Monday, 5 March 2012

coffee

I am enjoying a nice coffee this morning. It is delicious. It has milk in and is going down without touching the sides. I don't even have to think about it!!

I had 0.2mls taken out of my band yesterday as I have been finding it really difficult to get liquids down for the best part of a year. I always start the day with hot tea - green or black - and I would say 70% of the time this works ok.

30% of the time it doesn't and I have just finished a 5 day stretch of crappy band days. Yesterday (as the law of sod goes) was fine though!!

A good band day (at 6.5ml restriction) for me is this:

Wake up and don't feel hungry.
Have a hot green/black tea.
Have another cup microwaved as the tea in the pot is stone cold.
Think about having something to eat as I must be hungry (although don't feel it)
Forget to have something to eat
Have a cup of green/black tea.
Have a black coffee
Make the dinner, although not hungry.
Have 6 or 7 cups of green tea whilst family is eating their dinner.
Sit on the sofa at 8 or 9pm and have a pot of green tea and have a bite to eat. Then a sip of tea, then a bite to eat, then a sip of tea, then a bite to eat and another bite to eat, then a sip of tea and a little wait, then a bite to eat and then a sip of tea... ad infinitum until meal is gone.

This is OBVIOUSLY not what we need to do to eat with the band, but this is how I was living. The only way I could eat AT ALL was like the above which breaks all the band rules totally.

A bad band day at 6.5mls goes like this:

Wake up and don't feel hungry
Have a sip of black/green tea.
Black/green tea sits there and does a 'glurp' on my band.
Feel very uncomfortable and make self vomit up tea.
Have another sip of tea.
'Glurp'
Vomit tea.
Wait for 5 minutes
Have another sip of tea. and another. and another then 'glurp'
Try not to vomit and wait out the uncomfortableness.
After 30 minutes have heartburn so vomit tea.
Make bicarbonate of soda in hot water and sip.
Manage to drink all bicarb water.
Have a cup of tea
Have another cup of tea
Have a cuppa soup as its already 2 pm and this vomit /glurp fest takes AGES
Do some housework/have a life
Dont drink anything for about an hour
Make fresh tea - sip and 'glurp' back to square one where I have to vomit/sip/vomit/sip etc for ages
Make dinner
Glurp/vomit of tea during making dinner.
If get drink going down, MUST NOT STOP drinking tea as otherwise band shuts down again
Keep drinking tea
Have bit of dinner
Throw it up
Drink tea
Throw up tea
Endless endless ENDLESS farce of chucking/eating/feeling faint nightmare
Must make sure can drink by bedtime as I HAVE to take 9 pills so this freaks me out!!
End of day, exhausted from simple acts of drinking & eating.

So obviously THIS is plain wrong completely. I have just had 5 days of that shit, and I called Jane!!!!

As my weightloss has stalled and I am gaining and losing the same 2 kgs over and over for 4 months, I decided to have some fluid out... just the teeeeeenist bit - 0.2mls taking me to 6.3mls in my band and already I have noticed a difference. Such a small amount... about the size of a tear drop!

I had 0.2mls put in a year ago, and this is where my sweet point must be... its gotta be around here somewhere!

I woke up this morning HUNGRY! I haven't felt hungry for a year! I have a coffee straight off the bat without it touching the sides. This filled me up so that was cool too.

Last night we had a curry. I had a tablespoon of rice, about 10 prawns and that was it. No need for tea!!!!

Hooray as I HATE TEA!!! It had simply become a necessary evil as coffee, and I totally mean this people, was too thick. Do you get what I mean by that? coffee stuck way easier than tea and I have no idea why, so I am now overjoyed to have my lovely coffee back!! It must be that there is fine powder in it or something like that... I only use fresh coffee not instant, so that's probably why.

Anyway, hopefully it will be a bit easier to manage things... I wont be starving in the evening as I can eat during the day... who knows.

The last year has helped me lose several Kilo's but its not been healthy. I need B12 injections now too, so I need to be eating better, and need to be getting a grip of my weight so that I can maybe feel better about myself and life in general.