Wednesday, 24 March 2010


So.... many comments to moderate and MANY apologies for not blogging sooner - SORRY DARLINKS

Anyway, back to business. Now there's a word. The shop is going great guns, and was also the reason for the blogging absence. I have been at the shop every day, all day (and most evenings) since 1st March. - 24 looooong days and nights.Before we got the keys i was deliberating on having an unfill... well I did have a smidgen taken out. I SERIOUSLY considered having the lot out, but I ended up having 0.5mls out. DH suggested 0.5mls because I was fine on 7ml all through our Cretan holiday and afterward and that if that was all ok, then there should be no reason to have the lot out. So I plumped for 0.5, but to be brutally honest, I think I should have had 0.75 as I am still a bit too sticky for my liking and I wanted a rest.

If I have any more out I might even just go the whole hog and have a good long rest from the band and let my stomach lining plump up and then re-start this journey... but I am happy right now.
One of the main reasons for the unfill was because I was barely eating anything. I would cook all these beautiful meals and eat nothing. I would have to drink black coffee then milky coffee and then some warm mint tea to get the stoma working and then the mushy part of the dinner and then drink a bit and then some more until I was able to get to a part I needed to chew. If I didn't follow this regime I ate absolutely nothing and barfed. It was impossible to eat without having lots of drinks first and during the meal. they also had to be warm. Cold drinks = full stop stoma.

It was obvious I needed some out. Immediately after my unfill (after a day at work where I had stopped twice in a layby to HMS a coffee I had at a pupils house and then a cup of tea a little later on) I instantly slugged down a well needed glass of water. I felt it go straight down and was plain old relieved.

I could not face the prospect of renovating a shop and doing everything that my life entailed + all the extra on a tight as a badgers ass band. NAAAAaaaah AH!
Anyway, everything was sweet. The lady called Jane was really nice, even though it was a hefty price at £125, but she came to my house at a time that suited me, and to be fair it normally costs £90 and I have to drive for 5 hours to do it, and the petrol is about £35 anyway, so not really that bothered about it. It was great. Ran in from work and she was here having a coffee. I hopped on my sofa, she donned an apron, scrubbed her hands, disinfected my belly, opened a sterile blanket and laid out the needle and other such junk and we were done in about 1 minute. We had a good chat and then I got changed and went off to my FIL's wedding reception where I ATE REAL FOOD!!!!! WOW it was so cool. I even had seconds. then had a little panic that there was more taken out that she said, until I ate some bread roll and realized it was still not 100% me, my stomach and I all on our own thank God!!

So yes, that also tells you all that FIL from hell also finally married The Mistress. geeez what a state it was. I just cant sum it up well enough, but its on a par with the Sunday Dinner debacle of a year or so ago (for those of you who only just started reading my blog see Roast Dinner)We had been told to arrive at 7pm. Well DH doesn't walk through the door until 6:30pm, so we were on a bit of a hiding to nowhere trying to then get changed and to a pub 35 miles away by 7pm. We told him this in advance and he called us on the Friday to tell us he had told the 'caterers' to hold serving the food until 8pm for us. When he said caterers, he meant Dave and Marge the pub landlords of the poxy pub he was having it in.
Anyway, we didn't bother telling him that I was having an unfill which would push the time back further as it was soooo not worth the hassle - you see when we has said Sorry, we might be pushing it for 7pm he replied "Well it is a once in a lifetime thing!" - he being on his 2nd marriage and The Mistress being on her 4th victim now. It was all DH could do not to swallow the phone hole! Oh the laughs!!!!So at 7pm I was on the sofa being de filled, and we finally rocked up to the 'venue' (aka poxy grimy village of the damned pub) and walked in. FIL was at the bar and Mistress was in the other corner of the room. There were about 10 people dotted around. My first guess was that we were early (?!?!) but actually no one had bothered to come for sad bar-stewards wedding reception cos everyone hates him. You only have to consider the fact that neither of them bothered to come and say hello as we walked in, and didn't even acknowledge us. DH made a point of going up to him and saying hello and shaking his hand, but Mistress didn't even say hi all evening. There was an almighty row about 3 hours later when the taxi company didn't turn up to take the guests who had bothered to come back to their 'hotel' (aka the spare room in his house) and he then gets to use his favorite word 'sue' again. "I could sue them for ruining my wedding reception' 'Son, would you sign an affidavit saying that they never turned up?' of for FUCKS SAKE.
Its so pathetic. He got married in South Africa, sent us a postcard with a pre printed label on it saying they got married at such and such time, on such and such day - nice for a son to get that in the post - he couldn't even hand frigging write the thing! Then he comes back here. tell us hes hired a lovely 'venue', got 80 guests coming including some high flying sheik from Egypt, tells us hes managed to secure a couple of suites in a hotel for the guests and that they are having caterers to do the meal. Its formal wear etc etc.
the reality - which BITES ASS - its a buffet in a grim village pub for 14 people and you can stay over at his gaff for the night if you want. He was wearing Farah slacks and a nice cowboy checked shirt. Some freaking formal wear. We looked like we turned up to the wrong party!! DH and DS were both in Suits and I was wearing evening dress. its absolutely sucked bullshit.

The food was very well thought out too... NOT. A buffet ok? Roast dinner, or Chicken curry. pudding was lemon meringue pie. What the? Who the hell chose that?
Anyway, thankfully its over and they can get on with their sad lives. It was just the most fun time looking through their wedding snaps where they had rent-a-crowd to their wedding reception + loads of half starved raggedy African children paid to sit still for 5 mins by the look of it - I am so NOT joking here. Then we got a nice one of their wedding bed covered in rose petals, and one of her leg with a garter cutting of the circulation to her varicose legs. *VOMIT* about 100 of them snogging - EWWWWWWWW. It is especially grim considering I could not shake the consideration of what its like to snog someone with 3 rotten stumps for teeth and has the worst vintage halitosis on the planet. Mmmm tasty!There was also a nice on of her looking over her shoulder at the camera all virginal with the shoulder of her dress pulled low. OMFG. ****WRETCH****

They must be so in love that FIL must have forgotten that his son took on a shop at the beginning of the month. Young love hey? So we got the keys the day after this horror, but FIL has not bothered to ask how its going, or come to see the place or anything at all. Nice kick in the guts for my darling DH.
So I have been working my little tooshie off turning it from hell to heaven, and its looking seriously good.
These are some photos of the place inside before the revamp
I took these while we were viewing the place before we got the keys... this is still has the other guys stuff in and all his crap before he moved out.
These are from when we got busy inside the place... I had to sterilize the place as the guy who had it before lived in it like an ANIMAL. There was a beef curry in the fridge 1 YEAR OLD and actual human faeces on the wash basin in the loo. GRIM doesn't describe it.

This is not DH btw, its the alarm systems engineer. lol

some during the refit...

And the finished article. I will post more when its completely open and I can get it with jewels in it too :)


  1. Oh dear I've laughed till I had a stomach ache. You are sooo good at describing the antics of your in-laws! It would make such a brilliant TV series.
    The shop looks cute and cosy - it would be nice to see another pic when you're ready to open.

  2. well helloooooo. The shop does look cute and cozy..what sort of jewels are you going to sell?

    I hope the unfill helps things for you.