.

Yeah, it's the right way. Hopefully by April 2036 I will be at goal. Who knows. Seems a little far off if ya know what I mean.

Do you know what I mean?

I just keep rolling that "4 years maaaaannnn" over in my head and feeling like a failure. No, not a failure, like I was failed. I feel cheated again and miserable.

*Massive sigh*.

On a positive note, having a fill tomorrow. Cant freaking afford it at all, but what the heck.

Just so you know how much I can eat, at breakfast time, with a band... check this out:

Do I feel guilty? Hell yeah!!! I should not be able to eat this food porn. The only plus is that it was 100% homemade, organic everything and the bread was my own too. Yeah, I know - doesn't matter a fig does it.

Hence the fill... I am thinking 0.25ml...

I need a boost. And quick.

hmm

Things are plugging on as normal around here.Nothing much to report on the band front, or the weightloss front except that I am probably eating too many calories... I think I should be eating about 1600 per day to lose a couple of pounds a week.... so going by that I figure that I must be exceeding this somewhat! LOL

I haven't really lost any significant weight, and you can see by my updated photos that there isn't much of a difference to the old carcass either. I can kind of see some movement of blubber on my back, but lets be honest... you have to really try hard to see the difference!

Oh well, I am not worried about it and I am happy in my very very slow progression or 'turtling' as Tina might say. I am certainly not going up so PHEW!

I currently have other annoyances. Check these out. I am flummoxed to say the least. I have lupus right... however, I have never had a rash with it, and my bloods are all fine showing no inflammation and my ANA test is also fine. So what the heck are these bad boys?

and a close up:

another, just like it's brother but smaller:

One that is a trinity of scratchyness:

and one that's on the return - by tomorrow it will be a horror on the bra line:

I have obviously consulted many many a photo on google of discoid lupus rash and this is pretty much the same. It has been scraped *wince* two times and analyzed for bugs or microbial pests, does not respond to steroid creams of varying strengths, fungicidal creams of many varieties, antihistamines or a bleeding good scratching.

Its a pest and a thorough annoyance. Two of them are in really 'wrong' areas. as a teacher it is not the done thing to st scratching yourself in lessons, but even more so on your bikini line or bra line! The big nasty back one is fair game though as is the one on the other side.

all of these weird things are on my trunk so I just don't know what they are but I have had them for about a year now in varying degrees of size and they are multiplying at about 1 new one every 3 months or so.

So there you go. any ideas on a postcard to

"Run Rabbit Run, The Warren, Bunnyville, England"

Thank you.

How the other half lives... or... What I wouldn't give to have THIS report!

The other half of me - my brother - came up the other weekend. On the way to our house he stopped at a service station and after having a Burger, chips, coke (full fat!) and 6 dunkin' donuts, jumped on those pay per weigh scales that these places have. He was obviously fully clothed and also in his coat.

How the other half lives...


Yes, that's right. Even after a full meal and loading him down with his clothes, he is underweight with a BMI of 19.5. He also has only 12% body fat.

I, on the other hand, have the fat index of a pork scratching.

How is it possible to be the complete opposite of my ever loving brother? It reminds me of the poem Jack Sprat...

Jack Sprat could eat no fat
His wife could eat no lean
And so betwixt the two of them
They licked the platter clean

Yes, it is indeed the conundrum of my life.

Bad weekend

Hello my old fruits. That's what I need to stick to - fruit!

Oh dear, it was a bit of a chocolate frosted weekend. I dunno about you guys but having restriction is GREAT!

O my gosh did you like EVER think you would hear me say that after 4 years of whinging about how rubbish this band is?

This weekend I felt like murder. I was post menstrual - goodness only knows why - and in need of crap to eat. I ate two large bags of minstrels (Caroline - we share that passion!), a couple of bottles of wine, 10 packets of quavers, a few packets of crisps, a curry, a Chinese and to top it off - rice and sauce - the yummy fermented bean sauce I love that's like 1000 cals a teaspoon! I was proper bloated on Friday and Saturday and Sunday. Mmmmm Yummy.

So after this spectacular fall from grace I was a little wary of the scales... so I hopped on just for laughs this morning. 117.3kgs HEEE HEEE!!! Exactly the same thank goodness! I am taking that and running with it.

I delved into this conundrum a little more - you know the one:

Eat dross, stay the same weight/lose weight

This is a common thread which I can never seem to grasp. I plugged in all my calories into Livestrong.com and came up with an interesting fact. 

I ate less than 2500 calories each day!

Because of the band, although I wouldn't want to do it all the time, I ate a load of crap and was still under my calorie goal. Before the band before my band was fixed and I had the right restriction I was eating all my meals + CRAP.

I am not going to lie, my eating is pretty rough sometimes, but I am glad that I now know that Albert is helping me with damage limitation. I went to bed full as a stuffed feather pillow. I could not possibly have eaten anything else. It just wasn't possible for me to over eat at the weekend!

So ladies... this is what it's like to have a lapband huh? I like it!

Anyway, after 3 days of bingeing on junk foods, this morning my mouth feels like Ghandi's flip flop and I am craving salad and water and fruit (some chance!) and water and veg and water. Water mainly! I am off to the gym later so have a great monday everyone!

FOOD PORN BLOG

Oh my gosh after reading that Tina's husband was supplying her with food porn on his blog I went on a quest for more. Like her, I truly believe looking at it in all its glory can be just as good as the real thing and I found a cracker and this is it over at foodiewife-kitchen.blogspot.com click the link to view in technicolour!

FOOD PORN HEAVEN

Wow she is AWESOME and I am totally 'getting off' on her cooking. It is out of this world and some of her recipes that she creates are to die for. I will of course never be able to indulge in (for instance) lemon smashed potatoes - potatoes boiled in milk and then mashed with it and some lemon zest and served with green beans and lemon infused fish fillets. Wow, unreal stuff but truly gorgeous.

Indulge at your own risk!

Little deal

As opposed to a big deal!

The scales gave in an moved to 117.3kgs this morning. YAY. That means in just over a month I have done half a kilogram. So, like I said, little deal.

The gym was tough today for some reason. I found myself willing the time to go and I was really achy. I guess some days are just harder than others. Who knows.

Did my training for my new 'secret' job yesterday. I cant say what it is outright, because I can't draw attention to the fact that I am doing it and having it tied in with personal details and coming up on a google search, but it happens every 10 years, involves lots of questions... if you get my drift.

That was pretty cool. I am looking forward to it a lot actually.

Anyway, that's me checking in for now. Still alive, still not thin ;-)

Adios!