Monday, 30 April 2007

Oh Boy do I have Restriction!

OH MY!

I have some serious restriction now boys and girls.

Ok... the last few days since fill 2 taking me to 5mls in my band have been absolutely nothing to write home about on the stressful side of things have they.

Yesterday (Sunday) I had a slice of toast with baked beans. No probs. I was full afterwards, but I kind of put it down to being the end of the day and not being that hungry when I started eating it.

This morning was Fat Club as you all know, and I didn't have any breakfast or even a drink as I was running late to pick up travelling buddy who I take every week.

So I got home and ate some of the Japanese rice crackers my Mum and Dad brought up for me. Yum. Went down nice. I wasn't hungry after that and forgot about lunch. At 2:30 I thought maybe I should eat just a little something because I was off to work at 3:30 until 9:00pm. So I made some pasta with peas and a carbonara sauce. It was yummy. Went down no problems. I had a small cereal bowl sized amount.

So I got back from work and discovered that DH and DS had had fish and chips! Not fair I shriek! So he offered to go get me some too. I love fish cakes and sausage, so I thought yeah why not. I can't eat that much anyway.

So i ordered a fish cake and a sausage and a half portion of chips. I envisaged eating the fish cake and sausage and a few chips... but no more than a kids dinner.

I sat on the sofa once he got back and tucked in. I knew immediately that I had to chew and eat slow as because it was mainly dry (the last 2 main meals being pretty wet) I would have some differences maybe.

Well I managed half a fish cake and half a sausage and about 4 chips. I am deadly serious. then I got the water in the mouth.

I had the CHRONIC pain in the chest. I tried to raise my diaphragm and help it digest, but it was not happening like it did pre fill #2. I sat for a little while longer and then i got up and said to DH "I am gonna puke" and my voice was sort of all weird like full of sick!!

I got to the sink and I tied my hair back as I seriously thought I was going to throw it back up. I was in BAD pain and the water stuff, yuk. It kept going through my mind.. "Man, i only ate - like - NOTHING!" and I had a load of little burps where you could feel food at the back of the throat. It kind of bubbled at the back of the throat. You couldn't cough it up, but it was there... I kept swallowing and DH was patting my back like burping a baby. It was horrid. Took about 10 minutes until I was ok enough to go sit back down... Even now I have residual pain and its an hour later!

I am now Full - Xmas dinner full.

So peeps. I think I am going to lose some nice fat this week.... This was a seriously unexpected incident. As those of you who read my blog regularly know, I have had fish cake and chips a couple of times before. I have been able to eat 2 fish cakes and chips only 2 weeks ago. So this is a major development. I look forward to seeing how I go with other foods.

Today's food has been such a small amount its scary. I still think I eat like a horse, and I feel like I eat like a horse because I am full all the time, but when I actually look at the amount... its pitiful. YAAA freaking HOOOO!!!

* Doing a dance*

10 Weeks + 5 Days - FAB RESULTS

I am thrilled this morning.

I have lost 3 and a half pounds this week!! I know a lot of it will be to do with the fact I was on fluids for 3 days, but even so!
I am ecstatic.

I weigh 16 Stone 4 and a half pounds now (228 and a half lbs).

This is just SUCH a great feeling to be so close to the 15 stone zone.

I could feasibly be 15 something by the time I go on holiday! YEEEAHHHH! Oh YYEEEAAAHH

I was trying to think about the last time I was 15 stone something. It was when DS was born in 1999. I was 17 stone 11 when I booked in with my midwife when I was 11 weeks pregnant and I was still 17 Stone 11 the morning I had him.

I weighed after having him that evening and I was 15 stone 2. So I lost 2 stone 8 pounds (36lbs) just having him!! That was great, but at my post natal check when he was 6 weeks old I was back up well into the 16 stone range again.

So I haven't legitimately been in the 15 stone range even then really. The last time I was weighed before that was at slimmingworld which I joined one week about a year before I got married. I can't remember if this was before I broke my knee or after...
I broke my knee cap on my 20th Birthday whilst decorating and I put on a great deal of weight in that time. I remember trying on my wedding dress in October 1996, wearing Levi 501s and crutches and a cast and the dress being MASSIVE. It was going to be taken in about 6 sizes.
By the time I actually got married in August 1997 I had to diet to get into the blasted thing. I think it must have been about April or May 1997 when I joined slimmingworld in a last ditch attempt to get the weight under control for the wedding. I was still on crutches then you see!

So if that was the case, the last time I have truly been in the 15 stone zone (and on the way up) was back in 1997. I know I was shocked. I did the diet for a week and got weighed and only lost half a pound so I just jacked it in. I was about 16 stone something when I got married.

I am going to try on my wedding dress again and see what happens. That way I will know if I am smaller or larger than my wedding day! Good idea huh!

I will update this page later with the results.


Well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Here are the results. I am Over the proverbial moon!!

I must have been the exact same weight when I got married.

I tried this on 2 years ago and there was about 6 inches gap down the back where the zip should have done up. This time, it went on like the day I wore it.

My DS is holding our original wedding photo up next to it.

10 Years on and I can get into my dress! What an anniversary surprise!

Sunday, 29 April 2007

10 Weeks + 4 days post banding

Well, I have just had my first meal after finishing liquids. I am rather EXACT when it comes to timing. He said I couldn't have any solids for 3 days, so exactly 3 days - to the hour - I had some food!

Today's food has been
a slimfast shake
a slimfast smoothie (nice, more sour than the sickly normal shakes)
Activia Kiwi x2
1 slice of toast and baked beans with some grated cheese.

I am full.

After one slice that's good. I didn't puke or have any other dodgy side effects.. no pain and water so far (you know, the pain in the chest and the saliva production pre vomiting that usually amounts to nothing).

So I am a happy girl.

I have to again take it easy. Chew VERY slowly, chew VERY well and try not to stress too much.

We had my Mum and Dad up today. They thought that the decorating looked very good. They also said how well I was looking, which was nice too. They are off to the Dom Rep next week, and then when they get back we go off to Sri Lanka, so it will b at least 6 or 7 weeks until we see them again. Hopefully they will notice some more difference in my weight loss by then.

I have noticed that I have 'bingo wings'.

I am pretty sure that I did not have them 10 weeks ago. Even 4 weeks ago I don't think I had them, so it looks like the fat is going from my arms... But its leaving horrible floppy arms. I am not very happy about this. I have so many stretch marks on my inner arms, right down to the crook of my elbow, that I know its not going to look pretty.

My Mum said it will probably tone up, and so have the other people I have shown it too, but I really don't think that's the case. Its too far gone. Its so stretch marked that they criss cross each other. I wasn't blessed with elastic skin, and even when I was slim as a teenager I had big time stretch marks on my bust, back of knees and hips. I am just one of those people. I am having horror nightmares about having a corrugated stomach, bum, legs and arms. this is just the most horrible thing that could happen. I also know that I could not go through with Plastic surgery. I just couldn't. I am already practically sick when I think of having it done. My Mum had a tummy tuck and she nearly died. ts not that that worries me. I know the risks, obviously , otherwise I would not have had any kind of operation in the first place. The operation is not the issue, its the sheer pain. I simply cannot go through any more pain.

I have never had an elective operation before my banding, and for me this is a whole different thing to a surgery that you need to have for medical reasons. I did need this surgery, but more for me than anything else. Unlike my other operations (of which I have had about 5 or 6 general anaesthetics) which were wholly medical and endangering my life had I not had them done.

I can justify that kind of operation in my head, but I dd find the pressure difficult seeing as I was putting myself into this position when having the band. I kind of felt like I deserved everything I got seeing as I had it done. Thankfully nothing went wrong, just the pain I was expecting... but it was weird knowing I had chosen to have that pain, rather than being told I had to have it by a doctor.

I don't know if I am making sense here or not. Its very hard to describe my mindset.

But, I know that I could not have any more elective surgery. I will just live with the body I get at the end of this banding experience. At any rate it will surely be a whole lot nicer than the fat suit I have been wearing for the past 10 years. If I can live with looking the way I did at 19 stone, then I can live with a little bit of skin. And what were sleeves made for anyway! :o)

Anyway, I feel really positive about this fill. I seem to have more restriction, certainly not too much which is good.

I will be posting another photo in about 10 days, my 3 month photo. So keep 'em peeled.

Weigh in tomorrow at slimmingworld and the chemist. I still have 4 more paid for sessions, so I might as well use them.

Nighty night

Oh, I just had a night time feast of a slice of cheese on toast with bbq sauce. MMM YUMMY

Saturday, 28 April 2007

10 weeks + 3 days

I hate being on fluids.

Today so far I have had a
Breakfast:
coffee and a slim fast
Lunch:
coffee followed by 3 activia yogurts.

Joyous.

I am feeling a little weak.

Ho Hum. I have still got 4 lessons to do today. I have done 3 already. I think I have another pupil who is going to give me grief. Today I went to the new peoples house and the Nanny said "Oh I forgot to ring you, its just J today as D is at scout camp."

Oh Ok. Yeah no problem. Did you not know that LAST WEEK???

So I am £12 short. However, I wont be, because I will be charging them for it.

Why do people treat me like this? Do I have 'MUG' written across my forehead?

Well I will be giving them a bill through their door to remind them that next week I will want paying £24 not just £12. The Nanny wasn't left with any money, so I also didn't get the £12 I was actually owed. Good eh?

Imagine turning up for your job. Your boss comes up to you and says, "Oh your desks being picked up in a while, so just to a bit of work and then go home. Oh and I forgot to get your wages for today, so you will just have to wait until next week. OK?"

I have a mortgage, a car to run, bills to pay. I bank on having that money. I need to nip this person in the bud. If I let them get away with just cancelling willy nilly they will do it for the whole of our working relationship, so to make sure that they 'remember' to call me I will be charging them the full price. Only fair I reckon.

If it didn't happen so much, I wouldn't bother, but I had 4 people do it to me this week already, and one of them actually said "Oh darling daughter is doing her exams now, so she wants to pick up again in September ok?"

"No! Its not flippin' OK!" I wish I had the guts to say that.

That means I have to keep a £12 slot open all through the rest of the year. Stuff that. I have people phoning up all the time asking for lessons, so if someone wants that slot, well they can have it. I mean, no warning, just dumped like that. I even have it on my forms that I require 4 weeks notice... Doesn't mean a thing.

I am too soft.

Anyway, I seem to be getting some spunk about me recently don't I! Maybe this is the new Me emerging. I don't think I am willing to take this crud any more to be honest. I need to be a bit more businesslike.

Anyway, I feel so bloated after eating those 3 yogurts that I am actually going to have to have a lie down!

I'll update later no doubt.

Update:
Well its dinner time. Work was rubbish. I was in a foul mood, and just could not get myself together enough really. One of my pupils in this afternoon is always a bit of a challenge, and I really couldn't be bothered. I have to coax piano out of him. Pull it with pliers. But today I said, "OK, this one has both thumbs on middle C..."
"A...? A...? Thumbs on middle C.... A?"

Sigh.

Resigned pause and I just sat there with his notebook on my lap. He looked at me all funny like..."Go on make me!"

So I just didn't make him. I sat there and he sat there. Then we sat there some more. This went on for about 10 minutes. Then I said "OK, I can't be bothered to teach you , go get your brother now..."

And all of a flash, he was like "NO... I want to show you what I have done!!" And then FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER he played his pieces of his own accord.

I remained calm and disinterested to be honest; firstly because I was. Secondly because I thought maybe the reverse psychology was working.... Maybe he doesn't want YAY Piano!! Whooop WHOOP! Clever Boy! WELLDONE! Maybe he needs a bit more of a challenge...
It certainly worked today. I expect that next week he will be better behaved.

I think maybe the lack of food is addling my brain. I feel a little bit fed up to be fair. I am on my own tonight as DH is doing a Karaoke in his Mums pub again. Yes, he really is!! After the whole fiasco of last time, he still yells "How High" when they say jump.

I flat out refused to go. Then it looked like I had no other option but to go, albeit grudgingly, and then a miracle happened!! :o) I had to work.

So tonight I am babysitting. I don't mind. I can have a nice chill out. I just hope it doesn't all kick off like last time. He has taken his mate Steve with him tonight so hopefully they will be on their best behaviour. DH has already rung me and asked me if the leads from the Karaoke are behind the filing cabinet (No) and then rung back to ask me to check again. (Um... still No! ) So it looks like ti will be a bit of a disaster anyway. I think we left them there to be honest, but it was such a blur and we left under such a storm cloud I can't really remember.

Right, I am off to eat my final slimfast of the day and I am definitely having a glass of wine or 4 later. Hey... its fluids!!

Thursday, 26 April 2007

10 Weeks + 1 day post band - Fill no. 2!

Well fill number 2 went well.

The actual meeting was nice. He is a really nice chap and wasn't annoyed for any reason like last time. He asked me how things had been going, how was the eating, of which I have told you all before (oooh there was a big long burp right there!). Then he asked how the weight was going and I said that I have been losing a pound here, half a pound there and that this week I put on a little.

He said this was perfectly normal. The first fill is the coarsest fill and the next ones are the finer ones. He then said that there is a layer of fat around the stomach and as you lose fat, you lose it from there too, and the band then gets a little looser... hence the weight lose fades or you stagnate or even put on weight. He said that at the moment I should really not worry at all about the scales. he said its one of the hardest things for us to do - forget to think about weight. He said, all you need to do is eat normally and be careful with how you eat. Take my time and don't drink after meals etc. No problem there.
Then he weighed me. Now this is where the WEIRD bit starts...
Make of this what you will:
According to HIS scales
Last fill - 15th March 2007 - weight 17 stone 4 pounds (242lbs)
2nd fill - 26th April 2007 - weight 15 stone 6 pounds (216lbs)
HEH?????!!!!!!!!!!!!????????? I mean WHAT?
A loss of 26 pounds.
NO WAY JOSE
According to the scales at slimming world (and the chemists because I now know that they are exactly the same don't I)
Monday 12th March 2007 - weight 16 stone 13 pounds (237lbs)
Monday 23rd April 2007 - weight 16 stone 8 pounds (232lbs)
So a loss of 5 pounds.
Can you guess why I am freaked out a little????????????!!!!
Not much difference between 26 pounds and 5 is there!!!!!
So what the heck do I make of that. I nearly dropped dead from shock as you can probably imagine. I was flabbergasted! I said "You cannot be serious" but then I saw it with my own eyes. He even showed me the label where they had literally been calibrated last week!
So who do I go with. I simply cannot trust his scales. I mean I have gone to slimming world for 2 years and they MUST be right. I mean people are paying for them to be correct! I mean, you could totally sue if they weren't. the chemist has the same kind of problem. You have to pay, so they have to be accurate too, and the fact that they are the same as slimming worlds makes me think that the guy who checked Dr. C's scales might have been having a laugh. So I just have to go with the chemist and SW.
Anyway, back to the subject...

Normally (according to Dr. C) they put in about half a ml. to 3/4 ml. But I was given 1 whole ml. this was apparently because he didn't feel much restriction at half a ml. So I now have a total of 5mls in my 10 ml band. I am half full!

I drank the water after being filled up, and it went down fine.

I had a drink from McDonald's on the drive home and I have had a coffee and a slimfast since then. I even actually had a spoonful of fruit salad in my mouth before I remembered that I am now back on fluids for 4 days. No food till Monday teatime. BOOOOOoooo HOOOOoooo

I have noticed a difference already. About 2 weeks ago I was burping all the time after eating or drinking... little mini burps over and over again and then then I was only thinking today that all that had stopped recently.

Well I am burping again! good huh! So there must be a bit of restriction there now.

I am really amazed at the small quantity of fill. Its like a drop of water. 5 mls is literally a spoon of calpol. How can a spoon of calpol make me lose weight. Fascinating isn't it. Such small amounts make such a difference.

Anyway, I am gonna get off bum and do something like.... Oh I dunno.

Wednesday, 25 April 2007

10 weeks After my LAP BAND SURGERY exactly

10 weeks.

10 weeks of not doing slimming world

10 weeks of getting slimmer

10 weeks of not (well... nearly) stressing about food

10 weeks of worrying if I can really afford it!!

Ooops Too Late!

But most importantly, 10 things I like about the new me:

1.) I am happy
2.) I wear my hair down and straighten it every time I wash it
3.) I don't wear glasses any more
4.) I am a dress size smaller
5.) I am 20 pounds lighter
6.) I am more confident in my career and every other aspect of my life at the moment
7.) I feel cleaner inside my body and soul
8.) I feel like people notice me for reasons other than my fatness
9.) I dont feel like a greedy pig when I eat my dinner
10.) I feel like ME for the first time in my life

I feel good.

I am looking forward to my fill with Dr. Clayson tomorrow. I wonder how much juice hes going to plug me with. Hopefully a LOT! Tee Hee. Well at £75 a throw, its the most expensive water in the world I think! I want a good few millilitres for my money.

My last fill cost me £18.75 per ml. That's got to be more expensive than precious perfumes!

I doubt I will get 4 mls this time. No way. But maybe 2... hope so.

I also hope it lasts longer that 6 weeks. I don't really want to be trekking all the way to Tamworth every 6 weeks or so. On the other hand I do want to get thin!

The Rock - ME - The Hard Place

Went out this morning with Rebs for half an hour. Then we came back and had coffee and cake with her hubby and DS in a little place that's probably a bar in the evenings, but during the day has WOW sofas to lounge around on and was really nice and airy and calm and quiet but classy - if you get my drift. It wasn't grotty like some places I've been in that are clubs or bars in the evening, but it was much more classy than say Costa Coffee, Starbucks or Pret... etc. The prices were, however, much more reasonable than those "cost a lot" coffee bars. It was somewhere where I really had never noticed before, and probably would never have gone into had I not been with them. It was a really nice surprise. I will definitely be frequenting the place again soon!
It was particularly lovely because her husband had a massive brain hemorrhage a couple of years back and is still quite damaged by it, but he has got so much better, and he leaned out of the car window and said to me "Hey, I have heard that there is a secret society in town." "Now, don't tell anyone, but this secret society have their meetings in this place I know, and they serve you..." sly peek about to check for listeners..."coffee... shhh and sometimes.. cakes! shhh."
It was so nice to see him having a laugh and a joke and inviting us too. A lot of people don't want to go out during the day with me because I always have DS with me and I think they get worried about what people think. Obviously I don't have a tongue in my head to explain why he is not in the government state training programme being force fed boring crud like all the other drones. Yeah. But I really do think that these particular ones prefer to have their adult time, and the school to them is like the best baby sitting service about! Its free!! Yay! I don't think everyone's like this... just these 'special people' I know.

Anyway, that's my view, and I keep it to myself most of the time. But I believe that kids are better off with their parents. I mean, I would not be home educating my child if I didn't would I! It would be a bit stupid of me to extol the virtues of the school system when I don't believe in them.

That's why I think its really brave when people say to me "I would love to, but I know I just couldn't do it."

Well done. Seriously. That's a straight up honest answer right there.

Its the people who say "I think its terrible, you child will be damaged socially and not learn anything" or words to that effect that I dont believe. I think they protest too much. Obviously if that was the case it would be at least un popular let alone illegal. Those people I believe are simply trying to affirm that that they did the right thing. Ostriches.

"Kids are going to be OK in school."
"Kids do well in school."
"Kids are happy in school."

If they say it enough times it might turn out to be true.

YAAAA totally of topic. But I don't rant about home ed at all.. in fact I don't think that I have mentioned it before on this blog. So now you all know.

I don't really care what other people do to be honest. What they choose to do with their children is their business. I just wish they wouldn't care so much about what I do. They didn't before when I ran with the river. Now everyone and his flaming dog has an opinion. I always find it odd.

The next time I meet someone and they don't have a child with them I will say...
"Wheres your child?"
and when they say "At school"
I will reply "Oh really? Wow. How normal. so how did you find their teacher?"
and when they reply "What? He just goes to the local school..."
I shall say "Oh right. That's a shame. How did you match their classmates?"
and when they say "What?"
I will ask them if they checked out the other children who were going to be mixing with their angels. When they have to say "No I just signed on the dotted of X schools register"
I will say "How spontaneous of you. So daring. Don't you think your child will suffer socially? I mean what about when it goes to senior school and mixes with all those druggies and smokers and gets beat up at break?"
"Oh well I don't worry about that kind of this because little johnny is a really good boy"
"But he doesn't have the chance to mix with any other kind of people other than the same age group..."
"err umm er umm"

Basically I get the reverse of this.... Practically every day.

I am sick of it.

I tell you what. I am GLAD my child will be socially challenged if that's what he has to put up with at school. Trouble is he's started to talk to people of all ages now he doesn't sit with a group of drones of the same age all day long. Is that a cause for concern?

I teach 20 kids music. They can't look you in the eye. they can't hold a conversation. They look at their boots. Their faces are dull and tired. And that is just a sample from our local area. maybe every other kid in the whole world is not like this... but I beg to differ.

People actually comment on how DS is with adults. How his manners are impeccable and how different he is from other children. Then in the other breath they are dismissing home education as rash and a disaster waiting to happen. Makes sense doesn't it.

grrrr. Can you tell I got on my high horse? Got off now. Its in the stable. I really don't want to open up a debate about home-ed v. schools. Home ed will win hands down in my book any day of the week.

Doesn't matter what anyone says. It shouldn't matter what I say either if you are convinced school is right for you kids. Get my drift?

Please no one take offence. I just never EVER get to view my side of things. I love blogging. No one can shout you down and you get to say everything all at once without people shutting off their minds.

Anyway, I am worn out typing that lot. I promise I will get back to fat fighting tomorrow. Especially as I will yet again be on LIQUIDS! AHHHRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!! NOOOOO!

Tuesday, 24 April 2007

9 Weeks + 6 Days post Lab Band

10 weeks ago I was right now eating my way through the most delicious meal I have ever had in my life, and probably the most expensive as well! I can remember it in exquisitely fine detail. I remember the beautiful lights of the square in Brugge and feeling like I was the luckiest person on earth right then. I was doing what I love best - eating- and I had my best mate in the whole world with me to support me on one of the biggest adventures of my life. How many people have a friend that you can ask to just drop everything for a week and come with you to help you while you have an operation. I can remember her face when I told her. It was definitely wondering what I was going to ask that's for sure! But she then did her "Ohhhhh!" that she does. It was like she was getting it done too. She was so excited.

I will never forget that. What a wonderful friend. I mean, this was no ordinary trip, she was agreeing to come with me, come to the hospital, be on her own all day, and then not have very much company for a few days because of me having the op etc. So it wasn't a pleasure trip for her at all. The more I think about it, the more I want to thank her, because without her I would not have this lap band you know? I could not have gone through with it on my own. My Mum had had her bunions done literally the week before I went into surgery and couldn't walk. My husband had to look after our son, so I would have been totally alone. There is no way I could have been alone doing that. She helped me so much after surgery... helping me out of bed, helping me on with clothes, helping me eat and fetching stuff and even carrying our cases.

So, THANK YOU Mate. Honestly. You are one in a million.

Soppy crap over with... I am sitting at the moment eating a bar of chocolate. I am pondering why I am doing this. I can't make up my mind if its last minute eating before my fill on Thursday, or I just want it, or what. But its going down a treat. I am not really a chocolate girl... but give me a bar and I will eat it for you no trouble.

I am looking forward to my fill with glee. I am in a very happy zone right now. I just hope that nothing bursts my bubble.

There are lots of people reading this blog by the way. I want to know who you all are. You all pour over pages and pages of my blog, but never leave your comments, and I would love to hear from you all. Even just to say Hi! So please reply to my blog and leave your comments.

Today was odd. I had a morning of beautification: Spa pedicure and nail polish and then another infill on my nails. I can't believe I have been having these nails for nearly a year now. Wow, doesn't time fly. No one does toes like my friends at the nail bar. They look good enough to eat when I come out of there. Today they look like little cherries. If I wasn't so fat I would bend over and nibble them!! HA HA. They are so yummy and shiny. Why doesn't it look like that when you do them at home in front of the telly???????!!!!! Its just not fair. Oh well. I thought I would do them a couple of times so that my feet look nice enough to let out in Sri Lanka...

Only 29 days to go!!!!!!!!

So beautification regime is in full swing. Since I have been banded I have been taking an awful lot more care in myself. I now have regular facials, pedicures and I have even shaved my legs this week, which is an utter miracle!! I am going to have my legs waxed before the holiday. I have no idea if it works, but thought I might as well have a go. I had it once about 5 years ago and it was rubbish. They kind of ripped the hairs of at the leg rather than pulling the whole thing out at the root, so they were all stubbly after 2 days. I never bothered again. But someone told me this should not have happened, and I should have gone back and told them.... Ho hum. I think its a bit too late now don't you?

So sun bed, waxing, pedicures and manicures and facials... Wow, its like I am a lady of leisure. No one would think I hold down a full time job, educate my son and also scrub the decks! No wonder I need my friends at wiltshire farm foods! And NO! I don't work for them, I just happen to think that they are amazing amazing amazing. They deliver all the food for the week and put it in your freezer and are amazingly lovely people. TRY IT!! Its great to just be able to walk through the door and bung the dinner on, have a quick coffee and then "Ping!" its done. Tonight's delight was roast lamb with roast and mashed potatoes, cauliflower and green beans. YUM.

Anyway, I cant be bothered to type any more

Monday, 23 April 2007

9 Weeks + 5 days post Lap Band

I just knew it.

I put on weight this week.

This is my first weight gain since being banded, and funnily enough I am not destroyed like I thought I would be, because I know exactly why I put on weight - quantity.

I need that fill.

I put on 1 and a half pounds. So I am still in my 'Low Zone' (i.e. the zone where I am below all slimmingworld losses).

So, yeah. Feel totally chill about it. I am just hungry. I am suprised at how quickly the need for more food comes on you. Strangely today I have not been that hungry. I have had cheese on toast and a WFF meal. Thats it. But then again when you think about it, if I have put on a little weight, then the band will be a little restricted again... albeit by really tiny amounts.

But I am booked in to see Dr. Clayson on thursday. I did ring up his secretary today and see if he had any cancellations, or if she could squeeze me in. I think she needs a holiday, or prozac, or both maybe.

Rather than the usual "Oh, I am so sorry, but Dr. Clayson is fully booked until next century - Maybe call back then?" I got "Well, I am VERY sorry, and I don't mean to be obstructive or anything, Huff, Puff, but I cannot POSSIBLY fit you in at such short notice. Huff. Puff. I mean, he is a very busy man and he is TOTALLY booked. You cant just get an appointment like that you know. Stress Huff Puff Stress!"

"Ok then, (sarcastic patronisation of harassed staff) don't you worry. Have a nice day though!"

Mmmm.

Note to self: Always book appointments at least 2 weeks in advance otherwise gives poor illiterate girl who works in an unimportant and banal office an aneurysm. (yes illiterate - she wrote me a letter a couple of weeks back that would have been hilarious except for the fact that these people are in control of my ... like... LIFE!)

GET OFF YOUR "MISS IMPORTANT" PEDESTAL - NO ONE BELIEVES YOU!

Oh, and ps... My Husband thinks that I should have put 'shave armpits' onto my list of things that I will be doing in 9 weeks. He forgets, obviously, that this is MY blog and I put everything that I wish to on it. Shaving armpits is not going to be happening anytime soon. Sorry darling!! HA HA

Sunday, 22 April 2007

9 Weeks 4 days (- Day 67!)

Wow, just out of curiosity I worked out how many days it is since my band... I was counting in days at first... and now its a whopping 67 Days since I had my Lap Band Weight loss surgery.

That's quite a lot. I can remember wondering what it would be like to be me right now all those months ago.

so, for the benefit of posterity, I will write a few random thoughts about what its going to be like to be me in... say another 9 weeks. Yeah!

Right then. This is not an "I want to be... " list. This is a "I think I will be... " list. And yes, there is a difference.

So. In 9 weeks time (24th June 2007), I think I will be:
1.) Tanned
2.) Shaving my legs regularly
3.) Have hair an inch longer
4.) Be eating slightly smaller portions than I can today
5.) Had my third fill
6.) Dropped another 9 pounds taking my weight to 15 stone 11 and a half pounds (221.5 lbs)
7.) Dropped another clothes size

So there you go, my secret 7 "think" list.

I will check on the 24th June and see if I am right. This is after our 2 week holiday in Sri Lanka. Now this time last year I would have predicted quite the opposite of the above secret 7 "think"'s.
I always put on weight on holiday, I have had various weapons in my arsenal to fight the flab, but this year I have the nuclear bomb of all weight loss tools. Oh yeah. I can feel the skinny coming on me already!

Well, its Weigh bridge day again tomorrow. I still get worried. These scales do seem to run our lives, but I think I have been more positive inside this week. I am planning to keep working at my band positivity and confidence because it is a thing I greatly lack. I lack those things in most everyday things too, but I can't feel negative or insecure about my band. It hasn't let me down yet. I really love it.

I remember the week before I went to see Dr. Clayson last time to get my first fill, I felt exactly the same. I felt like I needed to get on that couch as soon as humanly possible. I couldn't stand it if I gained weight. However, I am not quite so anxious this time, and I am looking forward with dread at the thought of fluids again for 4 days. BOOOOOooooo HOOOOoooooo, but its worth it. Every penny.

Oh yeah. I just remembered that my cost calculated by pounds is not totally accurate because it doesn't take into account the cost of the fills. I only calculate it on the cost of the operation. However, if I was extremely anal then I would have no end of calculating to do, like less cooking costs and less food costs. Dear me. it would be a never ending accounting nightmare. So as I am not anal (honest) I am just going to do the easy thing and divide the cost of the operation by how much I have lost. Cool.

Saturday, 21 April 2007

9 Weeks + 3 days post lap band

Today I have been HUNGRY

I have looked into the cupboard about 5 times during the day, and considering that I have been at work most of the day, that's quite a lot!

I went to work at 8:45 on a coffee.
Got back at 11:00 and had a bowl of fruit and fibre then back to work.
Got home at 2:00 and had lunch - a meal from WFF then went to bed for a sleep
Went back to work at 4:15
Grabbed a mars bar at 5:30 and ate between lessons
Got home at 7:00pm and sank a pint of squash and ate my way through 8 crackers and humus
Had a glass of wine at 8:30 and then dinner - a meal from WFF - at 9:00.

I am full right now, but I seem to have eaten a lot through the day. I have probably been full, but not full enough to not be looking for food. I badly need a fill.
I will hate it if I put on weight this week. It will be horrid. I keep thinking that I will, but I know I am eating less than I would have had I not had the band. Oh us serial dieter are so hung up on the scales aren't we!

I look great, and everyone keeps telling me I look fabulous and younger and asking me what I am doing to lose weight etc etc - I should be happy with my body, rather than what the scales say, but I just cant give myself a break! :o(

Friday, 20 April 2007

9 Weeks + 2 days post op

*Yawns*

Boring

Back to work today

So tired

I have pain just below my port area again... Its *star* week again, and I seem to remember getting this pain last month too. Looks like I am going to suffer with pain in my port region during these times. Whoop dee doo. That's totally NOT FAIR! I never ever have PMS or PMT or whatever names they call it. It always catches me by surprise every month, never been bothered by it, don't want to kill my husband or lie in bed for a week and now suddenly I have had this operation and now get these pains!

Sods Law. Sort one thing out and get another thing go wrong. Grrrr

Its strange. Anyone else got this problem? Now I know that that's what is happening I can discuss it with Dr. Clayson next week at my fill - 6 days time YAY!!

I have 5 weeks until I go to Sri Lanka. I really hope that I am down a bit more by the holiday. I should have got rid of at least another 5 or 6 pounds by then. Hope so. I am glad I am getting my 2nd fill on Thursday, that gives me 4 weeks with fill number 2 before I go away.

I am looking forward to buying some new clothes and stuff. I am still mucking around in my baggy clothes, but I cant afford to buy clothes now and then again in 5 weeks. I am just going to go out the day before the holiday and kit myself out with a load of gear!! cant wait! It will be Tuesday 22nd May by my reckoning. I will take myself to the shops and splash that cash!

Tee Hee

*swigs coffee*

Wednesday, 18 April 2007

9 Weeks Post Lap Band

Well, who would have thought it. 9 weeks ago. I was definitely in pain this time 9 weeks ago!

Today... well I haven't had that awful pulling pain for quite sometime now... as long as I am careful. I get the odd twinge, but nothing major, and it doesn't last past the twinge like it used to.

I would say I was right as nine pence. why is that saying used? Surely that means you are NOT alright... British irony. Go figure.

So yeah, today was a bit odd. I was well bored all day long. I had a boiled egg sarnie at about midday. I had a packet of crisps at 2pm. Then we went bowling because we were so bored. I had to wait in for the www.wiltshirefarmfoods.com man to arrive, otherwise we would have gone out earlier.

So bowling was great. I got 3 strikes!!! I have never got a strike in my life, and I got three in 1 game - Amazing. Must be all this weight I am losing!! HA HA

I had a naughty 5 minutes when we got back and really wanted some sugar and stuff. So I had a bowl of pecans (about 10!) covered in maple syrup. This was divine. Naughty but nice.

Then came home and got the tea. I had another one of those quorn and sweet potato Thai curry jobs. It was as delicious as the others. Mmmm Mmmm. I then had an individual Strawberry Cheesecake which was scrummy too.

So today I have wanted sweet things. This got me wondering.... looked at the calendar... and yes! Like a bad penny the curse rolled in again to ravage me for the week. Goooody Goody.

So that was my day. Yawn.

Tuesday, 17 April 2007

8 Weeks + 6 days

I was shocked this morning. I prepared my breakfast - 2 boiled eggs and 2 slices of toast and a yogurt and a coffee. I was hungry - can you tell?

Anyway, the shock came when I could only eat 1 slice of toast. I don't think i have had toast 'dry' like that. I have had it with beans/spaghetti/scrambled egg on, but not just as toast. I boiled the eggs too much, and they were not soft either, so there was just dry food really. I was really surprised. Pre banding I could definitely eat about 4 slices of toast. Easy Peasy.

So even though I think I need a fill, my lovely Band is obviously doing its thing still. It really is a huge difference from my eating pre-band.

So I feel absolutely stuffed!! I don't think I have felt this full after breakfast, so maybe the things I am eating are a little too wet? Cereal and milk, porridge... always wondered about those foods.

Anyway, we shall see how long it lasts. Usually by 10:30 this last week I have been hungry again.

Update:

Well today has been very smooth. Worked with Audrey today which was nice because haven't worked with her before. Came home and we had a WWF meal - Roasted tomato and Brie tart with veg and sauteed potato. YUM. I was a bit concerned about the microwaved pastry, but it was perfect. I thought it would go all soggy and minging, but it was crispy and delicious. The only bad bit was the baby corn were a bit soggy, and I didn't like the look of them. I don't really like them much anyway, so I left them out. They kind of looked a little too limp to be enjoyable.

Then we went to the group after lunch then went with Ann to see Joan and Gerry and give them a tape and had a lovely chat for an hour. Then we came home and put our feet up. A great day all around. Its flown by to be honest. I feel like I have done so much today.

Dinner this evening was Lasagne and peas, sweetcorn and broccoli. Another WWF meal. I love them. They are totally delicious and taste like you are eating out, or have the benefit of a chef at home!!!

So I am about to get DS into the bath and then to have a chill out, glass of wine and a flick through the TV. Might even get an early night... There's an idea!! HA HA as if!

Its chilly in this house. Don't know why because the heating is on. Its been warm today, but the wind has been keen. I think having a tiled floor makes it cooler.

Anyway, that's today done with.

Tomorrow I have been banded 9 weeks! Wow. How is that possible?

Monday, 16 April 2007

Ann Diamond bodged band?

Here is a very interesting critique of Ann Diamonds supposedly botched WLS in Belgium.

I whole heartedly agree with the critic!
http://www.automanuk.co.uk/marika.uk.com/pages/Anne%20Diamond%20page.htm

8 Weeks + 5 days

Woo Hoo. I lost another pound this week.

I am so pleased. I really was not looking forward to today's weigh in because I felt I had had a really bad week.

Is it the same for all Bandits?

I feel like this:

I eat something, later something else, later something else and at the end of the day, because I haven't been following 'a diet' I feel like I am a failure and that because I feel full I must have totally blown the weight loss that week... And that is then perpetual all week.

However, when I look back at what I have actually eaten during the day I am ALWAYS shocked at the small quantity. I FEEL like I have eaten as much as I would have pre banding, because I FEEL the same fullness... But I really have cut down.

This is a head-messer! My feelings about how well I am doing are so off square. I have to remember that I must trust my band, and not my head, otherwise I am still in this crazy world of food obsession.

I LOVE MY BAND

I am so thrilled that this is working for me. I feel like a normal person, in a normal persons body who can eat normal human being things and not worry. Its like a MIRACLE has happened. I am totally not exaggerating either. It really is my own personal Miracle.

I just have to deal with the psycho part of me that keeps trying to do itself down and be negative.

I am going to try very hard to keep positive all week.

Next week I have decided I am not going to slimmingworld as it is now a waste of money. I do not need to spend £4 odd getting weighed. I can do it for 20p at the local chemist, so that's what I will do. Next Monday I will weigh in at the chemist. I weighed in today at the chemist before Slimmingworld and the scales are bang on the same, so I know I am getting a proper reading.

I didn't want to just go next week and suddenly lose 5 pounds because they weigh light, or put on 2 because they weigh heavy. They are exactly the same as I am used to.

I have lost 34 pounds (2 stone 6) exactly now since I joined slimmingworld 2 years ago.
21 and a half pounds (1 stone 7 and a half) of that has been since banding!!

So there we go.

I am thrilled.

Oh, and I also have a fill booked for 3:30pm Thursday 26th April with Dr Clayson. Exactly 6 weeks later to the day since my first fill, just like he said!!!

This will be the fill I have whilst I am away in Sri Lanka. I need a good one!! When I get back from Sri Lanka I can get another one. Goody!

Update:
Have not had much to eat today... strange. I am wracking my brains trying to think what I have had. Ummm....

Oh yeah, no brekkie because of Fat Club, but I had 2 slices of bread for lunch with olive oil and balsamic vinegar dip.

Dinner, as DH is away tonight, was Chinese take away. Yummmmmm
It was the first time I had had Chinese since banding. Properly that is. I think I had bit of a chicken ball a month or so ago when DS had them one night.

The bill was less than £15 for the first time EVER!!! Unbelievable!
We ordered quarter crispy duck pancakes, sweet and sour chicken balls and seaweed. That was it. DS and I shared all this grub, of which half the duck went to the cats and there are still some chicken balls in the fridge. I AM SPEECHLESS!!

I L O V E MY BAND

I would normally order ... seriously:
seaweed,
quarter (or even half) crispy duck,
Singapore fried noodles,
Sweet and sour chicken Hong Kong style,
Prawn crackers,
Mixed Hors'deurves

and it would all be eaten between the three of us... with mine being the larger share. An order from our Chinese take away has certainly has never been in the £teens.

If you are thinking of having a lap Band... GET IT DONE!!! I wish wish wish wish I had done this years ago!!!

I am not deprived in any way, I love my life and I could cry with glee and the normal-ness and lack of pressure of my eating.

This has changed my life already in just 8 short weeks.

Sunday, 15 April 2007

8 Weeks + 4 days

Errrrrr

Today has been random.

Went to the shopping centre this afternoon and got a few bits; 3 new plates, 3 new bowls and a lamp.

Wanted to get DS some new shoes, but seemingly no boys in this country wear smart shoes anymore. They just wear some kind of shoe that resembles either the box it came in, or trainers, or both, or some other odd fashion uncomfortable cross trainer style yoke!

I could not believe it. They had absolutely no classic style shoes. We needed some preppy style shoes.. Oxfords or Penny Loafers... you know? Shoes to wear for formal and casual occasions to look smart.

There were just piles of junk. Looked in John Lewis, Clarks and the other places. I will have to go back to Brantano. That shop actually has a choice of normal shoes for boys.

I always get annoyed when I go shopping. I get apathy from both boys. I was looking at things today that I never dreamed I would fit into, but now seem possible and I just got the 'haunted rape of wallet stare'. I just like to imagine. dream. Coo "Ohh that's lovely". DH gets ready for battle to save his fortune (which he doesn't have btw!) I would just like FOR ONCE for someone to go "yeah that's really nice, you would look amazing in that." I am NEVER going to actually buy the thing, but like I said, its nice to dream. Nice to share you likes and dislikes with the one you love. Give them hints about pressies to buy you even (IT WAS OUR 11th anniversary of meeting yesterday after all - not nada, zip, nowt) Huhhhh. Not even a "Go on honey, I love you so just treat yourself"

Then, just as I am looking about, in full knowledge of time/shopping ratio, i get
"We have 50 minutes."
"huh?" I ask.
"We have 50 minutes. Shops shut at 4."
"Right." says I "I know that."

Its like some covert operation... "We must get in and out before we are spotted by the *insert random association*"

I swear to God that he is adding up some complex formulae in his head like:
minutes in shops / time ogling items x money spent / money left for month x new mortgage or some crap!

Sometimes we need shoes. Sometimes we need a new lamp. Sometimes we need something to eat from. Sometimes you need to walk about a place and keep you eyes open so you can get a clue if you start looking like your granny!

It doesn't matter what we are shopping for. It could be for DS, or Me or Him. He hates shopping. DS used to love going to the shops. I would always get him a new book or something if he was a good boy. Now I am usually so stressed out by the pair of rat bags that I don't think they deserve anything. I had DH whining about time and DS whining about his stomach. All afternoon.

I am now getting genuinely concerned for DS. When he grows up I would like him to be an ASSET to his wife. Someone she can rely on to help her, be there for her and help carry the bags and not faint in fear when she gets the cards out. This is never going to happen if I continue taking DH with us when we shop. I have now made the decision that he is now not allowed to accompany us on our shopping missions. HE simply isn't a hunter gatherer. He would have been the one sat at home inventing the wheel whilst his wife lugged a stag home with 18 kids tied to her back.

Enough. This does ease the stress, but also gives me more too.

Eating today? Well what can I say. I have been a NAUGHTY girl. BAD bunny!!!

I have had:
a marmite sandwich
a slice of pizza
3 bags of crisps
1 glass of wine
a boiled sweet
6 finn crisp thins and half a tub of houmous (the chickpea stuff, not manure!! HA HA)
and I am about to embark on a WFF meal.

Actually looking at that its not that horrendous, but because I feel sick from lack of nutrients and annoyance of boys in this family, it feels like really bad news. Certainly 10 weeks ago I would have had a whole pizza rather than just a slice! So I guess we are making a difference!

Anyway, because of all of the above I could not be bothered to put myself out again and take DS and his mates to roller skating. I just couldn't be bothered. DH was going out to play badminton, so I decided that my last day off before work starts again tomorrow would be used chillin'. So that's what I did. I went to bed with the Avon book and ordered some bits, then had a kip. DS was deposited back home after skating and all was right with the world. Then I fell back to sleep and he fell asleep on the sofa, so when DH got back the whole house was snoring!

Like I said at the beginning, a very random day. I feel neither good nor bad, but just errrrr.

Weigh in tomorrow.... help.

Saturday, 14 April 2007

8 Weeks + 3 days

Today the new blind went up. Looks lush. Haven't decided if I am going to leave it down all day just adjusting the slats or whether to put it up and down. Think the first option.

This morning I was dead lazy. I lay in bed until 1:30pm. Oh it was bliss. Then when I got up we did the blind and then I had lunch. I had 6 Finn Crisp slims and humus.

We have been invited out again for dinner - another BBQ - at some friends in the village, so I will let you know how much I can gobble tonight. I am at the moment, being brutally honest, not hungry at all. But if you showed me a nice dish of something I could and would eat it. I feel more like I did before my band at the moment.... not quite the same, but definitely the "being able to eat when not honestly hungry" thing is very similar to the pre-banded me.

I am surprised by the speed at which you find you need a fill. I was only talking to someone on email from http://www.lapbandtalk.com/ about how it felt after a fill and they asked "did I think I needed another one yet", to which I replied no! That was like Tuesday or Wednesday! Speedy change. I really want to know why its such a snap change... does the pouch stretch or suddenly give or something... or what? I cant figure it. I am envious of Erika, because she was able to have weekly fills to get her at good restriction. :o)

I have to wait another week and 5 days until I can have one... not that I am counting or anything!! HA HA

Update:
DS is staying at our friends for the night, we are half cut and got a taxi home!! I have had 4 glasses of wine, and I am completely wasted. This is totally abnormal. Anyway, I ate 2 sausages, 1 piece of pork, 1 spoon salad, i sweetcorn on cob, 2 slices bread and 2 new potatoes. I think that is a lot. compared to what I used to eat its nothing, but compared to last week its loads!

Anyway, that all folks. Too difficult to write.

8 Weeks + 2 days post op

Well, today I finished all the painting. Still a huge list of things to do, but that is not one of them. Also put up the mirrors and clocks again, so its more like home again.

Didn't do much all day, pottered about the house doing this and that and moving furniture back into place, dusting etc. Yawn.

Band and eating wise.... Well see what you think....
For breakfast I had a bowl of Ready Brek porridge with maple syrup.
I had 3 little Cadbury's animal biscuits mid morning
Lunch was a Wiltshire Farm meal - Chicken and lentils.
And this evening, we went out to dinner tonight with Friends and they did a BBQ.

I ate for dinner: 1 chicken drum stick, 2 chicken kebabs on a stick, 1 sausage, 2 pieces of garlic bread and a tortilla wrap with another chicken kebab put in it. I could also have eaten more.
I was full, but I didn't feel I needed to stop. I was not even particularly hungry when I sat down to eat.

I think this is a lot of food.... Not as much as I would have normally eaten, and certainly not as much as all the others there ate either, but a lot of food for a bandit.

I think its fill time again. I can't have one for another 2 weeks though. However, I am going to book the appointment first thing Monday!

Its hit me really suddenly. This is so weird. What happens to this band? I mean, one day you have restriction and the next day seemingly none... Does it stretch or what?

Anyway, I noticed I was checking out the contents of the pantry a couple of times today.... I didn't grab anything, but that was only because there was nothing there to grab!

I will monitor the situation and see what happens. I don't think I should have been able to eat that much at 7pm after only having eaten lunch at 2:30pm...

But hey!

Whilst at our friend's house I saw the most AWFUL photo of me EVER in the history of the universe. I was their bridesmaid and I have a photo of me in the dress looking the size of a pachyderm. I look awful. Badly bleached hair, too tanned and humongous! I was at my heaviest here 19 stone 2lb (or 268 lbs).

I will post it to the gallery when I get a chance!

Keep it up lap banders! This time next year we will be slim babes!

Thursday, 12 April 2007

8 Weeks + 1 day

Sorry I haven't been posting as regularly for the last couple of days. Decorating is seriously taking its toll!

Anyway, I am nearly done except for:
one final coat of paint, 2 new doors, painting old and new architrave, placing one bit of coving to finish it off and then doing the 2nd coat on the ceiling, putting up the new wooden blind, putting back up all the mirrors and pictures etc.

Good grief. In fact there's still tons to do. Ugh.

Anyway, plus side = it looks FAB! I am really pleased.

This decorating was doomed I think. We have now had a ding dong with all the family, and also had to pick up DS last night. He was supposed to be staying with my Mum and Dad until Saturday and then we were going to go down there and spend the day. However, just as DH and I were contemplating dinner options (Chinese restaurant in the village or Pizza Town in the town) at 7pm, we had a phone call from the little chap. He seemed a bit dejected and wanted to come home. He did do amazingly well, and had been there 5 days. He had had a lovely time, but just missed us and the 5 cats. So we decided to meet them half way. That put paid to dinner out and a DVD and cuddle on the sofa!

So off we went. We made the exchange at a motorway service station, then had something to eat. I had a sandwich from Marks and Spencer's food place which was in the services and also a pasta pesto thingy with pine nuts. I ate the pasta yummy thingy but only managed half the sandwich.

Then we made our way home. DS was complaining about a sore throat, and he seemed really un-talkative and worn out.

This morning, he was still asleep at half past 8 (UNHEARD OF!) and he got into bed with me and it was evident that he had a raging temperature. He was shaking with chills and was bright red and sweaty. He was also crying a little bit and had a sore throat. I gave him some pain killers and hoped to bring the temp down, but he has spent most of the day either asleep on the sofa, or watching TV. At all times he must have 2 duvets on him otherwise he says he is freezing. So, bless his little heart, he obviously wanted to come home as he was coming down with something. explained his dejected demeanor and lack of enthusiasm about all the things he had done this week with his grandparents. No doubt he will be feeling a little brighter tomorrow and then fill me in on all the fun they had. I know they did absolutely tons of stuff, so I expect I shall have earache from his chattering soon enough.

Today, well mostly gone to pot because of DS being so poorly. I tidied up this morning, although you would never know it! Then at half past 3 the paint finally arrived. I also had a delivery from wiltshire farm foods for this weeks evening dinners. This evening I had quorn and sweet potato curry with Thai fragrant rice and it was DELICIOUS! It was even better than a takeaway. So tasty and the whole meal was only 600 cals. That's truly amazing if you ask me.

I also started painting at about half past 6 this evening. I have gone for a colour called cookie dough on one side of the room and latte on the other. They kind of look like melted chocolate (cookie dough) and creamy coffee (latte). They go nicely together and it ties all my furnishings together and looks nice. It looks much bigger too. So up and down like the proverbial fiddlers elbow this evening. I have finally finished for the night and am writing this. It is in fact half past 1 in the morning now, but I will change the time of the post so that it registers as Thursday's date rather than Friday - for me its still Thursday.

Right, I'm off to bed.
nighty night.

Tuesday, 10 April 2007

7 Weeks + 6 days

Decorating Decorating Decorating.....

I will be glad when I have had enough.

We have TIRELESSLY been at the task.

Skirting
Coving
Stripping paper
Sanding
Filling
Sanding again
Papering
Painting

and it STILL isn't done. heuhhhh

We ran out of coving - we need 1 metre to finish the job. It comes in packs of 12 metres. Goody.

We ordered the paint - Cookie Dough and Latte - Wont be delivered until Thursday. Great.

So we have done everything now except paint the room, so we put the lounge back to normal for the time being.

I am exhausted.

Anyway, on a more positive note... I lost weight again!!

I lost half a pound this week taking my total weightloss since surgery to 20 and a half pounds!

So cool. The pressure is totally off. I LOVE MY BAND!

I have really not worried about food at all this week, and last night (even before a weigh in!) I had a milkshake from McDonalds! I just really wanted one. I have them about once a year as I don't really go for ice cream as it hurts my teeth, but yesterday evening I just really wanted a banana milkshake. So I had it and I didn't worry about it at all. I feel like a new person completely. I feel confident and happy in my soul.

Thanks to Erika and also Rava for your lovely comments about Disaster Karaoke evening. Hugs!!

There are so many people from Australia look at this blog. I am amazed! It must be because I usually post and update it at midnight or something!

tomorrow is 8 weeks post banding and time for - YES! Another photo of me and my flab!

So tomorrow you get another photo on the same page as the others. I will try and keep the scale the same as the others.

Night night.

Saturday, 7 April 2007

7 Weeks + 3

So yesterday started great and ended RUBBISH

** I apologise in advance for this post. Its not about Weight Loss, but our lives, so you don't have to read it if that's what you read this blog for. I just had to get it off my chest. **

We went down to my Mums and took DS as he is staying with them for a week. We had a few tears, but he soon got over them. He is having fun which I knew he would. But sadly we had to leave around 4 o'clock because we had to go to DH's Mum's Pub and do a Karaoke. I like singing on Karaoke, but I just don't like the pub scene any more. Roll on the no smoking ban. Can't come quick enough to be honest.

Anyway, we turned up at the pub and there was a few old geezers in there swigging their pints. So DH set up the Karaoke and put the books with the songs out on the tables. He really takes pride in it all; does it for free, but spends a lot himself in time and energy because he enjoys it. We don't do this for a living or anything, let me make that clear. We just do it because his mum has the pub and it gets trade in. + we enjoy a good old sing too!

the bar was not dead, but there were not people there who were going to sing. So we sat there. I had about 3 coffee's and DH had some beers... And we sat there. We had our dinner... I had a plate of prawns with some peanuts. (Just fancied it - and NO! I am not preggers before you ask!) Then we sat there some more tapping our fingers to the beat of the prelude music... which we play to warm it up. Mmmm. Great.

Well about 9pm I said its not worth it, lets put the jukebox back on and pack up. They promised up faithfully that they had advertised it, but all I could see was an white A4 sheet of paper on a blackboard out the front which looked like it had been there all of 10 minutes.

So we were just getting ready to tidy up at half 9 when the promised hoards came tumbling in! All 6 of them..... Yeah..... 6.....

So we cranked up the volume and waited. We had a couple of girls sing, I did 2 and Phil did 3 and that was about it. Someone was so drunk (when they arrived) that they dropped the mic and broke it, so that was cool too.

So its was just fun fun fun.

THEN.... All hell broke loose.

I cannot possibly be bothered to go into details but DH's sister got the hump. She is knocking 40 and acts like a 4 year old. She is so wrapped up in herself. She thinks the world and its dog owes her a living and shes had such a terrible life so we have to pander to her. She is obsessed by some guy who dumped on her (20 YEARS AGO!!) and hates men, ansd anyone who is happy. She is simply jealous of what we have.

Well DH lost his temper BIG STYLE. DH is the softest bloke you have ever met in your life. I have NEVER heard him shout, but he tore his Mum off a strip about her for 2 hours. It was terrible. 10 years of hurt came flooding out and he couldn't stop himself. 10 years of putting up with the rough end of the stick and being a "good little old boy ". He just had enough. so many things came tumbling out and he was right about it all. His sister has dumped on us from a great height for 10 years, and obviously before we ever met too.

So his Mum got both barrels as she sticks up for her all the time.

I felt sorry for her, but he was right. I think you do get to an age when you just cannot put up with any more crap from anyone - especially the people who are supposed to love you but evidently don't.

So I as in tears as all the heartache about how she ruined our wedding day, our sons naming ceremony, and untold other major events in our lives including lack of care when it comes to health scares, job losses etc. Right down to why his Mum and Dad haven't divorced after 9 years of being with other people, and the will his Mum has made!!! Yes, even all those unsaid things that you talk about to each other about and grumble about but never say because its 'other peoples choices and rights to do what they want'.

No one ever asks his opinion or considers his feelings in his family. I felt such overwhelming sadness for him. I have been there holding him whilst he has cried because his family have let him down one more time, and hes just quietly accepted it and got on with his life. I am glad he had enough to be honest. I am glad he let rip. Hopefully this will help him feel a bit better about himself.

So, yes, it started out joyous, but ended terribly, and we both went to be shattered, unhappy and feeling unloved by our family.

So today to make up for it... we are decorating. YAY!

Well, it was planned, so hopefully the effort and manual work will be cathartic.

At least it will help shift the pounds and I will be too busy to eat too much!

I will post a pic of how its going later.

xx

Friday, 6 April 2007

7 Weeks +

I very nearly had a heart attack.

I just got on my scales for the first time in a long while....

Now, they are not accurate, but usually I am around the 17 stone mark on them.

They said 15 stone 10. ( or 220lbs)

I am obviously NOT 15 stone 10 but they have NEVER been in the 15 stone range when i jump on.

like I said, heart attack.

I repeat : THEY ARE NOT ACCURATE, but this is still a milestone!

I cannot WAIT until Tuesday. Can you believe its one day later this week because we have a bank holiday. Grrrrr.

Mind you, another day, another ounce!

ahhhh

Thursday, 5 April 2007

7 weeks + 1 day

What a wonderful day! It was absolutely glorious out this morning with everyone! The sun was so warm, and it really makes you feel so much better. All the little buds are out o the hedgerows and peoples lawns have had their first mow of the year, and everything looks toy town.

After the work we went and popped in J and her boys, and S and her 4 were there too, so they all had a nice play together for a couple of hours. We had a nice chat, and I told J how much weight I had lost when S piped in "I knew it!" Now, J knows about the operation, but S doesn't... So we both look at her and wondered what it was she had worked out. When she said "I spoke to K a few weeks ago and he said you were feeling much better after the operation. And I asked him what operation and he said he didn't know, but something to do with your tummy, and that you had it in Belgium. I had just finished reading an article in Bella (or other women's mag) about a woman who had lap band surgery, and I thought you had lost a load of weight!!!"

So I kind of had to tell her. I didn't mind actually. She thought ti was great and was really pleased that it was working for me. I just couldn't believe that she worked it out. Oh well... I guess after a while people will start to put it together, but until they do I wont be tellin'!

So it was a great morning, and then we came home and sat in the garden for a bit. DS was playing with the hose and shooting the cats with it, and "accidentally" getting me too. Strange that!
It was 22 degrees in the garden! I was amazed. I mean its the beginning of April for goodness sake!!

today has been really odd. I have not felt hungry at all. I know that I have had an apple. I ave also had 2 yogurts and lots of water and coffee, but I just haven't been proper hungry. I have noticed this a couple of times. I think i am going to have to make myself eat something. How terrible!! HA HA. I have dreamed of being one of those people who HAD to make themselves eat something! Now its come true. Fancy that.

I have noticed that I look much better in things. I got out a pair of shorts from last summer, when I was obviously fatter than I am now, and they actually fit really well. They sort of hang right, whereas last year they were a little bulging!! However my T shirts are a bit ridiculous - they are swamping me! YAY.

I will be waiting to go shopping in about 5 weeks time ready for the holiday. Funny to think that that is less time than it was since my operation. I am getting really excited about it!

Right, must serve up tonight's dinner that I slaved over - mwah ha ha (*evil laugh* thanks wiltshire farm foods!)

Roast beef, Yorkshire pud, roast tatties and veggies. Mmmmm. All less than 400 cals!