Tuesday, 29 April 2008

Mary Mary where are you kitties?



The fattest cat I ever did see. My lovely baby Mary is so ready for these kittens now... but she is still hanging onto them! The photo doesn't really catch her best side, but its like someone inflated a balloon in there!

She has chosen the most random of places to recline. she is pictured here sprawled on the bathroom floor right under the sink. Nothing like convenience for you. She waddles from the bathroom sleeping place to the landing sleeping place. However, today, as I was making the beds, I did catch her in the little box we made for her though... So we are STILL playing the waiting game. I really want to see those 'nit-nits' so bad now! Its so exciting - what will they be, how many, what colours etc...

Diet wise... Nothing exciting to report. Went to fat fighters (aka slimmingworld) yesterday. I weighed in at 15 stone 12. No surprises there then. What was great though, was the fact that practically all the same old people were there. A couple had got drastically slimmer, and another couple fatter. But they ALL commented on how I was looking and were like "Oh! Hello... wow, like the hair... seems to be a lot less of you too!" Which I wasn't expecting, so that was a really lovely boost to my day.

Foodwise today has not been fabulous. I crunched up 5 peanut m&m's and then had to puke them up again. then for lunch I made a jacket potato with curry sauce. Eat a bit then puked it and chucked the rest away. For dinner I made waffles, beans and egg. I eat 3/4 waffle, 1 egg and a few beans... VERY slowly. So far, no spew.

This seems to becoming a habit for me. Every day last week has been dreadful in the mornings and afternoons, but ok come the evening.

On the home front, Maria and Xandra left today. They told us on Friday that they had found a job in a holiday camp on the seaside, so I took them to the station this morning. I really hope they get on ok... I know these places are sometimes a bit hard to pin down on the payment side of things... That said, so is DH's new boss. We should have been paid last Friday 25th. Then he said he got tied up, so he would see us yesterday. Didn't happen. He said he would meet up Wednesday, but I told DH that unfortunately that was NOT OK, and he rang him and he said he would come over today. Still waiting. How can you work for someone for a whole month and then not pay them??? This is seriously doing my head in. The mortgage comes out tomorrow. Thankfully his redundancy covers it, but next month... Hard to trust someone who never does what they say they do.

So I am stressing just a TINY BIT!

Saturday, 26 April 2008

So far, No kitties

We are playing the waiting game now. It has to be literally any minute!

Mary, bless her is absolutely shattered. She is so unbelievably fat and pregnant that I fear she could go pop! we have now stopped her from going outside. She has the luxury of being free of all our other cats for a while and having the whole of the upstairs to herself. We put a litter tray in the bathroom, and her special food and water near her bed. We made her this huge box with a soft lining and a towel in the bottom. So, we are all ready to go. I am sure she will be glad to have them now as she is just lounging about all day. She was really staying upstairs a lot and only coming down to eat and pee anyway, so it is kind of better for her not to have to negotiate the stairs and everything each time she wants to do that.

I cant wait to see how many there are, and what they are. I just hope its going to be ok for her. I know its natural and all that, but still, its gotta be pretty horrible whatever type of animal you are. we are all guessing about how many she will have:

Me: 4
DH: 3
DS: 4
Maria: 4
Xandra: 5

So we shall see. I have never seen a pregnant cat before, or seen kittens born or anything like that, so I have no idea if the size of her has anything to do with the amount of kitties in there.

Anyway, band wise... things have been, how can I put it... TIGHT.

I have not had a lot of food for the last couple of days. I have been feeling pretty darn dodgy too to be honest.

Wednesday, I cant remember, but I know I had practically nothing all day and then a curry in the evening. Thursday we got fish and chips from the F+C Shop. I don't even bother ordering chips any more. I just had cod, but I only ate half, and then had to go be sick.

Yesterday was totally odd. I had an apple for my lunch, a stick of celery and some humous for a snack and then a potato waffle with a fried egg and baked beans for dinner. It was hard going, and I know I pushed it down there. I could have eaten half of it and been totally fine.

Today, as yesterdays dinner was so yummy, I made waffles, beans and fried eggs again for lunch. HA HA HA! My band was NOT having that at all.

I ate about 1 teaspoon each of waffle, egg and beans. Then after half an hour of seeing if it would 'go down' I handed my plate to DH who gobbled it down (after eating his own 3 waffles, beans and 2 eggs!!!OMG!). Then I threw up. I gave it about half an hour and tried to eat a banana. got 1/3rd down me and 45 minutes later I was seeing it for the second slimy time.

So I have not bothered to eat anything else. There doesn't seem much point. I am just drinking orange juice and might have myself a vegetable juice later. Tymbark, a Polish company, make this Vega Juice which is really nice. Beetroot and all kinds in it and its so tasty. They are only £1 for a 500ml which I think is well cool as they are really handy to have in the car and instantly fill me up. I got them in the Polish isle in Tesco's.

So feeling a bit tired right now and am going to go and have a sleep. I hope that later I will be able to eat something nice. I really miss chewing.

*UPDATE*

OK, I give in. No food for me today. I tried (twice) to eat a couple of Polish thin breadsticks with humous and the Band did not want them.

I have been sick 3 times today. The first time after the potato/egg lunch. The second after the banana. And finally the Bread Sticks and humous.

So today I had managed practically nothing. I did however manage a packet of sesame snaps, A pint of orange squash, a pint of water, a pint of vega vegetable juice and am currently in the process of eating an Activia Yoghurt.

I feel quite raw and to be honest it feels like I am a little swollen in there. I can actually feel my band if you know what I mean...? Its strange. Its definitely a tight day today. I don't think trying to eat anything else today is gonna help me much, so I am going to try again tomorrow.

Eating is definitely not the pleasure it used to be. I still enjoy what I eat, of course, but there is always that thought whether it Will go down, did I chew it well enough, am I full yet... So many questions.

Today I feel really tired and weak as its been several days without many calories at all... Something like 700 over the last 3 days. So I am going to have to see how it goes.

My main aim is to NOT puke again. I am going to make a concerted effort for it not to happen. Each mouthful 1 or 2 minutes apart. I have the chewing thing down, now I think its more a case of eating too fast and taking down too much air with my food/drink.

So there we go. I am also going to go back to slimmingworld - not because I need to, but because I want to. I really liked the whole process of weighing weekly and being accountable and rewarded for my progress. I know its quite sad, but I think I need that focus. TB is also going back. I think if you could steal Lap Bands she would sneak in one night and nick it from me! HA HA. So we are both going to go. Me for positivity and reward and her for motivation and accountability.

We are team "Gonna be a skinny bastard" again!

Wednesday, 23 April 2008

What is wrong with them?



I cannot believe the places our cats decide to sleep.
Dave has taken his morning snooze on Ds's Lap top. Makes for a great excuse for him not to have to do his spellings huh!
We have a range of comfy beds, sofa's, cat baskets and snug warm toasty places, but no... it has to be across the keyboard of the laptop.
Random.

Monday, 21 April 2008

*GROAN* I have eaten too much

:o(

Man, I know my stomach has shrunk, but Geez!

Today has been peculiar. I have had a Kiwi fruit, 2 kitkats and a curry. I love curry, and I had half a plate and waited. I then could eat the rest. Things were going easy, and I was watching a film... I had seconds and now I feel like a balloon!

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

I am stuffed. I haven't felt this way for a LONG while. But, its not pleasant you know? I have a pain in my tummy where there is just too much food there. Its really uncomfortable. Curry is easy for me to eat because its so wet.

Anyway, I am off to bed. This has been a bad day in a good week, so I am not gonna beat myself black and blue.

Thursday, 17 April 2008

Freaky Thursday

I have had the most weird day today.

I was not hungry breakfast time... so I just had pills and a coffee.

Lunch kind of didn't happen as some friends turned up for me to do their nails, so I had a chocolate yogurt desert thingy.

then I decided that I must eat before I went to work, so I defrosted and cooked up some chicken and lentil stew that I had saved in the freezer. I had 1 bit of carrot and 1 spoonful of lentils and onion or something and knew I could not eat any more. So off I went to work. Before I got to the house I had to get out the car and spew up in the street. How nice is that! I couldn't believe it. I had no time to get away from the world, so I just had to chuck it up right there at the back of my car. Grim.

So I do a lesson and then go next door for my second pupil (how cool is that!) and they gave me a cup of tea and one of those little apple pies. I drank some tea, and had a bite - 1 bite - of the pie and knew I better wait. However, it got to the end of the lesson and I had to leave the pie and the half cup of tea on the tray as I was not going to be able to eat that at all. So I started on my way home. This time I managed to get out into the open countryside, and pull off onto a little drove before I chucked up. Well odd.

I got home and the sausage casserole that I had bunged in the oven was cook. DS came dashing in from playing out and asked if he had another half hour to play, so I said he might as well seeing as I had to do the spuds yet. When all was done, DS was in we sat down to eat dinner and I managed 1/3rd of a sausage and half a small boiled potato.

We went to a meeting in the evening and when I got back I still was not hungry, but I kind of felt empty you know? So I went to bed with a large glass of sugar free squash and another chocolate dessert.

Calories today would have been 750 if I had eaten everything on my plate... so I have no idea what they actually were, but obviously a heck of a lot less!

Hoping for an easier Friday!

I havent heard from my my Brugge Bunk Mate for a while... I hope everything is cool with you hun bun! Let me know how you are doing. xx

Wednesday, 16 April 2008

New weightloss photo

Well, I have been umm-ing and ahh-ing about whether its time to do another photo session for you groupies...

I decided that 6 pounds lighter than my last photo on my "weight loss expedition" back on June 6th was enough to warrant a photo.

Considering I GENUINELY thought (until about 10 minutes ago) that I looked better in my old photos that now, I must admit to being a little bit emotional when I pasted the photo on this blog. The change between June 2007 and today is staggering. I am BOWLED OVER by my hips! I like, don't have any bulging hips! My pants are sort of rounded in my June pic, but they are straight across my body today. My gut HAS shrunk so much. My bust is obviously smaller too, where I thought that it was exactly the same.

I am so pleased that I took this photo. It has really given me a serious confidence boost. I think somewhere deep down I have always thought that it still wont work, and that maybe my scales are wrong (although they cost a small fortune!), or that I am still not at my slimmest...

But I AM! I am the slimmest I have been for 10 years. That is truly amazing. I LOVE MY BAND

Check out my new picture http://weightloss-expedition.blogspot.com/2007/04/photo-gallery-february-2007-present.html

Yeah, OK I am still a fatty, but watch this space my Friend's!! HO HO HO!

Also, I have realised that I am bang on target...

If you take my weight losses from prior to the band blow out..

1 month - 15 lbs down
2 months - 20 lbs down
3 months - 23 lbs down
4 months - 22 lbs down

Then it busted...

But I am 5 months after renewal... So it like I now have my REAL 5 month pic and weight loss.
I am still on target. When you put them all together, I kind of haven't lost any window of opportunity or anything... I think maybe it wont work as well this time cos my body is used to it a bit... but that's not true. It has not made a difference at all. If my band had not broken I would be thin now. But ultimately I am 5 months out and at the same result. All I have to do is forget about that 8 month weirdness and I am rocketing along with my band.

Just shows me well and truly that this thing works like a wizard!

So if I put it all together and forget the 8 month nightmare...

1 month - 15 lbs lighter
2 months - 20lbs lighter
3 months - 23 lbs lighter
4 months - 22 lbs lighter
5 months - 28.5lbs lighter

Now that's what I call results. I feel like I am back in the zone physically, mentally and spiritually. This, although probably trivial for you guys (if you can even understand what the hell I am talking about) is really important to me. My mind can now kind of 'get over' having the break, and look forward to a slimmer future because its so obvious that I will have a slimmer future.

I am going to now continue on my journey and post monthly photos. The photo I posted today can wholeheartedly in my mind be my 5 month photo. Because, basically, it is.

Watch for the next one when I get back from my holiday in Malta at the end of June.

Couldn't blog yesterday...

Something was wrong with blogger.. it would not let me in at all, so I gave up.

So yesterday was a good day again. Food wise and work wise. I was absolutely rushed off my feet but that's the way I seem to like it.

I had a small packet of yogurt coated raisins for a mid morning snack, a banana at mid afternoon and then some chilli with rice when I got home from work at about 10:30. No more than 850 calories for the day tops.

Today I have had a packet of sesame snaps for brekkie and some ravioli with pasta sauce, cheese and mayo for lunch. Its amazing the little I eat. I always want to put amounts, because when I write it, it sounds like loads, but its like a 1/3 portion of a normal adult. Take the pasta today for example. DH had 2/3rd and I had 1/3rd of the packet. Pre banding i would have used 2 packets to feed the three of us. So you can see how much it has reduced. Infact I think the band pays for itself after a while because I have really noticed that we have been shopping less too.

So I have my longest day of work today. Its my top earner, obviously, but I dread it. its because I have 4 pupils all in one house and 1 of them I don't like. However, I cant drop all 4 of them just because of 1 person. They would be mad, so I just need to keep hold of my pride and grit my teeth. I like the big fat cheque at the end of the day, so I don't have much choice!

At the moment, we are quite flush. DH got his redundancy cheque and I paid it in on Monday. Then he just got paid for his last 2 weeks work with them + his holiday pay and days he had accrued. I was well chuffed with that. Means at last we can get some money in the savings. I feel much better when we have a bit of cash in the bank.

So I am off to work now. See ya!

Monday, 14 April 2008

AMAZING RESULTS

Today I weigh

15 stone 13 and a half pounds.

I got on 5 times.

15 stone 13 and a half pounds. Oh my.

I have reached my next two goals.

I have lost 2 stone and half a pound since having my band fitted (28.5lbs)

I have lost 3 stone (42lbs) since starting my weightloss expedition back in 2005.

I am also now in

THE 15 STONE ZONE

Whoop Whoop, Whoop Dee Doop!

Sunday, 13 April 2008

Come and look at my pretty things...

*Rubs cold hands together in the half light of a candle*


I feel so Jewish its unreal.


DH has started his new job with avengance. We are now officially in 'business'. He has turned over some serious cash today, and I can hardly believe it!


But... before you think that finally our little family might be getting a little break at last...


THE BLOODY BOILER BROKE TODAY


Yes, thats right, so not only do we have lots of pretty things, but we are definately cold too... I am going to change DH's name to Uria Heap, and mine to Esther and DS can be... um... Mordecai or something!


I seriously don't know how we get it timed so well.


Here is a cute photo of Mary. Pregnancy is starting to take its toll on her and she is getting really really really fat! She is sleeping all the time practically and if not sleeping, she is eating!


Saturday, 12 April 2008

today today...

Undergoing MyBlogLog Verification

What No Chemo?

Can you believe it ?

My dad has the all clear. The Cancer Nurse said that the tumour was really small, they have had a good look at it and the lymph glands and he has absolutely no need for Radiotherapy or Chemotherapy. It was totally isolated and they caught very very early.

I am ecstatic.

Also I am well pleased with myself.

I weighed in at 16 stone 1 pound, meaning another pound has bitten the dust. I know I usually weigh in on Mondays, but I just couldn't wait. I needed to know NOW.

So 225 pound is a total record. I am looking forward to hitting the 16 stone ZERO mark as that will be a real milestone, as will being in the 15 somethings!

I have decided that buying ice cream is not a good idea. I am having trouble eating and find its easier to get a quick sugar rush by having an ice cream. I am not going to buy any more I promise.

That said, since my fill I have noticed a little more restriction... its not a huge change, but it is surprisingly effective. I feel like I have puked a LOT today. I puked first on a kiwi fruit. I didn't realise but I swallowed a bit of skin with the fruit on the seemingly first bite, and sadly the whole lot came back at me. Then later on when I had my dinner, the girls brought out a bread and butter pudding that they had made. It was absolutely delicious, but I simply had to have the extra bite... and it was sink time again. so it has only been twice, but food is starting to be annoying rather than pleasurable. I must admit I don't get as much pleasure out of my food when I have to chew it to death. Its really strange. It kind of makes me feel horrible swallowing a load of mega munched cud. Also I think my pleasure was in the feeling of the swallowing which I think I have mentioned before. Now I am scared of swallowing too quickly, so its kind of put a dampener on things. GOOD!

So hopefully I will see the scales start to trip downwards again nicely. Only 6 weeks until Malta so I want to be getting my finger out really!

Anyway, beddie-byes now. Night Night

Wednesday, 9 April 2008

Oh boy... not even a quarter



Before and after today's lunch. Now, it looks to me that there is more in the second plate, but I can assure you I honestly did eat at least a few bites of pasta! :o) 1 meatball and some pasta. Wow.
To give you an idea of the size of this portion... it was 50g of dry pasta and 1/4 can on meatballs in tomato sauce. So to only be able to eat 16th of a can of ANYTHING is pretty weird.
I stopped eating a little while ago, and it still feels like a lump in my chest. I have the hiccups now too, which is a good sign that I am either going to puke, or its going to go down...
Last night I tried to eat a salad. I made salad with prawns in marie rose sauce. I couldn't eat much of it at all. I have also found that beetroot is not that easy to chew to a pulp and I think this was the reason I spewed it up. Its a strange kind of puke. Different even to before my last fill...
Its sort of like the excess food just sits in my pouch and when I touch the back of my throat it just pops out... not even like a puke at all. So obviously things are getting tight in there.
anyway, shall update later, but this is all I have had so far today. Couldn't face breakfast. Uh oh... excess saliva being produced... better run!

Tuesday, 8 April 2008

Back to the grind

Work today. 3:45 - 9:00
I have a new student today, which is great. They live in my village so its even better. I must remember to get a load of calendars and welcome letters printed out to give to them.

So already I am getting ready for my next holiday - which will be from Sunday 25th May until Monday the 2nd June, then on the 5th June we go to Malta.

So I have just 42 days of work until I am free again for a couple of weeks. That makes it easier to cope with! The weird thing is that it is the thought of going to work, lying in bed in the morning, that I hate. When I am actually at work, I really like it! Funny huh?

Anyway, seeing as I bought a new car on Friday, I have to get dedicated to the family money fund!

Weight wise, this morning I am 16 stone 2 pounds... still!

BUT

A miracle happened today. I have eBay'ed a load of clothes, meaning that shortly I will have to buy some more (what a shame!). However, I was going through my drawers to see what I could put on today that was semi decent, and I came across 2 pairs of 3/4 length trousers that I bought last May before I went to Sri Lanka. Now, they still have their labels on them and have sat in the drawer because, as you all know the band buggered up right at that point. So I have never worn them. They never even came to Sri Lanka with me because they were a little on the tight side and I kept them because I thought that give it a couple of weeks and I would be in them. Sadly that was not the case, but today...

I AM WEARING THEM!

Yes, I am wearing a pair of grey 3/4 length trousers from Tesco by Florence and Fred size 20.

YIPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

They are comfortable, not digging in, look nice, hang well and basically just... FIT

So this is a small miracle because when I went to Sri Lanka last year, I weighed 16 stone 3 pounds, and now I weight 16 stone 2 pounds, but I am obviously smaller somewhere than I was then! How cool is that. I am definitely at my smallest now.

Now, onto the next thing that is bugging the heck out of me. I am off to the acupuncturist in about ... ooh 30 minutes, to have her take a look at me. My skin is DREADFUL. Its worse that teenage skin. It positively hurts. I also have a nagging low back ache which I have had for years, but is getting increasingly worse, and to top it off the area of my tongue that relates to my liver is pitted deep with holes like I have bitten it through. Now, I know its sort of *mumbo jumbo* but I really believe in acupuncture as its helped me so much before, and she couples it with the whole tongue diagnosis as well which is great.

I know that the area of tongue which is dodgy is supposed to be linked to the liver. My skin is terrible, and when the liver is not working properly the skin can suffer. Also low back ache in my kidney areas is also a sign that something is not great.

So I am off to get sorted. My spots totally cleared up last time I saw her. I went for slimming help remember? It kind of helped, but I did notice it helping in the spot department big time. so hopefully this time will be the same.

As far as my fill goes... I am not noticing the same amount of restriction like I had after my last fill, but the hunger seems to have disappeared. I can go back within the next 2 weeks and get a little top up for nothing, and I don't want to fin 3 weeks down the road that I really need another fill... but at the same time, I don't want to be puking all over the place. The weird thing is that I haven't puked at all since my fill. I was having a lot of chokes before, so not sure what has happened there.

I will keep monitoring it for a few days and see what happens. I guess the scales and my hunger will decide it for me.

Sunday, 6 April 2008

Back home

I'm back at home, and my Dad is back at his home. He came out of hospital on Friday afternoon. He's looking good, if a little down at heart. His poor tummy looks like one of those teddy bear pyjama cases with a zip down the middle that I used to have as a kid. Over 60 staples from breast to pubis. *Shudders*

But apart from the operation, everything is settling down. He just has to keep resting, which will be the major problem.

Onto brighter things... I had a fill today! By today I KNEW that I needed one categorically. I know I was umm-ing and ahh-ing whether to do it a couple of weeks back, but this week I have DEFINITELY been able to eat more... MUCH more. I still have problems and weird days when I have been unable to eat more than soup, but for the most part I can get down about half as much again as I used to. Not that I am trying to eat more, its just that I don't feel the need to stop, or an overwhelming sensation of fullness. I have also stayed the same weight for at least 3 weeks, and on top of that, I have found I am wanting sugary snacks like chocolate and wine because, and only because, I am hungry. I did NOT feel hungry between meals after my last fill and I simply didn't look for or want high cal snacks. So I went for it today, and like last time, it was the right decision. I saw Wendy from the weightloss surgery group again - she is AWESOME!!! Honestly what a breath of fresh air it is to have someone who actually REMEMBERS your face and your situation and isn't just cribbing up before you walk through the door... I mean, I hadn't seen her for weeks and she noticed I had my hair cut and coloured! My husband doesn't even notice that!!! HA HA.

So she gave me 0.5ml and I am at 6.5ml exactly in my band. It is so good to have the band aspirated to check for leaks or problems or similar each time. I can actually SEE the syringe and the amount of volume in the band as it comes out and its so satisfying to know that of the three times she has seen me, 3 times she located the port first time, and it was easy, no fuss and no bother, just what it should be - proper care and attention. I feel at home there too.

I weighed in today on their scales at midday after drinking untold water and coffee etc (but no food as was advised) and I weighed 16 stone 4 in my clothes. HOW COOL IS THAT! So according to their records I have lost exactly 1 stone since my last fill. That's pretty damn FABULOUS!

Today, and I must admit I can't do the liquids thing (and yes, I am SUPER careful!), I have had:
2 litres water
4 coffee's
8 french fries
1 bite of McDonalds chicken select strip
1 bag of chicken and lentil casserole from the freezer (1x1 inch lump of chicken, 1 potato, half a carrot and some lentils and onions in the sauce - nice a sloppy)
2 co-codamol

And do I notice a difference? HELL YEAH! Bring on the 15's